Linked by a Pen
by Blue-Songbirds
Summary: Max, a hard nut loner. Fang, your typical popular, hot emo player. So what'll happen when their schools set up a pen-pal program and they get assigned eachother?
1. His High Lord of Fangaliciouness

**Hey, I'm Blue-Songbirds and this is my first ever fanfic. I'm not new to the site though. My ("unique") sister gave me the idea. I wanted her as a beta reader, but the site won't let me. If anyone has any books to recommend, please do! If i accidentally use your houses address by accident, then that's just weird.**

**The dreaded disclaimer (at least to us that don't own it): I do not own the characters, this computer, or the used states (it'd be awesome if I did though).**

**Chapter One**

You can usually tell when you've fallen asleep in class, because you wake up to a bunch of sniggering girls and a very pissed off looking teacher.

"Maximum! Pay attention, if you continue to do this in class I _will _send you to the principal's office!" Yelled my History teacher, Ms Wilson.

I inwardly smirked. Like I haven't already been there today. I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.

"Now class. As you know, we have a twin school in Florida. As part of your senior year experience, we have decided to set up a pen-pal program." She paused. There were audible giggles from _those_ girls.

"Is this compulsory? And it's M. A.X. Max." I called out. You could see her counting to 10 in her head.

"Yes, it is...Max. We have tried to set as many of you as possible with the same gender."

She pulled out a slip of A3 paper from her immaculate desk.

"I will be calling out names. The sheet will be in the office, you will have to tell the office workers your names after school and they will give you the address. You will be asked to give a pen-name so we can send them on to our twin school.

To be honest, the whole pen-name idea is stupid. I mean, come on! If we're talking to them they'll get to know us anyway. And we're hardly going to meet them!

"Ms White, you are with Scales.

Ms Jones, you are with Mackie.

Mr Jackson, you are with Hot stuff-"

I stopped listening at this point. Ride won't be for a while. Honestly, I think this is stupid. I mean, say I get a preppy chick, or some slut. Then what do I say? I guess I could ask Ella, she's a senior, so she's getting one too; Ella is 7 or so months younger than me. She's a cheerleader. Not one of the slutty ones though. I'm a bit of a hard-nut loner, so we don't hang out. Angela is smart. She should be able to come up with something. She's only 6, and looks like a cherub. Ells takes after mum, who won't be much help. They look Hispanic. I'm tall, brownie blonde hair and brown eyes.

"– Mr Martin, you are with King of the Amazon.

"Ms Ride, you are with, _oh dear_, His High Lord of Fangalicioness."

And finally, Ms King, you are with Chocoholic."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Okay, so I got a bit of a joker boy, much better than a slut I guess. I doodled crop circles for a few minutes before the final bell went. I gathered up my stuff in my bag and trudged off through the crowded hallways to the office. Stopping off at my locker, I swivelled in the combination. The lock popped open and I dumped off my textbooks into the surprisingly tidy locker. Just as I was walking through the immaculate office doors I was grabbed from behind. I elbowed the person in the solar plexus and jumped foreword. A familiar groan erupted. I smiled. Only Dylan. Dyl's my boyfriend. He's captain of the football team and for some unknown reason has been dating me for two or so years.

"Really Max. Was a simple 'hello' just too hard?"

"Sorry. Reflexes." I said with a smirk.

He smiled his California beach boy smile and slung his arm over my shoulders. I shrugged it off and went over to the desk.

"Sup, I need the address to my pen-pal, my names Max Ride. And I want my pen-name as Max." I rattled off. She gave me an easy smile as she typed it all in to the ancient computer.

"Got it. Now, your pen-pal, due to some confusion, has changed his name to Fang. Okay hunny?"

I watched as she scribbled onto a fluro yellow post-it note. She handed it to me with a smile and got back to work. She looked around 20 or so. She must be new; she isn't glaring at me yet. Fang, just my luck. I get the emo dude. I looked down at the note. Only for Dylan to snatch it off from me. He had one of his own.

"Fang huh? Aren't you meant to have your own gender?" He said with a hint of annoyance. I gave him a _look. _

"Dyl, calm down. Who did you get anyway? He looked down.

"Uhhhh, some dude called Shadowmancer. Anyway, I best be off. Coach'll kill me if I'm late again."

He kissed me on the cheek and ran off. I looked down at the note:

_Fang, senior._

_28A Empire Lane, _

_Florida_

I stuffed it in my pocket and slung me bag over my shoulder.

_-Time lapse-_

"MUM, ELLA, ANGEL, IM HOME!"

There was the general response as I walked into the kitchen. Fresh cookies lay on the table. There was chuckling as my eyes got what I assumed was a feral, possessive look. I grabbed 6 or so and sat on the swivel chair.

"Max, I was just telling mum about the pen-pal program. I think it's a wonderful idea. And I thought I threw out those jeans. And now that I think about it. Isn't that the same black hoodie from the male isle at JJ's? I got a guy called Iggy. Who did you get?"

"Hey Angel, loving the dress. I think it's stupid. Hello mother dearest, thanks for the cookies. Yes you did, yes it is. That's a weird name. I got a guy called Fang, and I need ideas on what to talk about to him." I exhaled and stuck a cookie in my mouth.

Angel giggled. "Maxie, what about 20 questions? I played it at school today with Maggie and Sarah." She smiled and skipped off to the living room, her goldy locks hair bouncing in the ponytail behind her and her red plaid dress swinging merrily. 20 questions not a bad idea, told you she was smart, in her own way.

I grabbed the cookie plate much to Ella's objections and went up to my room. I kicked open the door and plopped down on my purple duvet bed. Grabbing some paper and a pen I sat picked up a hardback book. Science 101, shoot. I need to do my science homework. I uncapped the pen and began to write.

_Hey Fang._

_I'm Max, short for Maximum, I'm a girl, and I guess I'm your pen-pal-_.


	2. The Igsters Arrival

**Hey, I'm back. SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! But I had trouble with getting the momentum going. If anyone has any tips on that, help? Tell me if its crap, but only if you can tell me whats crap and how to fix it. Well, here it is.**

Chapter 2

Fang POV-

"Fang, Fang, Fang, FANG!" I gritted my teeth, attempting to ignore yet another hormonal bimbo.

Now or never Fang. I pivoted on a black converse clad foot. A bubbly blonde skidded to a stop a few feet away. She twisted a ringlet round her perfectly manicured finger. Yeah, I know what a manicure is. She grinned.

"Oh, hey Fang, you must not have heard me. Silly goose. _So, _I was wondering if you'd walk me to the office, because, yah know, the pen-pal thingy mahoot." She gave an irritating giggle. I smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"So, anyway, here's my number. Just in case you get bored." She gave what I'm saying is her signature giggle. I plucked it from her outstretched hand.

"I'll put it with the rest." I said with a smirk, sticking it in the pocket of my black Levis.

"FANGYPOO!" Iggy raced up to me, I wondered when the psychotic friend would be making an entrance. He put on his gay voice, not that he's gay, no offense to gays.

"Oh, Fangums, I'm ever so glad I found you! I've been looking_ all_ over. Who's this! He screeched. "You're trying to take my Fangums away from me! How could you Fang! I thought what we had *sob sob* was special!" Oh Iggy, I really do hate you.

On the upside the blonde was backing away cautiously. She muttered a few vowels before literally sprinting down the halls. I smirked at Iggy, except he wasn't there. He was already chatting up some poor, unsuspecting cheerleader. Only for the smart cookie to slap him. Hard. Iggy came limping over to me like a lost puppy, clutching his red cheek.

"Number 19?" He nodded. Iggy made up 100 or so chat up lines. As you can see. They're not the best.

"Yeah." He said hyperactively. "She gave me her number. Or rather _you_ her number. But I don't think you should call _her_ too. I mean, dude. You already have quite a few goodies lined up." I held out my hand. Unwillingly he handed me it.

_Brianna, 909-289-460 ;)_

I put in my pocket along with Giggles number.

"So, Fang. We need to give those smexy office ladies our names. I can tell them you want to be called Fang, while you put away our bags and whatnots. M'kay honey dearest?" I nodded.

He threw his messenger bag into me and I almost gave an audible 'oof', almost. He sauntered off down the packed hallway. The final bell had already rung. Plugging in my solid black I-pod, I slunk down the hallway.

"Fang, bro!" I looked up. Ari thumped my shoulder.

"Who'd ya get man? I got some dude called Chicken Turkey. I wanted a chick though. If you catch my drift." I raised an eyebrow. I swear, he's worse than Iggy.

"Ig's getting ours." Ari nodded. He thumped me on the shoulder again.

"Good luck mate. May the force be with you." I groaned, he winked and Iggy came over giggling. All usual.

"Fang, here's your lovely info. You got some dude called Max. I put you down as your High Lord of Fangalicioness."

Wait WHAT! I turned on Iggy so fast I almost got whiplash.

"What." I ground out in a low, dangerous, and as the girls say, sexy, voice. Iggy, the nerve of him, just grinned. I pivoted, and thundered down to the office, ignoring all the winks, giggles and other whatnots. I slammed the office door open. The newbie behind the desk grinned.

"I'm going to go out on a whim, and say that you want to change your name from His High lord of Fangalicioness?" I nodded tersely.

"Fang." I muttered.

"Sorry hunny, but that's not much better. But, to each their own." She typed it in rather fast.

"Okay." She mused. "It may take a few hours for the update to register. So, when the New Yorkers get the names it'll still be what your friend put. But when your pen-pal collects your address, it'll just say Fang on the register. Okay hunny?" _Great. _ I swear to god imma crucify Iggy.

_-Time Lapse by a few days-_

"Fangtard, mail!" That would be my sister Monique. She kicked my door open and Frisbee threw a white envelope onto my ebony bed. I stuck my finger in and shredded the top open. It was just a few pieces of paper written on with a pen. Must be from Max.

_Hey Fang._

_I'm Max, short for Maximum, I'm a girl, and I guess I'm your pen-pal. I'm a senior (No freaking duh) and live with my mum and sisters in NY, as you know. _

_My little sis, Angel, (she's 6) thinks we should play 20 questions. Heres the rules. No question bar the question. We each get 20 questions. Blah blah blah. _

_Any complaints and I will find out where you live and set the neighbourhood slut on you (this is where I smile sweetly. Oh, and we have to answer our own question. So we don't ask stupid stuff. I'll start off easy. _

_What_

_What's your favourite colour? Mines blue and black. _

_Lots of fake love-_

_Max. _

She had her address on the envelope so i grabbed some pen and paper to reply. Hmm, Max is a girl. From what I gathered it suits her. I racked my head for a question. Got it!

_Sup, I'm Fang._

_I like black-_

**Sorry it took so long! I really struggled with this one. But I'll improve. If anyone has any tips on Fangs POV, PLEASE TELL!**

**Blue-Songbirds.**


	3. Hyper Munchkins

**Szia (hello in Hungarian).**

**Sorry a buh-billion times about the wait! I stink at making them above, like a page and a half.**

**If you're interested in becoming my Beta person, either PM me, or just stick it in your review (which you WILL do *swings clock in front of face*). **

**Assuming people apply, I'm REALLY sorry if I don't pick you, like**_**, really really**_** sorry.**

**Tovább a történetet (on with the story, in Hungarian)**

Chapter 3

Max POV

"The sun'll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar la dee-da deeee!"

"Ella! Shut your fat gob before I get out of bed and pound your scrawny ass!"

"Maxie! Language! And it's like, 11am!"

"It's English! And it's a _Saturday_!"

"Yeah, so!"

"Lovely comebacks! It's hard to believe were related!"

"At least I'm not emooo!"

"Wearing black doesn't make me emo!"

"Does to!"

"Does not!"

"Does to!"

"Max, Ella! Pancakes!"

That, I'm ashamed to say, got me out of bed pretty damn fast. Skidding across my bedroom, I grabbed a pair of blue board shorts, and a black singlet. I sprinted down the stairs while throwing my hair back in a ponytail. Skill. Of course I _accidentally_ slammed into Ella, who was wearing a pair of denim shorts that reached mid-thigh, a pale pink singlet, and one of those weird baggy tops that are cut in half.

I stuck my arms out in front of me before I slammed into the oak door, turning around to a glaring Ella.

"You. Slammed. Into. Me." I shrugged with a grin,

"First come first served sister dear."

Mum opened the door and I slunk past her into the aromatic kitchen. I waltzed to the cupboards and grabbed a plate. Stopping at the stove for a few pancakes. _Alright_, all the pancakes.

"Max! Put half of them back!" What! She's not even looking at me!

"But Mum!"

"Now!"

Like mother like daughter. I grabbed my conveniently placed I-pod off the surface, and plugged with one hand while I used the other to mooch around in the cupboards for maple syrup. Ella was flicking through the TV channels.

"So, Mum?" I asked conversationally, while plopping down on a couch to watch some morning TV with Ella who was eating her weird rabbit food she calls salad.

"Yes Max?" She asked wearily from the coach opposite.

Just to give you vague layout plan, there's a door from the hallway that leads to the kitchen, which is modern, with big windows and pale brown fake wood floorboards. There are cupboards built into the walls. Then the fake wood stops and it changes into a kind of creamy carpet, which is always littered with my music, and Ella's magazines. It's a rectangular room, the kitchen at one end and the living room at the other. The living room has a TV, with 3 beige, plush coaches forming a semi-circle. There's a bunch of big windows littered around.

"When does Angel need picking up from Maggie's?"

"In about a half hour. Could one of you girls pick her up? I've got to get to the office."

As if to prove her point she picked up her shoes (a pair of flats) and her red leather bag and kissed us both on the foreheads.

"Be back later girls!" She called as she jogged into the hallway. "Don't kill each other!" And with a loud bang of the door, she was gone. I got up with a yawn and a stretch, grabbing the last pancake off my plate, and stuffed it into my face. I picked up my syrup covered plate and padded over to the sink. Ella in my wake. We both stuck the plates into the sink.

"You're picking her up." Ella said as she walked out of the kitchen, and into what I assumed was her bedroom. Meh, I don't mind, me and Ange are cool.

I cat stretched and plodded into the hallway. I jogged up the stairs and into the thankfully empty bathroom. I brushed my teeth and hair, got dressed in army pants and the same singlet, and opened the door, only for it to slam into Ella.

"I have some people coming over later, stay out the way."

"And if I don't?" I asked with a smirk.

"Well, I'll just have to tell mum about you sneaking out to go to the concert with Dylan last weekend." She had a smug look on her face. That little brat!

"Okay mammas girl." I said trying not to punch her little face. As you can see, we don't exactly 'see eye to eye'. I stalked off and checked the time on my phone. I should probably leave right about now. I grabbed my car keys and walked out to the drive. Opening the door on my rusty black Chevy I slid in. Starting up the car I turned on the CD player and stuck 'This is War' in.

_-20 minute time lapse-_

Road, more roads. Yet more road. What's with all the freaking road! Houses! Hallelujah! 20, nope, 23, nope, 25, nope. Oh wait, rewind. I pulled into number 25 Yorker Lane. A two story with an attic white house loomed up, with a whole lotta yard and quite a few toys muddled on said yard. I parked on the gravel drive. With a cat stretch I paused the player and trudged outside. Walking up the crunching drive I knocked on the dark wood door only to be greeted by some very familiar squeals.

Maggie's mum opened the door. She was short and a bit on the podgy side, with drawstring pants and a wraparound jacket. I was a round a head or two taller. She smiled.

"Here for Angel?"

"Uh-huh. Val had to go to the office" I said awkwardly.

"I'll just go get her stuff." She said with a weary smile as she walked upstairs leaving me alone, standing uncomfortably on the door step. I could hear leaks of the conversation.

"Mag, Ange...Right now...Max...Where's Celeste? ...Give...Hand..." I smiled. Good luck with Angel, I taught her myself.

It was a good 10 minutes before a very disgruntled Mom and two hyper looking kiddie winks came skipping down the stairs. I grinned at Angel, who was holding a hot pink suite case in one hand, her angel teddy bear Celeste in the other and a huge grin. When she came over I took her suitcase off her.

"Hey Maxie! Thanks! We had _so_ much fun. We watched a whole lotta movies and had popcorn. And then-"

I turned around to mouth 'thanks' to her amused looking mum. She nodded and they both waved at me. Now, time for the 30 minute drive home with a babbling Angel. Where did I put that I-Pod?

_-Yet another time lapse of 2 days-_

"Mail!"

I jogged out of my room to the kitchen the table. Bills, bills, schools notice, Fang! Finally, that emo takes forever! I took it into my bedroom. Slamming the door with my foot.

_Sup, I'm Fang._

_I like black and hate being called emo._

_My idiotic friend Iggy, who is the pen pal to Ella I think her name is, put my names as... you know what._

_I live with my mum, and adopted sister, Monique._

_My question is: What's your favourite quote? _

_Mine is (at the moment): A secret admirer is only a stalker with stationary. I have a lot of experience with secret admirers, and girls. Especially girls. Not that I'm a bad guy, just got a half true rep, as you'd understand. _

_Fang_

_Fly On._

Crap! I got a player who thinks he's all that and more. Great, just great. Quote huh? I think I've got one in mind.

_Holla._

_My spidey senses tell me you're a player-._

**I'll try speed up update time.**

**Blue-Songbirds.**


	4. The Gigglenaughts

**Helo (hello in Welsh, yeah, welsh)**

**The Elusive Chapter 4**

**Ymlaen â'r stori ('On with the story' in Welsh)**

Chapter 4

Fangs POV

"Fang, can I finish the milk! Because, I really want another bowl of Cocoa Pops, but I wanted to know if you wanted the rest of the milk! Don't you just love Cocoa Pops? I wonder how they get it to pop, and- Oh, mail!" Ahhh, the perfect wake-up call. Eh, I'll just grab a pop tart.

"Yeh!" Hmmm, wonder if Max replied yet.

For those who give a damn about the weekday's (like Rebecca Black), it's around 10am on a Sunday. Dad should probably be at work, yes, on a _Sunday._ He's what we refer to as a 'workaholic'. Mum's probably walking the dog. And me, well, I'm holed up in my emolicious room, attempting to evade Nudges (Monique's) wrath.

We adopted her when she was only a half year old or so. I'm a _smidgen_ over protective; she's 14 for god's sake! That's the... progressive...year.

To call Iggy or not to call Iggy. I might get the guys together to play some footy, yeah, I'll do that. Footy equals a bunch of buff guys, and giggly girls are_ very _attracted to topless dudes. I may even get a make out from this. Picking up my generic teenager phone, I punched in Ig's number, well, speed dial #7. **(A/N- just to answer MaximumRideFanAddict, who gave me my 7****th**** ever review, I have **_**no**_** clue why 7 is lucky, I searched, and there was too many things to put here).**

The phone did that annoying ringing sound, and then Iggy picked up, with an annoying side dish of squeals.

"Fang! It's been so long! What emo-tastic plot is residing in the landmine or your brain?" He said all that in a squeaky, high pitched voice. Yay (note sarcasm)! He's in one of his moods.

"Footy with the guys."

"Why (Here he comes with the breathy, Middle American, enthusiastic farm girl voice)! And you asked little old me before any of your other friends! Why, I'm just so... Honoured! I'd like to thank my Maw and Pa for introducing me to you all those years ago! And my doggie boy, Rex, for pissing up your leg, and my Aunt Per-"

"Iggy!" And he usually goes back to normal by now.

"Yeh? Oh, right, footy. I'll call the guys if you set up? Meet you there in a half hour. Buh bye love!" then he hung up. That boy gives me a headache, no wonder he's yet to get a solid girlfriend.

I strolled through the house, carefully avoiding Nudge and her motor mouth. I stopped in the pantry, (which is dark, and smells of a winery) to grab a chocolate pop tart.

Slinking through the crème wallpapered hallway, I snuck into the kitchen, which is pale blue, with big windows and a matching island. The dining room is attached; it's all dark wood floors.

I stuck the pop tart into the toaster and waited, and waited, and shouldn't it be done by now? I unplugged it (safety first kids) and peered inside, naturally, I couldn't see a thing. I felt around on my black jeans for my keychain with the mini flashlight. Swiss knife, wallet, ball point pen, and lastly, keys. I unattached it and sieved for the light. Got it! Shining it down it revealed... Nudges nail polish! I swear, her and Iggy have it in for me!

"Nudge! Kitchen!"

"Coming!" Wow, shortest sentence ever by her. She literally skipped in.

"So Fang. What's up? I heard you talking to Iggy about football? Mum says you have to bring me and my friends. Why do you look pissed off? Oops! Mum says I can't use that word. I wonder if a dogs bark is a swear word? That'd be pretty creepy. I wish I could understand dogs! Especially tea cup Chihuahuas. Then I would know why they shake. I could be like Eliza Do-Little! She's talks to animals. She's like, totally, my hero. OMFG! I remember in kindergarten, when we had to write who our heroes were. I put Princess Dianna. It's a shame she died. Her funeral was pretty. I loved princess dresses! And tiaras, my favourite stone is a ruby cause-"

I slammed my hand over her mouth. Football to rubies in under 30 seconds, that a new record.

"Your nail polish, in the toaster."

She gave me a muffled okay, slipped her mocha hand in, and extracted it. I let go of her mouth.

"That's where my Emerald Pearl Fusion went!" The doorbell thankfully rang and Nudge scampered off to let her friends in.

A few minutes later I was digesting my Pop Tart and in search of my football and fluro cones. I found the ball in Nudges room, being used a lipstick tester, so I scrubbed that, and the cones were under my bed. Within 10 minutes me, Nudge, and her annoying friends were all in my black Mustang. I was zoning them out. Unsuccessfully. They were very... Descriptive for five 14 year olds.

"Yeah, so I was like Nah...fit ass...OMFG! Bastard...closet with Tim... Drunk by 9."

"Were here!" Nudge and her minions squealed.

I breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of manly men talking about manly things (aka females doing _very _not manly things, if you catch my drift). Nudge and the others got out with a pile of magazines and make up.

**(A/N- I think it's 7 a side? Dunno)** The guys saw me with the equipment and came over to help. Overall there were 10 of us, 5 a side, perfect. I laced up my boots and we all walked over to the pitch, Nudge and her friends skipped (literally) over to the bleachers which already had gathered a bit of a crowd, around 7 girls where already there. I winked at them, at the swooned, a lot. Glad to see I still got it.

The game started. Me, Iggy, Ari and two other boys against Harry, Mick and 3 people who I kinda knew but not their names. I won't bore you with all the details, but we won 45 to 27, I scored a good half or more of the goals, and by the end, there was a crowd of at least 50, about 2/3 were girls, none really worth my attention. I didn't get home till 2:30, and spent the rest of the afternoon avoiding the Giggle Clan.

Bum, bah dum, dee, dah lee. What to do what to do? Oh! I completely forgot about Max's letter. I silently opened the door and tip toed down the stairs. Avoiding The Giggettes was pretty easy. They were plonked in the living room playing SingStar or something. Mum was cooking tacos and dad was _still _MIA.

The letters were still on the table but Max's was the only one left. I tore it open and kicked open the bin, balling up the envelope and basket ball threw it in. Score! And the crowd goes wild!

Her writing was a messy scrawl, vaguely spidery. Eyes peeled for the Gigglenaunts , I tip toed to my room. I hate it when the house is taken over by girls; unless they're ya know, with me, wink wink.

I threw myself back down onto my bed, starfish style.

_Holla,_

_My spidey senses tell me you're a player, and I __really __don't like players, not one bit._

_Now, here's your first and final warning, __anything __sexist, perverted, or even __vaguely __offensive, and I will get a new partner, which would make you look very, very bad (this is where I give another sickly sweet smile, I'm getting good at those)._

_Now, onto other things. My favourite quote is probably either: Here's to the idiots that want us, the losers that lost us, and the lucky bastards that'll meet us. Well that's one of them. Another is 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed'. I could go on forever._

_My boyfriend (Yeh, I have one. He's caption of the football team, his name is Dylan) says I have a vague problem with them. _

_My question is: what's your favourite word, and why? Mine is 'knickerbockers'. I mean! It's just so fun to say! Try it, now._

_Lots of fake love-_

_Max _

_Your Supreme Overlord (my new sign off over powers yours, take that biatch!)_

_P.S- What up with the 'Fly On' sign off? _

Well, someone is a smidgen competitive, and touchy, and totally taken. Not that I'm jealous, I mean, hell, I don't know the chick, but this Dylan sounds like a bit of a dweeb.

I grabbed the pen and paper I always seem to use, and I always seem to do it on my bed, not that anyone probably cares... ya know, I may just stop thinking.

_Bonjour Madame Touchy!_

_I solemnly swear not to be a douche of any kind and to preserve the essence of out kinship-._

**Review and apply for being a Beta, also, tell me if you want a reply to the reviews. **

**Blue-Songbirds**


	5. Operation Avoidance

**Sveiki! (In Latvian)**

**Sorry I took so long! **

_**EvilMasterMindInProgress:**_** Your review made me grin from ear to ear! **

**Kallik of Gallifrey: Hahaha! I love those jokes! They cracked me up!**

_**ChrissyLikesToEatMangos**_**: Yup, I'm using Google translate. I stink at **

**Languages **

**Harley-May: Thanks a trillion times! That's one of the best things anyone's ever told me! **

_**Sasha (I know who you are): **_**D'awww! Either that or you're scared of me like Danny is **

**If I replied to everyone, it'd go on for ages! Which brings me such joy!**

**Par ar to! (On with it! In Latvian)**

Max POV

Chapter 5

Whoop-de-freaking-doo. The lovely Jeb (Dad, we... Clash) gets back from yet another uber long business trip tomorrow. I almost forgot he existed. We have issues, and no, not the kind we can work out with a cliché heart-to-heart over hot chocolate and mini marshmallows.

Ya see, I have one of those gut feelings, that the- messed- up –in- the- head people always tell you to follow, that Jeb (I've refused to call him Dad since I was 10, he's always away on like, yearly 6 month business trips) has been ummm, barking up a different tree? No, I think that means gay... Playing in a different house? No... Simply, I'm pretty damn sure he has a living Barbie stashed away in his travel bag, loosely translated into: He's cheating on mum.

So, as you can tell, I'm over joyed. As you can also tell, I'm a bit bitter.

I tried talking about this with an (EX) friend back when I was 11, and not a total loner. And guess where that landed me? With all the other party poopers who have a very real outlook on life. So, basically, it was like being... a fallen angel in that melodramatic way. From the top ranks to social Siberia. Not that I give a damn or anything by now.

It was time to start the 24 hour countdown.

24 hours to go and Vibrant Val being the perfect house wife (bleugh) and 'spring cleaning' with Exuberant Ella and Angelic Angel, while I hole up being Moronic Max, don't ya just love alliterations?

The 'Lets Try Get Moronic Max to Help Clean" talk went a little like this:

The scene is the living room, Sunday (today), and I'm watching Fear Factor re-runs. Vibrant Val enters.

"Max, your Dad's coming tomorrow, could you help with the tidying? I know you don't exactly get along, but I really need some-one to hoover the house."

"No."

Moronic Max exits.

You may think I'm being... Ummm... what's the word...?

"Ella! How would you describe my mood?"

"Theatrical, stupid, moody, melodramatic, unfair, unjust-"

"I get it!"

Okay, I guess I'm being all of the above. But I just, (control outbursts, control outburst, no swearing, no swearing) just...highly dislike him. But I'm not going to get too distracted by this.

Mission: Avoid All Work for the Next 24 Hours, is a go.

It basically just means holing up in my room, and screaming at anyone who knocks, oh, and listening to music.

20 Hours to go and Moronic Max is bored, very bored. I'm gunna have fun. What to do. I pulled out my old person's phone, and scrolled through my limited contacts list (the alphabet thing is messed up).

_Customer Services_

_Voice Mail_

_Val_

_Ella_

_999 _

_Mrs Whitaker _(I babysit for her devils quite alot)

_Fred_

_Steven_

_Louis_

_Jenny_

And finally _Dylan_

The other people are just some anti-social-not quite-but kinda-count-as-mates.

I selected Dylan's number and clicked the lime green picture of the phone. I'm not great with things that involve wiring, or buttons, or... electricity... Anyway, I pressed 'call'. The phone rang for around 7 rings before Dylan's familiar voice echoed through my ears.

"Hey?"

"Hey Dyl! This is Max."

"Oh! Hi, what's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanna meet up or something..."

"Yeah, sure. Gimme an hour and we'll go to the...park?"

"M'kay, the one on Willow Street?"

"Yeh huh. See you then. Bye!" And he hung up on me. Leaving me to say 'Bye' to the wind. Lovely.

One hour, hmmm... I shrugged out of my army pants and plain black T (with the curtains shut, there are many bored, hormonal teenagers on my street) and into a pair of (not on purpose) ripped skinny jeans which were in a dark navy colour, and a mid-thigh length, short sleeved and pretty baggy olive green top (the colour of Harrylious Potters eyes) that (ironically) had a picture of a cartoon wand on it. Oh, and a pair of worn out and fraying Doc Matins. Still had a good 45 minutes to go, 30 if I walk... Well, I may as well do my hair.

And by do my hair, I mean sneak into Ella's violet room and steal some gunk. I think it goes on hair. The label read: _**Bain de Terre Recovery Complex, Silky Shine Serum. **_

I'm going to go out on a whim and assume it's for my hair. I stuck it in and assumed it did a difference. Isn't my knowledge of... stuff, great? It made my hair kind of soft.

_-30 minute time skip-_

I was currently walking towards the park. I had a vague visual on Dylan's blonde hair. La-Dee-dah, lah-dee-dee. Dylan turned around and spotted me, he started grinning. I skipped over.

"Hey Dyl."

"Max! How's it?"

He slung his arm over me and I leant into his broad shoulder.

"It good." We strolled over to a park bench. Ya know, one of the generic white wood ones. I kicked my legs up on the seat next to me.

"My Dad's back tomorrow. I had to get out to avoid cleaning up. How's your weekend been?"

"Pretty good. Your Dad as in the one who's away for half of the year? What's he even doing over in Michigan for 6 months?"

"Yep, the very same. I think it's a branch or something.

"Oh, I have to go. Soccer practise. I'll see you at lunch tomorrow." And with that he stalked off. Sometimes I wonder why I stick with him. Well, I'm either faced with housework, or ummm... TREE CLIMBING! Immature? Yes, Do I care? Hell no!

I twirled in a circle, too thin, too short, _perfecto! _I spotted a thick willow. Trotting over, I chucked my jacket on the ground at the root, and stuck my foot in a hold. I grabbed a head height branch and hoisted myself up.

_-Time Skip Till Evening-_

15 Hours and Counting.

We were sitting at the table playing happy families, even thought the tension was cuttable. I stabbed my steak.

"Max! Calm down! You'll just have to put up with Jeb coming home! Is that too much to ask?" That was Mum, and she was pissed.

According to her, when it was around 2nd or 3rd period Jeb was arriving. I was grumbling under my breath and she... Freaked. It happens a lot. The house was spotless, no thanks to me, and Ella was giving me the evil eye. Nice to feel the love. I stuck a chunk of severed stake into my scowling mouth and chewed angrily, pretending to not notice how blimmin delicious it was. I tapped my foot. I drummed with my fingers, I clashed my fork and knife drum style, and annoyed the hell outta everyone. In the end Val had had it.

"Max! Go to your room!" I felt my mouth struggle to keep back a smirk. _Finally! _I was running out of things to do at the table. Mail! Angel picked it up earlier. I poked my heads round the door.

"Anything from Fang?" I asked. Ange nodded.

"Yep! I put it on the table with Ella's." She said in her adorably high voice. I grinned and she grinned back.

Padding into the kitchen I sieved around all the junk on the kitchen island. Val, Val, Angel, School, Ella, School, Me. I extracted Fangs letter and a pen from the fruit bowl. I guess they didn't get to the kitchen yet.

Spotting a school book I needed for English, and tucking it under my arm, I ran up the stairs, 3 at a time.

I flung myself onto my bed. Reaching across I turned on my speakers. 'Better than Revenge' by T-Swift blasted through. Meh, not bad.

Head bopping in a ridiculous manner, I took the letter in my left hand, the dry and heavy school book in the right. Closing my left eye and tilting my head I attempted to decide what to tackle first.

School, I need it done by Tuesday.

Letter, Fang might be being an egg again.

With a groan I did the responsible thing and picked up the book. I surprise myself sometimes.

_Napoleon attempted to conquer Europe in the yada yada yada... He is considered one of the greatest civil war blah blah blah. He... _

I give up! Guess it's the study notes from the internet again. I grabbed Fang's letter and ripped it open with my teeth. A piece of paper fell out with a scrawl that was becoming annoyingly familiar.

_Bonjour Mademoiselle Touchy!_

_I hereby promise not to be a douche of any kind and to preserve the essence of our kinship. _

_Now that that's out of the way. Let's reply to your last letter milady. _

_Aren't you a bit old to be watching spider man? And I deny any playerish accusations! It's not my fault that all you females fall willingly at my feet! _

_Well, just to point out the obvious. If everyone already has a partner, what are the chances of your teacher going to all the trouble of doing a 4 person swap just cause Maxie-kins doesn't like her big bad partner? And it doesn't sound like you're the teacher's pet..._

_Favourite word? Hmm, it'd have to be karma. Not for emo reasons, I just like it. And you can't judge with a word like 'knickerbockers'. What is it? Year 5? _

_This Dylan sounds like a right dweeb. I tried the word. And sounded like a prat. _

_Fang_

_Fly On_

_P.S-It's because I like birds._

And with that, it ended. He really get's on my nerves. Probably because he's right about the majority of what he said.

I picked up my stash of paper and started penning a reply.

_Hey._

_Nice to have your eternal worshipness-_

**Ideas are welcome! And I'll have Ch 6 up ASAP!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	6. The Leaches Minions

**Lorem! (Hello,in Latin!).**

**Yes, I'm a horrible person! I appear to have had a severe case of Chronic Writers Block (again). But in the end result, I have a pretty long chapter. **

Chapter 6

Fangs POV

"Fang! School!"

Yes, it's Monday. Yay! Please tell me you noted the sarcasm. I pulled my feet under the covers. I need a bigger bed. With an exaggerated yawn I thrust the covers off me and leapt up. Only to slouch, any thread of morning energy gone.

I padded over my room to the ridiculously large walk-in-wardrobe. The door opened with a comical creak.

Black jeans, black top, black converse, done. I crossed the room to the en-suite bathroom. Tousling my hair while brushing my teeth I let my mind wander. Well it started to, but then Nudge began pounding on my door. There really is no rest for the wicked.

"Fang! I left my Ultra Shine Mousse and Uplifting Clear Eyes mascara in your bathroom drawer yesterday! Pass it!" What on earth was she doing in my bathroom?

Squatting down, I stuck my tanned hand in the cupboard under the sink. Mine, mine, mine, and finally Nudge's. I pulled her 'things' out and opened the door. She was grinning, and tapping her foot, while wearing yellow duck onesies. With the feet. Weird girl.

"Hey Fang! Thanks so much! What are you wearing! You could at least _pretend_ to make an effort! I mean, what if someone finds out we're related? That would be bad. Although maybe cool, cause then I'd get to go to senior parties. Do they serve alcohol? I heard there are drugs! OMG! The other day, we had some people into our class to talk about drugs, they were cool-"

And with that I stuck the bottles into her hand and slammed the door. There was an audible 'humph' and she stalked out of my room. Sweet, sweet, silence. It was a few more minutes before I crept down the stairs and into the kitchen.

It's pretty big, all dark woods and shiny. My footfalls echoed on the polished wood floor of the kitchen and into the pantry. I grabbed a few pieces of bread out of the bread bin, and a jar of raspberry jam from a farmers market last weekend.

"Hmmm, Dee hmmm-"

I stuck the bread into the toaster whilst humming to myself. Tapping my foot impatiently I waited for the ding.

_-Time skip to school-_

The bell to be let out of math finally rang. It was only about a third through the day and I was already bored.

"Fang! There you are! Are you free Friday night? My parents are out of town and I thought we could, get together. Thoughts?" I swivelled. It was the cheerleader Iggy called Brianna.

She was decently hot, athletic body, big cow eyes; bleach blonde ringlets, the works. But make out material? What! I have high standards.

"I'll get back to you." Was all I said before walking off.

I could hear her stifle a sob. Girls these days.

I didn't meet up with Iggy till lunch. And he was in a sombre mood, which I do prefer to his hyperactive mood.

"So, mate. I hear Brianna got back together ex. And to think, we were almost close to being happily in love. How will I woo her undying love now? How Fang? How!"

"Who's her ex?" I asked with mild interest. I wonder if it's because I shot her down.

"Umm, some dude that does sports. I think it was the captain of the football team, Rick or something. Why?"

"No reason."

I picked up my burger half heartedly; it looked like...oval shaped vomit. Very appetising. I was zoning out Iggy when a whole lot of banging footballers burst into the cafeteria. Not very strange for this school. I looked up, and Rick, who Iggy says is the captain, was storming in. Looking _very_ pissed off. Oh, and marching in my direction.

I felt my body undetectably tense up, my hands balling up at my sides. In Max's words, my spidey senses are going off. I looked over at Iggy, whose face had gone a_ very _pale colour. His blue eyes met mine.

Rick marched up to my table.

"Fang! I hear you were harassing Brianna, and I'm not liking that." His arms were crossed and he was about a metre away. A metre too close for me.

I poked my bead to the left to look behind him. Not to my surprise, there was a smug looking cheerleader smirking at me.

I slowly rose from my seat. Time to get this over with.

"And are you sure about that?" I asked slowly, a patronising look dancing in my posture.

"Are you calling me a liar!" He roared. Nice to see the anger management classes were paying off.

"Nope, just misinformed." I said clearly.

"Why you little twerp! When I get my hands on you-"

"Riordan! Is there a problem here?" Ahhh, here comes the self fulfilling principal to save the day.

"No sir. Just going over some ideas with Fang here. I hear he's interested in the dance committee." Rick said. I felt my eyes narrow, if I have to join the dance committee because of this.

"Oh really? Now, move along." And with that the principal left the building.

"After school. Behind the bike shed. I'm gunna pound your ass in." And with that he stalked off with his entourage. I raised my eyebrow, and sat back down.

"Dude! Did you not hear him? How can you be so calm? _Rick_ is after you! Oh no! Can I have your posters when you die?" That was Iggy. But seriously, I can take Rick.

_-After School-_

I was walking home alone, probably not a smart thing to do with someone out for my blood. I was around about a block from home when I heard whispering. I naturally stopped.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeh, we could get in major trouble!"

"Yeah, what if the cops show up?"

"Just shut up! He'll be here soon."

"What if he was right?"

"He wasn't. And we have too; this is my only shot with Brianna."

I will admit that my blood ran cold at the idea that, from the sound of it, 5 footballers were waiting for me. And my only way home was past them.

I could take 3 easy, 4, maybe, but 5? The odds weren't in my favour. But since when do I back down from a challenge? Taking a deep breath, I stepped into their line of view.

"Hey! I hear you're after me!" I called into the alley. The effect was instantaneous. Rick barged forward and stomped on his cigarette, his rather burly henchmen lining up at his sides. I felt my body tense up.

"There you are! I told you not to mess with me."

"My recollection says otherwise. And Brianna was lying." With that he lunged.

I smirked and side stepped. He got up too fast for my liking. His henchmen were standing there, unsure what to do.

"Well get him you dweebs!" He roared. Game on.

They all ran to me at once. Tackle is it? At the last possible second I jumped to the left. Rather humorously they all crashed together. Two appeared to be knocked out cold.

Rick and two others stumbled up. His face was murderous. The other two leant against the wall groaning. Rick slammed his fist into my face when I was distracted. My head swung back. I snarled, yes, snarled.

I elbowed him in the jaw, and boxed his ears. He managed to throw a punch to my chest. I uppercut his jaw, gave him a groin kick, and punched his temple for good measure. He fell to the ground. I stood over him. He grabbed my ankle with surprising swiftness. I slammed into the floor. Hard.

I could hear ringing for a second before I jumped up. I kicked his rib cage and heard a snap. Before he could get up I left the scene. I felt a warm trickle come from my forehead. Blood, crap. Mum and Nudge would freak.

I stopped and rummaged in my backpack. I swear I have a beanie in here. Got it!

I pulled on a black beanie and made sure it covered my forehead. Next were my clothes. Hmm, I'll just say I was playing football in the park with some guys. And with that I began the trudge home.

_-Time skip to evening-_

"Fang! Mail from Max!" I shot up, excited, and had to stifle a groan. I haven't told anyone about my 'incident'.

Slower this time, I got off my bed, and slunk down the stairs to where Nudge was standing with the letter outstretched.

"Thanks." I mumbled before walking back upstairs. I plopped onto my bed and held it above my head.

_Hey,_

_Nice to have your eternal worship!_

_You appear to have forgotten to ask a question! This is the only time I'll let it go. Next time... mwahahaha! _

_So how about: 3 things you'd take to a desert island._

_Me? Purifier, bow and arrow, and a book on getting off a desert island with your bare hands. _

_You're never too old for spidey! He's awesome! And a great role model for the youth of America! Remember! Today's youth is tomorrow's leaders! Hah! I believe that to be cattle of bulls. _

_And there you go with the playerishness! But honestly, I don't like it. Just a polite (hah!) warning. _

_And being a teacher's pet is over rated. So are friends, a social life, good grades, parental units, and make up, fashion etc._

_I'm sorry, but karma is pretty emo-ish! Joking Molar hunny (kind of)!_

_You should wear hot pink. Or lemon yellow. No! Guy-Liner! Just a passing thought._

_Excuse me! But I happen to really like Dylan! And you don't need me to look like a prat Fangums! That's all on you! _

_Lots of fake love-_

_Max_

_Your Supreme Overlord_

_P.S- Really! The big bad Fangie loves birdies! You know, I think that's pretty much the only thing we have in common. Apart from our mean fashion sense!_

And with that it ended. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her. Guy-Liner? No. Way. In. Hell. I picked up the usual, and started writing a reply.

_Well hello warden Max!_

_I am dreadfully sorry for not remembering to play your little game-_

**The end! The next one should be up soon! Tell me in a review if you picked up on the PJO joke (un intended) and the hint of faxness.**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	7. Verbal Explosions

**Uy! (Hey! in Filipino) **

**This is chapter 7! Constructive critics would be loved. Although reviews of any sort are awesome... **

**Well, anyway! I used an idea PJO Rocks My Socks, which is in the letter (thanks, by the way!). It was great that so many of you got the COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL Percy Jackson reference. **

**As for those who say 'I lack plot' and 'there's no direction'. I have the plot taking off, and the last few were more character development than anything. And Fang POV's might seem a bit fillerish, but they're just developing his character. **

Max POV

"School, school is for mules. Mules need fuel, fuel is umm, and fuel is...I give up! You win Angel."

Angel grinned, and added another tally to her side. I will admit, I was letting her win. It was a game from when we moved and were stuck in a car for hours.

"You _suck _Maxie! It's my go! Start me off."

"Slime, and... _Go_!" She stuck her tongue out in concentration. I began to tally.

"Slime takes the time, time can be fuelled by lime, lime is the favourite food of mimes, mimes gather dimes-"She was almost winning when Val interrupter by popping her head into the door.

"Girls, school. And remember that Jebs coming back tomorrow, so _try_ to stay relatively clean, both of you."

"As if we could forget." I muttered as she ducked away. Ange heard me and giggled. I stood up from my seat and stretched with a big yawn. Angel did the same. I grabbed her school bag from under the table and handed it to her, while grabbing my own. I pecked her on the forehead and started off to school.

There was a nasty wind, and my hair was thrown around like a much messed up halo. Val won't be happy. Pieces of litter were blown onto my clothes, and I attempted to hold onto my navy hoodie. It was a twenty minute walk to school, and I apparently missed the bus. Referral for being late, here I come.

_-Time Skip to end of school Day-_

"Now class, can someone tell me what King Henry the 6th Christian name was? Anyone"

I held in a snigger as no hands went up. I'm pretty sure nobody knew. Ms Wilson zeroed in on me, and my comedic genius side was screaming for an audible gulp. Gotta love immaturity.

"Ah, Ms Ride, You've been awfully quite today, care to share your thoughts?"

Guess I didn't hold in the snigger very well. Gotta love sardonic techers. To reply sarcastically or to not reply sarcastically, fun verses detention, hmm...

"Alberta I believe." Sniggers went around, I pulled a very frustrated face, and people say I lack acting qualities, well, actually I've never been told that...

"Oh! Crap, mispronunciation, I meant Albert. Sorry Ms."

"Your language Ms Ride!" Ahhh, good to know I can still push her buttons.

"Now class, I trust you've been keeping in close contact with your pen-pals."

The end of her sentence was cut off by the still violent storm outside.

"There's a new task that we have decided would be great to monitor your project. And that would be that you must write an essay on your pen pal. You must have all the important information and some extras. Your partners will be doing the same thing and then at the end of the program, you will mail each other your project. Now-"

And with that the bell went. Yay, a project, whoop-Dee-freaking-doo. No slacking for Max now, and yes, I did just refer to myself in third person, I'm that awesome.

I strolled through the packed hallways in what I imagine a pretty damn awesome manner. Everyone parted like the red sea, people understand that I have a short fuse on Monday's, and Tuesday's, and Wednesday's, and the other two day's as well I guess.

I stopped at my locker and dialled the combination. Dylan appeared to be missing from school today.

I had a sick dread in my stomach that I couldn't place, which is weird for me. I began running through today's events as I put my history book back. Pulling out my coat I strolled back into rush hour, only for a lithe figure to slam into me.

I jumped up, seeing red, then simmered down as it was Ella, Val would kill me if I hit her.

"Oh! Max! Found you! Come on, Mum's here to pick us up with Jeb. You did remember he was coming... right?" I felt my face pale that was what I forgot.

"Ugh, stop being a whiny baby. It's getting on my nerves ! All you do is moan, and yell, and make mum mad; I don't even know why Angel prefers you. I'm a _much _better role model-"What is it with me and zoning people out today?

I braced myself as we walked onto into the car park. I made my face go blank, and undetectably tensed my legs for getting the hell out of there.

I don't know why, but something about Jeb always put's me on edge. And not just the fact that he may or may not be cheating on Val.

Me and Ella strolled over to the jeep. Mum was sitting in the front grinning, and I could see Ange in the backseat.

Jeb was riding shotgun. He was average height, no muscle to speak of, and with diminishing salt and pepper hair. He was grinning. But I could see right through it. He knew that I knew, and I knew that he knew that I knew. I nodded in recognition, and walked off to my own car.

I slid into my beaten up seat and blasted the heating on high, holding my outstretched in front of the heater.

There was some traffic, nothing much, but enough for my mind to wander.

6 months is either a very long time, or a very short time, depending how you look at it. Well damn.

_-Time skip to dinner-_

"So, Max, I hear you have a pen-pal? Fang her name was?" I glared at my chicken burger. This was his Jeb's 3rd attempt at 'conversation'.

"Yeh and it's a guy." I muttered, not making eye contact. I could feel Val's and Ella's glares. Ella was being a suck up. It's only because there a party this weekend she's desperate to go to.

"Oh, is it? I'm not sure I'm pleased with that. Why didn't you ask for a change? I might have to go to the school and ask about that. I'm going to be expecting to read all of the letters and your replies. No complaints." It was Angels pleading look that kept me from snapping. So instead I grunted.

"So, how's your relationship with that chap Dylan going? I like him. I approve of him. Have you got any friends yet? I want you to join some extra-curricular activities. Get those grades up. While I'm here, I want to do something about your clothes. I took the liberty of going through your closet, and I don't like all the black. Maybe you and Ella could go shopping this weekend? Get some lovely pink dresses-"Okay, I snapped, sue me.

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

"Don't speak to me like that young missy! I am your father! You must give me respect!"

"Father! Dad! Hell! That's just a load of bull! I don't want you here! You can't come barging into my life and take it over! Were you here when Angel got bullied? No! You weren't! I had to go into the school and sort it out! Were you around when Ella went out with a bloke twice her age? No! It was me that bet up his sorry ass! When Angel gets nightmares, I get her to sleep! And you? You're just sitting pretty over in _Michigan!_ I'm not a kid anymore! You weren't here when I was! Leave me alone! Just get the hell out of my life!" And with that I stomped out of the room.

I could hear Jeb's yells at how 'I had gone off the rails since he was last here'. I snorted. Angel poked her head into the kitchen where I was located.

She grinned and ran over. She wrapped her tiny arms around me and hugged me pretty hard. I hugged her back.

"Quick! You got to hide! Mum's mad, and Jeb's even madder." I stroked her tiny blonde head, and nodded. I grabbed Today's mail and sieved through junk and bills, and lastly, Fang's reply which had come really fast.

And with that I flat out sprinted to the bedroom. I flung myself onto my bed and tore open the letter. Still buzzing with adrenalin from my 'outburst'.

There was a knocking on the door. I quietly crouched by the door and peered under. Gold gladiators, Ella. I opened the door, and raised a questioning eyebrow. She looked pissed.

"How could you! Now Dad will _never_ let me go to the party! And that will positively _ruin _my social cred! Mum is severely pissed! Did you even think for one second what that little outburst of yours would do? No! You never think! I-"Cue slamming of door. I smirked at her outraged humph.

I then resumed what I was doing. Pretending to do homework, hiding, and pen-palling.

I opened the letter and a few pieces of paper fell out. I smiled at the normality, and then frowned at the smile.

No! I don't like Fang! I put up with him at the most. I am _not_ starting to like him. I picked up a few sheets of paper and a pen to reply with.

_Hello warden Max!_

_I am dreadfully sorry for not remembering to play along with your little game! But don't worry, I'll ask two questions to appease you._

_Now, onto your question, 3 things? Well, that depends on who's with me, wink wink. But assuming you mean all aloney on my owney, probably a gun, purifier, and a book on What's Poisonous and What's Not on a Random Island from Max's Head, 3__rd__ edition. _

_My two questions would have to be... Dogs or cats? And Dream superpower. _

_Spidey? Really? I really doubt that you're a senior. And I hate to agree with the 'American Youth' crap. Although, judging by your limited brain cells, probably on a deeper level. _

_I'm pretty sure there's a drug dealer in my neighbourhood alley... Just saying._

_I am not a player, unless you count flirting and... other things. _

_We should send each other a picture of our selves, just so I know you're __actually__ a female. Cause you sure don't act like one. And my mate Iggy wants to know what you look like. __He's__ one heck of a player._

_Well, I have friends, and a social life. Sadly, no makeup, although I have epic fashion sense. And an okay parental unit. But seriously, my fashions sense it pretty damn awesome. _

_My name is not Molar, no Maxums, it's not Molar. No matter what you wish it was. _

_Hot pink wouldn't compliment my skin tone, sorry Maxie. Neither would lemon yellow. And my eyes are dreamy enough without Guy-Liner. Sorry hunny. _

_My being a prat is completely in your imagination. Sadly, you didn't get off that easy. _

_Fang_

_Fly On_

Fang, Fang, Fang, what _am_ I going to do with you?

I started to reply.

_Warden Max reporting for duty!_

_You have been sentenced to life sentence on account of annoying me-_

**Next chapter is being worked on.**

**Blue-Songbirds.**


	8. Clipboard Ladies

**Hej! (Hey in Albanian).**

**Yes, I took forever; yes I'm a horrible person. But this is my longest chapter ever! Constructive critism is loved. Reviews are loved.**

**Në me të! ('On with it' in Albanian)**

Chapter 8

Fang Pov

"Honey! Get the phone!" I stabbed my egg bitterly. I had a headache of epic propotions, no thanks to Rick.

Nudge got the vibes and strolled over to the phone. Picking it up while choking down her waffle.

"Yello? Nudge here." She muttered. She isn't a morning person. A slight frown took place on her forehead. I turned back to my bacon. I shovelled a few pieces into my mouth and zoned back in on Nudge.

"Uhhhh... Kay, I'll just get Mum." She lowered the phone and held a hand over the mouth part.

"_Mum!" _ She skipped back to the table, phone in hand. Mum came strolling in; she was drying her near black hair with a towel. Eyebrows raised as Nudge handed her the grey cordless phone.

"Who is it?" She mouthed silently, picking it up. Before pulling an adult and answering the phone herself.

"Hello, Mrs Jones here? Who is this?" She was walking out into the kitchen, a frown on her face. Isn't this just the loveliest breakfast ever?

I pulled my back pack off the back of my chair and stood up. I ruffled Nudges hair and she glared at me. Picking up the very last piece of my dead pig I padded over to the door, only for mum to yell me back.

"Fang! Come back here please!"

In response I turned around and walked back into the kitchen. Mum looked pissed. Maybe I should just pretend to have not heard...

"Fang! Stay right where you are! Do you know who that was?"

"No." I mumbled.

"No? Well it was the _principal of your school_! And do you know why he was calling?

No." Well, actually I did. Who woulda ever guessed Rick would be a tattle tale?

"Apparently you beat up a kid! Care to elaborate?" Time to use up my word limit. I was making sure to keep a blank face.

"It was self-defence, and after school hours. Can I go now?" Mum sizzled down a bit.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I inwardly sighed.

"Because you'd pull a spaz."

She face-palmed and walked into the hall way. Nudge looked up at me with wide eyes.

"You got into a fight! That is so badass! I'm surprised you're not grounded! Can I have a lift to school? I'm going to be late otherwise. I hate being late! Its horrible being stared at, not that I mind a whole bunch. I'm reading a new-"I zoned her out as I walked over to my car, Nudge in tow.

_-Time Skip to School-_

"Hey Fang!" Two girls holding their books to their chests walked past, wiggling their fingers and speaking in annoyingly high voices. I raised an eye brow in return and they giggled loudly. These were the third girls to do that this morning alone. I guess winning fights umped my cred.

The hallway was cluttered with teens. It was almost first period, which is English for me and Ig's. I stopped at my blank locker, dialled in the combo, and extracted my text book. Doing a 360, I spotted Brianna strutting up the hall way

She was wearing a skirt that appeased my hormonal mind, and a top that did the same. Her hair was pin straight and left loose. Her make-up was more... mask like, than make up. I wonder what she'd look like without an inch of gloop.

She was getting closer, and closer, and _Brianna has landed_!

"Hey! I broke up with Rick, he was wimp. Anyhoo, we should get together. You're hot, I'm hot-"She was cut off by a frantic looking Iggy.

"Fang, bro! There you are! Is it true? Did you tango with some guavas? Or was it with lava? You can't ever trust High School Rumours."

"Punch up with Rick." Iggy did his infamous fish impression.

"Did you win?" I nodded in time with the bell going off. In the corner of my eye, I could see Brianna storm off. Shame, I liked where she was going.

Me and Iggy strolled into English, taking our seats at the back of the room. Everyone swivelled comedically to unabashedly gawk at me. I guess nobody's ever taken on Rick and pounded his scrawny ass.

Mrs Alb walked in, sour smirk and all, turning to face me, her scowl deepened. She doesn't like teenagers.

"Mr Jones, you're wanted in the office." She turned back to the board and started droning on about alliterations.

I picked up my book and pens, sent Iggy a fleeting look (which he didn't return due to the fact he was ogling yet another cheerleader), and walked out of the classroom into the empty hallways.

I stopped at my locker to get rid of the textbook, continuing to the Capital 'H' Heads office. Opening the door I could hear voices cloaked by the thick wood of the door. Slowly raising my fist, I knocked on the door. Heels clacked over to the other side of the door.

And my Mum opened it.

I sent her a questioning look, which she didn't respond to. Looking over her shoulder I saw Rick, a woman who looked exactly like him, in female form, The Principal, and some lady in a pencil skirt and jacket holding a clipboard and manila files.

I slowly edged past Mum and into the now silent room. Sitting on one of the empty chairs, I remained tense. Rick smirked at me. I kept my face blank.

"Well?" I asked. Everyone unfroze. The clipboard lady started talking.

"Mr Jones? Or would you prefer to go by Fang?" She asked crisply. I took in the room. The principal was looking at his desk. Mum looked at me with a blank face. Well I'm doomed.

"Fang. And could somebody just tell me why the heck I'm here." I said, breaking the awkwardness, and the unbearable silence.

"You beat up my son for no reason. We're suing you for emotional and physical damage." Ricks mum snapped. I tried not to yell my reply. Magical Mum came to the rescue.

"We want a lawyer. And Fang would like to tell his side of the story." She said sharply. She swivelled to me. In the words of Iggy: Time to shine Fangie, show em' what you got hiding under your epical emoness.

"It was self defence. Rick threatened me at school, and I passed him and five football players on my way home. He threw the first punch; I was just using self defence. I did what I had to to get away, and then went home." I said clearly. Well I just used up this month's word limit.

Five voices came in at once.

"Why didn't you tell me-"

"That is so not what happened-"

"Why didn't you call-"

"We will need to get the other boys in-"

"Could this hurry? I have papers-"

In the end Clipboard Lady's voice was the loudest.

"We can get you a lawyer. We will need you all to agree if you wish to take this to court. Taking it to court will cause extra drama. What I say, is that we get those other boys in here. Thoughts?" She said in that professional way people with important careers have.

We all nodded. I noticed that the principal didn't seem to like the way the lady was bossing him around. Male ego in action here! Mum looked at me, and started talking in a hushed tone.

"Are you sure? I don't want to take such a trivial matter to court. But I need to know that you are a hundred percent sure about that story. Are you hunny? It could save a lot of trouble." I nodded tersely. Aren't mums meant to believe you?

The principal picked up the speaker phone and looked at the list of names Rick had written. His voice began to echo over the campus.

"Could James Lewis, Ben Martin, Daniel Taylor, and Jack Smith all come to the principal's office immediately? Thanks you." And with that he turned to face me. And bloody glared at me.

I felt mum tense next to me. This is incredibly awkward. I looked around in boredom. It was a simple square office, crème walls, very official looking documents framed in gold, topped off with a large oak desk and the occasional dying plant.

Eventually they blessed us with their presence. Walking in they did look quite gormless. There weren't any seats available, so using their limited brain cells; they figured they better stand up. Clipboard was in her element and got straight down to business.

"You five boys, we believe, were involved in the recent activity involving the Fang Jones and Rick Riordan fight. IS this true?" It took them a minute, but eventually then all nodded, at the same time. Cyborg Freaky. The lady processed this, and wrote in down on her clipboard.

"Now; is it true that you five were the first to attack?"

"Ummm, Yeh." Jack Smith replied.

"Well, that changes things. Mrs Riordan, we are denying you're request to sue. Everybody, you may leave. I'll need you four boys to stay behind to make an official statement." And with that I had to go back to class.

Mum silently leads me outside. We crossed the field to the office. Walking in without a word, she stopped me outside, strolled in confidently, and signed me out. She walked out and faced me.

"We're going home; I can't handle the school at the moment. I signed Iggy out as well. I figured you'd want him round. Go get your stuff; I'll meet you at the car." I nodded, and she jogged to the car. Her handbag was clutched at her side.

I unfroze and went back to campus. I opened the door that lead to the hallways. Stopping at my locker _again_ I got out today's homework, relocked it, and carried on. I stopped outside Iggy's current class (Home Ec). I knocked on the door. Eyes swivelled towards me as I walked in silently.

"Well?" Asked the teacher sardonically. Is it impossible for there to be a single _nice_? Iggy turned to me, his eyes opened slightly.

"Here for Iggy. He's coming home with me. Now." I said clearly. Iggy grabbed all his stuff and sprinted out the room before the teacher could stop him.

"See ya sucker!" He yelled as he crashed through the door. I smirked.

_-Time skip to afternoon-_

"Hey, your mum sent me up with your mail. There's something from Max." Iggy stated before snatching my computer off me, and from the sound of it, going on Girlsense.

I picked up the crumpled up envelope and opened it quickly. The actual letter was written in a messy scrawl, messier than usual, and in some places the pen had gone through the paper. I'm guessing Max was pretty damn pissed off.

I found the first page and started reading.

_Warden Max reporting for duty! _

_You have been sentenced to life sentence on account of annoying me, see you in prison._

_You just keep keeping up your player image; don't you Fangles? I'm starting to believe it! (Cue gasp)._

_Ugh! You just took both of mine! I would say great minds think alike, but then I'd be complimenting you... _

_Anyway, I'm neutral on the dog vs. cat debate. I think dog's have their uses, depending on the breed. As in, Jack Russles are good for the playful side, and greyhounds have a kind of regalness. Whereas cats; if a cat were a person, they'd be pretty damn stuck up. But there's something likeable able that. And I'd want to fly. _

_One drug dealer? Fang, I have many, many drug dealers in my area. Take that!_

_In your dreams would I send you a picture of me! That denies all gut instincts. And your mate sounds... Interesting. _

_I highly doubt you have any fashion sense. I'm going to go out on a whim and say it's all black converse, black Levis, and black shirts. What did I get out of 100%? _

_I would ask what colour your eyes are, but then I wouldn't get to ask this: Describe yourself. Me? Tallish (5'11ish) with dirty blonde hair, brown eyes, kinda... Lithe I guess._

_Lots of fake love,_

_Max_

_P.S- Excuse the mutilated paper, I'm pissed off at... People. _

I chuckled silently. Iggy turned to face me. His voice turned helium high.

"Did _the_ Fangie just silently laugh? The worlds ending! What should-"I zoned him out as I picked up a pen and paper, with a book to lean on.

_Hey Maxie!_

_I guess we'll be rooming-_

**Chapter 8 finished. **

**Blue-Songbirds**


	9. Soiree's in the 60's

**Kaixo! (Hello! in Basque).**

**Here's chapter 9. Thanks a bunch for all the positive feedback! Puts a grin on my face.**

**Alrighty, so I'm thinking of doing a thing where at the bottom of the page (where I sign out) I ask a question that you answer in a review. Tell me if you're keen.**

**Kapituluan! (On with the chapter! In Basque)**

Chapter 9

Max POV

"Dad! Please! Everyone's going! It's the party of the semester! Plus, Max is always going out late on weekends; it's not fair if I can't!"

"Ella! I said no! That's the final answer. There is no way you're going to a party, a college one at that, on the other side of town!"

I walked into the kitchen where Ella and Jeb were having a showdown. There's some college party on the other side of town that Ella is desperate to go to. Jeb's pulling the Daddy Dearest position.

I walked in. _Big_ mistake. They both zeroed in on me. Jeb smiling in a disturbing manner, Ella in a scheming way.

"Hey, Dad?" She said slowly. He nodded at her to go on.

"What if Max came with me? Then could I go?" She asked, head cocked to the side.

"If Max goes I have no problem." He replied.

I stepped back, hands held out defensively.

"Oh _hell_ no!" I said loudly. Well there goes my morning. Oh, I have school. Ella's face turned devious.

"Hey, Dad. Do you know what Max did last weekend? I'm pretty sure it's against the law and-"

I tackled Ella and we both crash landed on the ground. I dropped my head to her ear.

"Shut your mouth before I crucify you." I threatened before jumping up and storming out of the room. No, I'm not telling you what I got up to last weekend. But it involved spray paint and boredom.

I stopped at the bathroom and slunk inside. I stripped (mind out of the gutters kids!) and stepped into the shower. But it was numbingly cold. _Ella_. I can just tell now it's going to be one of _those_ days.

I had a very short, ice cold shower followed by the brushing of teeth. I wrapped myself in a towel and staggered across the hallway half blind with tiredness, to my room, opening the closet. The montage of the morning gone.

Too happy, too tight, too small, quotes Justin Bieber-.

Hold up! These aren't my tops. I looked around. Shuddering from the sheer girliness, it doesn't take an egg to realise I'm in the brat they call Ella's room.

Do you want to know what added to the sheer craposity of the day? Ella stormed in. And she saw me.

Her hair was perfectly styled in a cliché cheerleader ponytail, and was wearing a mask of products. She had a skirt so short it looked quite trampy and a tight tank top. It was pretty disturbing. She unfroze and put her lungs into use.

"What are you doing in here! Hands off my stuff! I bet you're just here to take my money! Get out now! Now!" I opened my mouth to come up with a witty reply, when Jeb ran in wearing tight PJ boxers and a wife beater.

And he bloody glared at me. The nerve. I Death Glared back and he flinched. Max-1 Jeb- a big fat fricking zero.

"I'm out!" I said, leaving soon.

I could hear hushed voices, and my name being mentioned as I strolled me sanctum a room. I wonder where Val and Ange are.

"I hate you, you hate me. We're a crappy family. With a great big punch and a kick from me to you, won't you say you hate me too." I sang at the top of my voice as I entered my room.

"Be quiet Maximum!" Jeb yelled. I stuck my tongue out to the air.

I opened my closet and literally shut my eyes and stuck a hand in. It's how I get dressed most mornings.

I pulled out a baggy top with a cartoon red penknife set on a black back ground, and a pair of navy skinny jeans. It's pretty damn tempting to draw Jeb's face being mutilated by the knife...

Emo thoughts pushed aside! I slipped above mentioned outfit on and topped it off with black converse. Although, it counts as black and silver by now. The joys of duct tape.

I flopped back on my bed. I had a while before the hell- hole they call school starts.

I've always wondered who 'they' is. I wonder if it's that Santa Claus guy. I unflopped and staggered to the door. Which I dramatically flung open. Time to get a move on Max.

I can tell it's going to be one of _those_ days.

_-Time Skip to School-_

I strolled down the hallway that led to my locker. I spotted Dylan's blonde head, I wonder where he was yesterday.

I sped up a bit. Interrogation Max on the case. What? He didn't bloody call! So, anyway, I sped up a bit until I was up to Dyl, who was conveniently placed in front of my locker.

I was closing in, when I saw some girl move away from my locker pretty damn fast. You know? I should probably stop thinking to myself. Okay, back into the real world.

"Hey Dyl!" I said as I stopped in front of him. He turned to face me. He looked healthy enough.

"Oh Max! Umm, hey?" I felt my eyes narrow undetectably . He's acting weird today.

Dylan plus weird plus afore mentioned girl equals suspicious Max. I smiled, and he smiled back. His beach blue eyes didn't have the usual twinkle. Crappy day takes a knock.

"So, Dylan. Why weren't you at school yesterday? You had footy practice, right? You never miss footy."

"Uhhhh, Yeh. I had some twenty four hour bug, I'm fine now." We both smiled awkwardly. I guess this is why I don't have friends. Social awkwardness.

I put on a blank face. Maximum Ride doesn't show weakness! I pointed to my locker, and he shifted pretty fast.

All the jocks had moved on to terrorize the pack of cheerleaders stumbling in their 6 inch heels down the hall. Gotta love high school stereotypes.

I coughed awkwardly as I swivelled in the combo. I opened the door, which, naturally, wouldn't open. I yanked harder.

"Need a hand Max?" Dylan asked from his spectator position. I shook my head slightly.

"It's cool. Umm, you can go to class. I'll be done in a minute." I said as the bell started shrieking.

I wonder why I even have a boyfriend. It was w_ay_ easier when he was with Ella. Yep, my boyfriend went out with my sister. She broke it off. He nodded and started off to class.

"Don't forget your assignment that Mrs Mac assigned for today." Dylan yelled as he started off to his class. I nodded.

Well, I'm stuffed. I pounded on the door, and tried to open it. I tried it again. And again, and again. I let out a strangled scream.

Walking across the now empty hallway I stopped as far back as I could. Then, being an idiot, I sprinted foreword, left shoulder charging the front line.

I slammed into it, leaving a dent in the shape of Max's Shoulder. Ow, just, ow. I stepped back a bit. I opened the door. _Success! _I pulled out the desired textbooks, and the assignment. Putting away my beanie and scarf, I slammed it shut.

I sprinted down the hall to class. Stopping outside, I held onto the handle, and quietly pulled it down. So far so good. Back track. This is the worst teacher in the class. If you're two minutes late you get a detention.

Slipping into the class I stuck to the wall. Using book shelves towards me seat the back of the class. No one's seen me so far. Ninjaness forever! Just as I slid into my seat. Lissa spotted me. She grinned at me, and raised her perfectly manicured hand.

"Mrs Mac! Max just got here! Just thought you should know." She said at the top of her voice.

Mrs Mac turned from the board, and zeroed in on me. She then turned to Lissa.

"Miss Slut'e! I do not appreciate calling out in class. Miss Ride's tardiness is none of your business." I sniggered. She turned to me.

"Miss Ride, since this is your first offence, I will only give you a referral. Do you have any others from this term?" I nodded, and literally everyone laughed. I have a smidgen of a rep.

She sighed. "How many? Three and a detention." I held in a laugh.

"Umm. I think I have... Five?" She glared.

"Detention. After school." I nodded and turned to my desk.

_-Time skip to evening-_

"So Maximum-"

"Max." I interjected. Jebbums kept trying to convert me to his fan club. Obviously, it was a fail SNAIL!

"As I was saying, I want you to go to that party with Ella. You could make it fun. Get some dresses; get your hair and makeup done. I'm sure Ella could help with dates." I rolled my eyes. Next Jeb'll be calling it a soiree.

I stood up with my empty plate. Just for those out there who think I'm being bratty, you try living with the guy who personally makes your life a living hell.

"Do you even understand what parties are like now adays? Cause it isn't some 60's soiree." Jeb's face turned putrid. And I thought _I_ overreact!

"I am your superior! You will _not_ contradict me!" Very maturely, I poked my tongue out. Take that Jeberoo.

Angel giggled and Ella groaned. Jeb was giving me a feeble glare. The clock was still tocking and ticking. It was pretty damn annoying. Val snapped.

"Go to your room Max! I've had it up to here with your childish behaviour. Just go to your room!" And with that I stormed out. Aren't mum's meant to stick up for you?

"Well, I don't care. I don't need them or nobody else. I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, by myself. Screw them. I should really stop talking to myself. "I slammed the door shut, loudly, and stormed over to my desk.

There was a conveniently located letter, _To Max, _written on the front. Angel's pretty damn sweet. I tore open the envelope. I think this is the first time I've ever read a letter at my desk... Important milestone!

_Hey Maxie!_

_Guess we'll be rooming in prison! I get top bunk. No arguments._

_Maxie, there's a lot of things you'd believe about me. And do NOT call me Fangles. Ever._

_You know you want to compliment me. Shall I list what I've been complimented on?_

_My hair,_

_My eight packs (does your Dylie boy have eight of them? Hmm?) ,_

_My biceps/triceps,_

_My athleticalness,_

_How I...perform, _

_My 'dreamy, smouldering' eyes, _

_And my smarts. All this morning too._

_Dogs are WAY better than cats! Cats are prisses, dogs are hardcore. Well, the hardcore dogs are hardcore... And (strangely enough) I agree with the whole 'I would want to fly' thing. I think that's a first for us. _

_Little Miss Competitive are we? That's a new one. I'm being sarcastic. Thought I'd tell you. Your limited brain cells wouldn't have been able to tell._

_I hate to say, you got 100%. But it's a great style! I've been told its 'bad boy smexylicious'. You know you agree._

_Me? I'm around 6'2, nicely muscled (not a body builder), I've got brown-black eyes, shaggy black hair. Does that appease you?_

_Fang_

_Fly On._

_P.S- Care to elaborate on the disliked 'people'?_

_P.P.S- You sound pretty hot. Just saying._

I resisted the urge to crumple up the note. The nerve of him! I grabbed a biro from the stack, and a few sheets of paper and began.

_Hey FANGLES!_

_But I want the top bunk! And I will argue-_

**Chapter 9 completed! **

**Blue-Songbirds**


	10. Poo From A Gecko

**Guys Hey! (Hey Guys in Azerbaijani)**

**Yay! Fast update! Okay, I've had people asking about Faxness, it will be hinted. And there will be Fax at the end. **

**Tophwannabe- Thanks for reviewing! Sorry if Jeb's roboticness annoys you. I did it that way for a reason. He's meant to piss Max off, and Max likes people to be very real (at least, I think she would) so him being robotic would not seem real.**

**I've had heaps of people asking about them meeting (Yay for impatientness!). And I don't want to ruin the story, so, all in good time. Sorry if it annoys you.**

**Off Blast! (Blast Off in Azerbaijani)**

Chapter 10

Fang POV

"Fang! Wake up! It's the third Saturday of the month. You have to come this time. You can't avoid him forever." I picked my head off the pillow with a loud groan.

"I feel like crap! I'll come next time!" I yelled back to Mum. Dad was away god knows where. Mum was starting to sound pissed. Third Saturdays of the month always have iffy tension.

"Oh no you won't! You will come this time and that is final! You can't put it off forever." Mum replied form the other side of my door. I groaned again.

"I have a project I have to do about Max that need's starting on." I could hear mum sigh.

"Do it later! It's not all day!"

"That's what you said last time!"

"Last time you didn't come!"

"I did the time before."

"No! You haven't gone, ever."

"So!"

"Fang, he's- _Nudge! Get out of there!"_ Sighing, I fell out of bed onto the black carpet. I shot up with Ninja Fastness. Walking across the room to my closet, I tried not to let my mind wander.

When my mind wanders, it either results in... Inappropriate thoughts. Or emo thoughts that would result in mum putting me in counselling. I pulled the wooden door open and began sieving through.

No, no, no, possible, I threw a t-shirt on my bed and walked inside the closet to... _Narnia! _

Well, actually to the inside of my closet. I walked to the back, which was about three feet from the door, where the pants were located. I looked out the window that was on the wall. Blue skies and big, poofy clouds. Not really matching my mood.

Back on topic, I pulled out a pair of black board shorts. The thermometer (yep, there's one in my closet, aren't I cool?) said it was around thirty degrees. Not really black jean's weather.

I pulled off my wife beater revealing my eight pack, grabbed the pants and top. I do realise I'm over explaining myself to... myself... blame it on the date!

I crossed the hall into the now empty bathroom, which Nudge just evacuated, and turned on the shower.

At least ten minutes later I was sitting on a very uncomfortable kitchen chair, brutally attacking my cereal. I attack my breakfast brutally a lot... Basically, I'm being my very 'sullen hotmazing self'. I quote cheerleaders a lot.

Nudge was sitting uncharacteristically sullen, swishing a spoon in her cereal. Mum was missing, and dad was away. Some stock taking trip. I blame it on the date.

As I spooned a mouthful of some unknown breakfast food into my mouth, mum walked in. Her hair was perfectly straight, so it reached around her shoulders; she was wearing a plain grey V-neck with a knee length red skirt.

Nudge was in a fitted orange shirt, and knee length denim shorts. We were all in our own style of runners. I wish I could run away from this day. Nudge suddenly perked up, here comes the rambling.

"Did you know that the Parthenon is a ruin because in the Napoleon war thingy mabob, they stored bombs in it? I learnt it in a class at school. And that-"Me and mum both raised an eyebrow at each other. I went back to my cereal.

Food on spoon, spoon in mouth, jaw up, jaw down, swallow, repeat. I feel like robot. After a few 'repeats' I turned to the clock on the wall. Nudge had been rambling for a good five minutes.

"-and then there was vomit on the dog, and the camera exploded-"I don't wanna know. Mum was suddenly MIA.

I looked at Nudge. Her hair was framing her face, she was laughing to herself about some joke I've probably zoned out, and she was grinning. But there was a kind of flatness that wasn't usually there. It makes me feel like a horrible brother, so I let out a fake chuckle. Her eyes widened and she continued rambling.

I leant back in my chair and lifted my arms over my head. I plonked my shoed feet on the table, which committed a loud _thwomp. _I could practically feel Mum's glare.

I was just settling into the position when the chair lost balance, and I tumbled to the floor. Hard, and painfully.

This is usually when Nudge runs over to check I'm okay. But you know what she does? Cracks up. I pull my knees up and stagger off the ground.

"Oh Meh Gawd Fang! That was _hilarious! _I so should've caught that on camera! That just made my morning! Serious crack up. I can't believe you did that!" I had a feeling she could've gone on for a lot longer, but mum walked in, hand bag in one hand, car keys in the other.

"Car guys. We're leaving." She said loudly over my groans of pain and Nudge giggles. We both sobered up pretty fast.

It just occurred to me that I may have been being elusive over what the big deal is. All will be revealed in due time.

I grabbed my sunglasses off the kitchen table. Nudge and Mum did the same. One foot in front of the other Fangles.

Crap. I just used Maxie's new name for me. Curse that sexily sarcastic girl. I need to get her off my bloody mind. So, being me, I winked at a passing beach babe. She giggled and wiggled her fingers. I felt oddly guilty. Holding in a frown I opened the silver car door and slid in.

I just realized something. I'm stuck in a car for a half hour with _Nudge_! Well, damn. Mum and Nudge both walked out of the house with their bags and shoes on. Time for hell to begin.

Nudge walked to the front of the car opposite Mum and slid inside with much more grace than I probably had. I blame it on the Girl-Ectics.

'And then the vampire was all like 'I hate carrots!' and the worm screamed-"Mum swivelled in her driver's seat and handed me my black IPod. I jerked my head up in response as Mum slipped on her own head phones.

The sweet, sweet sound of My Chemical Romance blasted through my ears as I settled back on the car seat.

_-Time skip of approximately 30 minutes-_

"We're here guys!" Mum called over the sound of some unknown music group. I looked out of the tinted glass window to the daunting concrete sign that reads- _Florida State Prison. _ I closed my eyes and clenched my fists. Time to get this over with.

We pulled into the near empty visitors car park and I stepped out slowly. Mum came out next and Nudge third.

I started walking in the lead, my runners slapping on the concrete. Come on Fangie. You can make it without freaking out at him or having a Mini Mental Meltdown tm .

I stopped at the sliding doors and waited in the heat for Mum and Nudge. The building was big, boring, and grey. There was a stone wall all around it with barb wire on the top. Lovely.

They caught up and we walked into the overly air conditioned lobby. I shivered with the sudden chill. Mum left me and Nudge at the door while she went and signed us in at the receptionist.

The lady was young, a few years older than maybe? Nudge looked at me with big round eyes. She's scared. I pull her in under my arm.

"Fang, Nudge, come on. He's in the waiting room." I can hear the strain in her voice. I let go of Nudge. As I walk across the room, the receptionist winks at me.

She's pretty hot. Long blonde hair, big blue eyes, milky skin, her name tag said Lillie. But I don't have the usual attraction.

A part of me, in the cold depths of my mind, wanted her to have browner hair, brown eyes, and her name tag to say Max.

I've got to get Max out of my head. Anyhoo, we walked down the long hallway with endless doors leading off. At the very end was a bigger door. We walked through it single file.

Inside was a set up like the ones in the movies. Phone booths and seats on one side, the prisoners on the other. We walked past sobbing moms, screaming fests, and prison guards pulling pissed off prisoners back to their cells, until we reached the very end of the room.

Tucked away at the end was a burly guy with a dagger tattoo on his bare bicep. He had a buzz cut and was kitted out in a neon orange jumpsuit with 2695 on the left breast pocket. His eyes are dark brown.

He's my older brother, Gozen.

"Hey Nudgie-Pie, Fang. How ya been Maw?" He asked in a friendly voice that had developed a slight Texas twang.

None of us spoke for a second or two. Gozen's in the slammer for physical assault. 20 years sentence. He's been here for about 7.

Nudge broke the silence. She plopped down in the padded chair.

"Hey Gozen! How's life? I'm loving school at the moment. Fang's got a pen pal. A girl who he really likes, Max. Mum's been being Mum. Dad's doing a stock take somewhere so he couldn't make it. Have you made any friends? Is the food any better than last month?" She trailed off for Gozen to talk.

"Well, life's been decent. I'm still alive at least. I'm glad you like school. Make sure you stay in it though. I'm sure Fangie will be very happy with this Max chick. It's a shame about Dad, It's not his fault. No friends yet. The food is horrible. So, Fang, tell me about this Max slut." I glared at him.

"Don't." I muttered. He raised one eyebrow.

"Don't what _Fang?_" He said in a patronizing tone.

"Don't call Max a slut. Or a chick." I said clearer and louder this time.

"And why shouldn't I?" He said with a glare.

"Because, she's better than that." I said stepping forward.

"If she likes you, then she must not be."

Mum intervened.

"Boys! Cut it out! Now! Gozen. It was lovely to see you, and we'll come next month, but I think we'd better leave now. I'll call you tomorrow." And with that, the non jailed part of the Jones family left the building.

_-Time skip to evening-_

The party I had intended to attend, had been called off due to the dudes parents coming home early. So I was reading Maxie's letter.

_Hey FANGLES!_

_But I want the top bunk! And I will argue to the death! I_

_And HAH! I shall now refer to you as Fangles. Forever and ever and ever and ever etc. So BAM! Take that Fangles._

_So, as to your list on good physical traits. Shall I do a running commentary? Well HAH! I will anyway._

_My hair,(which would be better bubblegum pink...)_

_My eight packs (does your Dylie boy have eight of them? Hmm?) , (Yes, he does, for that matter)_

_My biceps/triceps (hah! You bloody wish!)_

_My athleticalness,(Fangles, failing at hotness and coolness in NOT a sport. Sorry)_

_How I...perform, (Hah! I bet you slipped said person roofin)_

_My 'dreamy, smouldering' eyes, (about as 'dreamy and smouldering' as a pet gecko poo)_

_And my smarts. (About as smart as afore mentioned pet gecko poo) All this morning too._

_You forgot to ask a question! I'll ask two for you. You're TERRIBLE at his game._

_What Harry Potter house do you think you'd be in? I'd so be a Gryffindor. _

_Day or night? Day. It's easier to see in the day. And if I can see, I can punch. It's simple logic really. _

_By the way (or as my sister says, BTW) that's the only time I'll be doing anything for you. I'm blimmin lovely like that._

_Ah Boo Yeh! I won Little Miss Competitive in every year book so far. I'm also being sarcastic. Just in case you're limited brain cells wouldn't be able to tell. _

_Lots of fake love_

_Max_

_P.S- No I don't care to elaborate on 'disliked' people. _

_P.P.S- Piss off dipBEEP! Yep, I did just BEEP. I'm that fricking awesome._

Ahhh, doesn't Max just put a sarcastic smile on people's faces? I picked up my pre assembled paper and pen.

_Hey Maxie-kins._

_What do you think of your nickname I quite like it... Not that I care-_

**First question! Just picks one of the ones Max asks and answer it. Simple.**

**Until next time!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	11. Red Plastic Cups

**Merhaba! (Hello! In Turkish.)**

**I'm running out of languages here people! Feel free to give me ideas! (I'll give you language credit).**

**Okay, shout out! To Timmons1998 who emailed me to update AND BLEW MY EARDRUMS OUT WITH ALL THE CAPS! Read her story, it's really good.**

**I felt like being evil in this one. You'll understand what I mean.**

**On bölümle! (On with the chapter! In Turkish)**

"Max! Get in the bloody car!"

"Not on my Saturday!"

"Dad says you got to!"

"Jeb says a lot of things."

"Maximum! Get in that car this instance!" Ahhh, don't you just _love_ family Saturdays? The ones where everybody's home, including the parentels who take such joy in breathing down your neck?

Yeh, didn't think so. Anyway, Ella was trying (with Jeberoos help) to get me into the car to go to the mall. Yes, the place of hot dudes and shopping for the average teenager, but for me? Pure and simple torture.

This is pretty usual for this house. At least, 6 months of the year. And do I despise those 6 months with a vengeance. So, anyway, I wouldn't get into the car, they were mad. Then Ange jumps in.

"Maxie? Could you get me a new teddy? Maggie got a new one, and I really want one. Because then we have equal amount. I learnt that in math yesterday." She rambled of, looking at me with expectant eyes.

Sighing I walked back into the house. Grabbing my bag (wallet included) I walked back into the strangely sunny driveway. Ella grinned, and Jeb put his hand on my shoulder as I walked past. He pulled me back.

"I've got my eye on you." He whispered, grin placed on his wrinkled face for Ella and Ange. I narrowed my brown eyes followed by my trade mark smirk.

"And me you." I muttered before roughly pushing past him. Game on.

Ella gave me a scrutinising look before she just sighed.

I was in knee length, worn out denim shorts, a plain black tank top with a grey backpack held together by silver duct tape. I rolled my eyes as the car started.

_She _was in very short shorts made from navy denim, a white off the shoulder top with a tight waist and a _plunging _neckline that plunged very far. Paired off with wedges.

I'm ashamed to be related to her. I'm sure the feelings mutual.

The awkward silence started getting to me. So I used my initiative and turned on the radio. Some random song blasted through. I hated it. I turned it off. And we kept driving. In the end I started humming.

"Maximum! Shut up!" She shouted with irritation. I turned to the side mirror, tongue poked out. Suddenly I saw a looming building. Judging by Ella's grin- The Rides Have Entered the Building.

"She pulled off the busy highway to a less busy side road. A few minutes of cars and tarmac later, we pulled into a multi story car park.

We both leant forward to spot a space. Man! It's packed today! Full, full, empty! We both spotted the spot at the same time.

Ella skidded the car into the spot and we both picked up our luggage. The door slammed open and we got out. Time to get this show on the road.

_-Time Skip for a good few hours-_

"No, I am NOT wearing that!"

"Please Maxie?"

"I am not wearing that rag!" The shop assistant glared at me from the counter. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to Ella. She had some skimpy dress shoved at my face.

It was pink, and flowy, and short. Obscenely short.

I shook my head for the millionth time and grabbed her tiny wrist. I dragged her across to a neighbouring shop. We stopped at the display.

It featured a pair of electric blue skinny jeans. I turned to her.

"I want those." We walked to the neighbouring display. It had a loose black top with 9¾ written on the front in a circle.

"And that." I stated pointing. She knew my size. She sighed but nodded.

"I have converse." She turned to face me. She wore an evil grin of the Ella kind.

"No. We're getting your heels from my choice of shop. That's final!"

"But-"she smothered my mouth with one hand while using the other one to drag me to a very girly looking shop.

We crossed the barrier and I was in girl land. Girl land scares me.

Ella squealed as she spotted some of her cheerleading buddies. She rush over, me in tow. One was a red head, a black one, and like, three blondes. Kill me now.

"Hey guys! Can you help me find Max here some heels that go with electric blue skinnies and a black top?" And I thought I over explain. They squealed in response. Really?

"OMG! Totes! That would be fantastical on the funnosity scale!" All five said in sync. Creepy.

They dragged me over to the shoe isle and began scouring for, in their words, 'the most fantastically smexylicious pair of heels ever invented'. Yeh, I hate girl world.

They all suddenly screamed (strangely the assistant only glared at me) at something they found. I'm ashamed of Ella.

They all ran over holding a pair of blue, very strappy, very high heels. I raised an eyebrow at their expectant faces. Sitting down on a nearby bench I slid off my converse. They groaned at my mismatched socks.

I took the offending heels from Ella's outstretched hand as I pulled off my socks. Slipping them on I did up the slim straps and stood up.

They all jumped up and down. I was towering over them due to the whole heel being at least 4 inches big. Ella pushed me back into the seat and took them off my feet. Red head started talking.

"Totally. They are PERFECT!" All the others nodded.

"Max! Gimme your wallet." Ella commanded. Manicured hand outstretched.

"Umm! No! Pay for them yourself. I'll be giving them to you after anyway." I said annoyed. I'm not paying for _these. _

"Fine." She muttered. I smirked as her friends fanned away. Phones glued to their ears. How much more cliché teenage girl could you get?

I followed her to the counter. She paid. We left. End of story.

_-Time Skip to Evening-_

"Max! We're leaving now!" I groaned as I got off my feet. I stopped at the mirror to give myself a once over.

The jeans were pretty comfortable. Same for the top. Ella had made me get rid of the backpack. The heels were bearable. But I hated them with a vengeance. La-Dee-Dah. Mum had made me let Ella do my hair and make-up.

My hair was lightly curled, pulled back in a high ponytail, a few chunks left loose. She had done a 'smoky eye' with kind of darkish red lips. Basically, I felt like a Barbie.

I clonked down the stairs to the living room. Ella had a glittery, layered mini skirt, high high heels, a black singlet tucked in, and a yellow clutch thingy. She gave me a satisfied smirk and walked out.

Angel sprinted over. She wrapped me up in a big hug.

"Have fun Maxie! We're watching a DVD while you're gone!" She said grinning. I ruffled her hair.

"Don't have too much fun without me!" I said laughing.

She shook her head solemnly. And I busted out laughing again. I handed her a white angel teddy from the mall. She squealed and ran off to show Val.

I strolled out the door to my car. I opened the driving door. Where Ella was sitting.

"Move." I ordered. She rolled her eyes, but shifted to the passenger seat.

I slid in and started the car.

The car rumbled to life and we were off.

"No Max! That way!" Ella yelled as I pulled off left. Grumbling I did a U turn.

_-Time Skip of 20 or so Minutes-_

"This one?" I asked sarcastically. I pulled in as Ella nodded. It was pretty obvious, due to the dozens of cars, and hundreds of teens loitering outside. Not to mention the thudding music.

I stepped out of the car in sync with Ella. She jogged off to her waving friends. Effectively leaving me alone.

With nothing else to do I wandered inside. It's a sardine tank in here. I stepped into a corner of the room. Some drunk guy came stumbling up. He handed me a red cup of liquor.

As he stumbled off I placed it on a table. I'm not getting pissed at some party. I could see Ella by the drinks table. She better not get drunk.

People yelling, people jumping, random crappy music, the stench of alcohol. This is why I don't go out.

Someone threw their arm over my shoulder. I threw it off. Turning around, I saw a drunk... Dylan? I frowned.

"Dylan!" I yelled over the music.

"Huh! Oh, hey Maxie poops!" He slurred. I saw red. Breathing in I pushed him away. He fell over rather comedically. I turned in disgust. Only to slam into a white chest. I stepped back angrily.

"Whoa dudette! Chill! I'm Iggy." He said. Arm's up in surrender. I glared, and looked behind him. Dylan was staggering up towards me.

'Iggy' turned and saw him. He looped his arm in mine and took off outside.

"So, I'm here with a mate. And you are?" I heard him yell over the music.

"None of your bloody business!" I said annoyed. Iggy grinned. That name sounds really familiar.

"You should meet my very emo friend. I'll go get him. Or do you want to help me find him?" He asked.

I zeroed in on a drunk Ella flirting with some 20 odd dude. Guess we're leaving.

'I'm leaving. Terrifically nice to meet you Iggy." I muttered sarcastically as I walked off.

"Ella. We're going!" I yelled over the music. Now Justin Bieber or something.

"No Max! Meet Jake. I'm going home with him!" She slurred. I grabbed her arm. The dude grabbed her as well.

How dare he take advantage of my little sister? The dude got up with a grin. I glared at him.

"Hey girlie! You wanna come with us?"

I snapped! Okay? So, I punched that blimmin perv square in the jaw. My fist made contact with a satisfying 'crunch'. Blood spurts out dramatically.

He groaned, but straightened too fast for my liking. He grinned, letting go of Ella's wrist. Before I could react he threw a right hook to my jaw.

My head swung and I saw red. I breathed in deep. I kicked him in the groin, elbowed his jaw hard, and finished it off by boxing his ears. I jumped back. He paused for a second before crumpling.

In the corner I could see Iggy start to run up. That little distraction was my down fall.

Jake got up, and threw a punch to my eye. I stood stunned as the pain ripped through my face. Intensifying my glare, I looked at his smug chuckling. Formulating a plan.

With ninja like speed I did a mutant strong roundhouse kick to his ribs. I could hear a few cracks. Tackling him to the ground I sat on top of him. I punched him many, many times. I couldn't think clearly.

Suddenly, Ella's scream rips through my ears. I stop. Closing my eyes I jump up gracefully. Slinking past the crowds of people watching me, some in awe. But not many.

I grabbed Ella and we walked out to my car. I ordered her to get in while I went back to get her clutch. I'm _not_ letting her go back in there.

I crossed the littered front yard. Have fun clearing that up. I swung open the door. The partying had resumed strangely quickly.

I spotter it on a couch. Just as I grabbed it, someone shook my shoulder. Spinning around, I sighed when I saw it was just Iggy.

"I found my friend! You kicked that dude's ass! Oh no! Emo friends gone!" He yelled. I opened my mouth to tell him to shove off.

"I'll meet you at your car with him! Your soul mates!"He ran off again. Strange boy. Wonder why I've never seen him before.

I walked back to the car, got in and peeled out of there with a drunk Ella. I checked the rear view mirror as we turned off. Iggy was pulling some guy clad in black; we were too far away to see their faces.

_-20 minute Time Skip-_

We pulled in and Jeb ran out. Looking pissed. I checked my watch. Crap, 1am. I shot out of the car and went to the side to get Ella out. Jeb beat me there.

"Max! How could you let your sister get into this state? It was your responsibility as the eldest, to stop her getting in harm's way. Do you understand?" He barked.

"No! She's not a baby anymore! She has a mind of her own! And I do more for her than you realise!" I yelled back, storming inside to my bedroom. Pulling open the door I spotted a letter on my bed. I picked it up and began reading.

_Hey Maxie-Kins!_

_What do you think of your nickname? Not that I care. I'm using it anyway._

_Nope! I claimed the top bunk first! It's all mine, precious. _

_Don't you DARE call me Fangles Maxie-Kins. It's disrespectful to your elders! I think I'm older... I'm more mature anyway._

_Really Max? Not past pointless lies and sarcasm yet? I'm ashamed to call myself your pen-pal. Now, as payback, I ORDER you to give me your list. Mwahahaha! _

_Wow I'm hyper. Blame it on the imaginary candy._

_I won Little Mr Sexy. Well, I won it at 17. Otherwise, that'd be creepy... Almost Barbie creepy... _

_I bet you played with Babies as a wee munchkin. _

_Well Hah! You forgot his time. We're terrible at this game._

_Ever been in trouble with the law? I kind of have... I was sued, almost. _

_Describe the person you'd love to murder, brutally. A lot of the time it's my mate. Tall, pale blue eyes, pale spiky hair, wears pale colours. My polar opposite._

_Fang_

_Fly On_

_P.S- Why do we keep doing P.S's? _

_P.P.S- Language Maxie-Kins! Even if you did go to the trouble of 'Beeping'._

I chuckled and started to find a pen and paper. Under my bed they were, Yoda Voice!

_Hey Fangles!_

_WOW! So Original-_

**Okay, to answer the last question, I say I'm a Ravenclaw, but I asked my sister and mum and other people and they say I'm a Gryffindor... I prefer night.**

**And a question... What are you deathly afraid of?**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	12. Teenage Rebels

**Pozdrav! (Hello! In Croatian.) **

**Before you hit me with flying chairs! I had a writer's block! **

**Sasha! I don't care if you don't want one, but you're getting a Birthday SHOUTOUT! Not sure if Georgia's on FF, but say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HER AS WELL! Hope you're enjoying Auzzie... Steph and Al and Dan all say happy birthday too!**

**Na s tobom poglavlje! (Read thee chapter! In Croatian.) **

"Please?"

"No. Way. In. Hell!"

"Purlease Fang! You have to!"

"Says who?"

"Me idiot!"

"I am _not _driving across two states to see your _Grandma _on a bloody Saturday! "

"Please Fangie?" I sighed.

"If I say yes, _if, _will you shut up?" What am I doing?

"Yes Fangums! I promise to shut up and to love you forever and ever!" Groaning, I mumble.

"Fine, I'll go see your psychotic Gran in New York. But, cancel the love thing." Iggy squeals with inhuman volume. Sometimes, that boy scares me.

"Eeeeeek! Be ready in an hour love!" Iggy ran off to go pack or something.

Just to explain, I got home from the prison, open my bedroom door, and Iggy's sitting at my desk, on my computer, watching farting cats on YouTube. Yep. Cat's farting.

He then started rambling too fast for me to understand. I tell him, he slows down yada yada. So then he goes on about me going to somewhere in New York to see his granny. I say no. And now you're up to speed.

Joy.

We're leaving in an hour, apparently. I stomp down the stairs to go tell Mum that I'm going away for a day or two. I open the kitchen door.

"Mum." I call over the clattering of dishes. She looks up, slight smile placed on a space above her chin.

"What Nick? I'm a bit busy over here!"

"It's Fang." I mutter, she can't hear, shame.

"Speak up! I'm having a... Day."

"I'm going to go to New York for a day of two with Iggy. We're staying at his Grannies." I paused, began to run upstairs, but she began to talk.

"No you're not. You're staying at home this weekend." What! No way in hell.

"I promised Iggy. You tell me not to break promises."

"You also have to do what I say."

"Mum! I'm almost eighteen! I'm not a little kid anymore."

"No, but you live in my house, you follow my rules." I held back a glare.

"Mum, you're not being fair." Using up my word limit here!

"I don't give a damn Fang! I've had it up to here with you and your sister! Just go to your room and leave me in peace." I back out of the room. Stay home my ass.

_-Time skip to early evening-_

I throw my duffel bag out of the window. I hear Iggy give a faint 'oof' as he catches it from his hiding spot in the bushes.

Running across to the bedroom door, I hear Mum coming up the steps. I pop my head out to the hallway.

"Mum! I'm going to bed early. I'm tired." She nods and walks off to go be 'proactive'. Too easy.

Yes! I'm sneaking out! Yes! I'm a horrible child! Do I give a damn? Well, I feel a bit guilty, but that's easily pushed out of my head. Dad's still away. He practically don't exist.

Feeling much like Harry Potter, I pull the window open as much as it goes. Looking around, I sit on the ledge.

Pushing myself out, I sail for a good two seconds. Oops, kind of forgot the whole 'two storey' part of this house...

Anyway, I picked myself off the ground, brushed myself off and began to walk over to Iggy's car. Which was parked two streets away. He really loves to act all incognito.

Step, step, step, step. There's that idiots car. Opening the white door I plop into it.

"Just get moving you Eggiot." I mutter loud enough for him to hear. Marathon car ride here I come!

_-Time Skip to part in New York-_

"Come on little man! Just a few rounds of spin the... Spin the uhhh." I groaned as yet another drunkard was drunk. Shoving him off me he slumped on the floor. I should've known Iggy would rope me into a party.

"Hey hun! You must not be from around here. I'm Lissa, pleased to meet you." Some girl purred. I turn around to face a very slutty looking girl. Fun!

Her hair is pin straight, very red, and reaches her shoulders. She's wearing a low cut, very short, very, very tight, black lace dress. Her heals are a good six inches, and I can't tell what her face looks like due to all the makeup.

I raised an eyebrow. Is it too hard for a girl of my standards to come along?

I mean! Seriously! My last action was three days ago with some cheerleader. And that was only because she jumped me.

And Max calls me a player, I could become a monk.

I smirked at her frown due to lack of response. I guess she's one of 'those' girls.

I am seriously bored.

"So? What's your name?" She asks brightly. Meh, never going to meet her again.

"Fang. Get lost." I mutter over the music. She hears and grins a scary grin.

Without warning I'm pushed up against the wall, her sticky lips smooshed against mine, and I freeze.

I freaking freeze.

Who knew cheerleading could make girls so strong? I gather she's a cheerleader by the people she hung out with earlier.

While I'm musing to myself, she's hitched up on my hips. Guess I instinctively stopped her falling. One by one, by senses come back.

She smells gross. Perfume, I _hate _perfume.

Her lips taste of some gross fruity lip gloss.

Her dress is really scratchy.

Her makeup is coming off like a mask.

People are wolf whistling.

In a very ungentmenly way, that my mum would slap me round the back of my head for, I shoved her off me and onto the carpeted floor.

She up righted herself, wobbling a bit on her shoes, and let out an outraged shriek. Woops.

"Oh well hunny! Imma assume that was an accident. Because nobody rejects me." She starts off sweet and ended steely. Bi polar much?

"Get used to it." I say, walking off. I hear her stomping her foot.

Passing many teen making out, I finally stop at the drinks table in my search for Iggy. I want to get the hell out of here. Claustrophobia here!

A guy with blonde hair ran up.

"Dude! Epic fight going on with Max and some guy! You gotta see bro!" he yelled/slurred before stumbling off.

I followed, and saw a head of blonde hair crouched over a twenty odd something beating the living day lights out of him.

Just as he was turning around, Iggy grabbed my shoulder.

"Fang! I met a girl, perfect for you! Come on and help me find her!" He squealed in the most sober voice I've hear all night.

"We're leaving. Now." I state, grabbing his fore arm and dragging him to the car.

"Wait! Give me a few minutes to find the girlio. Then, we can leave." He says before running off.

I waited in the car. As I settled in, Iggy poked his squished up face into the window. I sighed, and got out of the car.

Iggy wordlessly took me to the cars. He spotted one pulling out. Grabbing my arm, he began sprinting.

"Must. Get. Them." He muttered repetitively. My legs pumped to keep up. Iggy's fast!

As we stopped by a tree, the car was out of sight. I swiped my hair out of my eyes as Iggy slumped against afore mentioned tree. Well that was weird.

"Come on bro. Let's get back to your Gram's.

_-Time Skip to next day-_

"I'm sorry! But I'm not a little kid anymore. Yeh, Iggy's Gran is really nice. Yes Mum! I'm fine! I'll call tomorrow. Bye, love you." I say as I hang up.

Iggy comes in wearing a pair of jeans and a button up shirt, mines a black t-shirt.

"Fang! Mail. I picked it up from your house when we left." He sings before Frisbee throwing me a letter.

I stomp up the stairs to the guest bedroom. Tearing open the letter as I go. I ignore the giddy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

_Hey Fangles!_

_I don't give a damn what you call me. I don't care what you think of me either. I'm sick to freaking death of people judging me. _

_Fine, but expect to be murdered in you're stupid, perverted, little dreams._

_I checked you're records. I'm three months older. Take that sucker! Now you can't hold anything over me! _

_My list eh? Getting a bit personal Fangles aint we? But, oh well._

_Apparently, my boobs._

_My boyfriend._

_My round house, right hook, punch, groin kick etc._

_My witty comments._

_My athelticalness (another depressing thing we have in common._

_My smarts._

_And my kickass death glare, all this hour too!_

_I'm going to ignore you dissing cats. For your sake, be blimmin glad._

_You know? I'm trying to reply to all the parts of your reply, but most aren't interesting enough. _

_Just a quick one off apology, I (cough cough) apologize for bitchy behaviour. Head a rough night. MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! Got into a fight. Won, didn't get any parenting credit. Now I'm blimmin venting._

_You honestly think you're bringing sexy back? Sorry, but Neville already got that one covered in the newest Harry Potter movie. Sorry to burst your fragile little bubble._

_I did, they were my murder victims. None have heads remaining. It annoys my Mother Dearest (Val). _

_Law? Hell yeah! Almost had to serve time._

_I was walking my littlest sister home from the movies, and some bastards tried to hurt her. Let's just say... They're still in the hospital (it was a year ago). _

_Most want to kill? At the momento? Jebsie. He's my 'Dad'. _

_Salt and pepper hair, beer gut. Short. Nothing special. Has an ability for making me want to brutally murder him. _

_My question..._

_Who's the weirdest person you know? I don't have any friends so it's redundant. Never mind!_

_Lots of fake love, _

_Max. _

_P.S- Maybe because we're awesome? Duh Fangles!_

_P.P.S- Any sarcastic thing for you dearie!_

I grinned as I finished the letter. I got up from the plain white twin bed I had sat on; I rummaged through my backpack for a pen and paper. I came out empty.

Frowning, I walked to Iggy's. I chuckled as I pulled them out. Gotta love that Eggiot.

I picked up an old gardening book to lean on, and began penning my dynamic reply.

_To dearest, loveliest Maxie-Kins._

_Smidgen touchy aren't we?_

**Hmm, I'm not 'deathly' afraid of anything...Maybe somebody I care about being hurt? I'm claustrophobic...**

**New question! Describe the person you'd love to kill or hurt painfully!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	13. Max The Gingerbread Woman

**Hey Guy's! (Hey Guys! In Maltese.)**

**Right, let's get this over with. I couldn't update last week. First two days of the week I had things after school. Next two, we had a big school show with night/day shows. Friday Internet was down. Then in the weekend I had a party (shout out in last chappie). **

**Anyway. A pretty long chapter has arrived. It was going to be a lot shorter, but I got on a roll. Call it sucking up to you guys for not updating **

**Fuq il-kapitolu! (On with the chapter! In Maltese.)**

"Sunday Maxie! Mummy told me to wake you up!"

I groaned as Ange pounded her tiny pale fists on my locked bedroom door. Stupid Ella and her stupid party.

"Tell Val to go to Hades!" I yelled, taking out the choice words for Angels benefit. Gotta keep her innocent mind...Innocent.

She giggled loudly and sprinted away. Peace at bloody last.

I sighed and threw off the duvet. Pulling down my riding up tank top I stumbled over to the near empty closet of mine.

Crap. I see shopping in my future.

"It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll. But listen closely. Not for very much longer. I've got to keep con-"

"Maxine Ride! Shut your trap and get dressed."

"It's Maximum Jebbiot!"

If it wasn't for Ange, I woulda moved out forever and a day ago.

Shrugging off the top and sweats, I pulled on a very boring top, and black, shredded Capri's. The fabrics swished against me as I slammed open the bedroom door and left the building.

Well, my bedroom. And I walked down the hall to the bathroom...

_-Time Skip-_

"So, I'm meeting you at the park?"

"Yeh. See you there in a half hour?"

"Don't see why not..."

Dylan hung up on me. The nerve.

"Max! I'm dressing you up!" Ella demanded from by my shoulder.

My eyes narrowed dangerously. Silly, silly girl. My stomach bubbled as I realised why.

"No. You're not. I bet you aint even told Jeb what happened last night. You little co-"

"Maxie! Language!" Angel called from the kitchen.

Ella was now glaring at me. She has no right. Before I did something drastic, I stormed out.

Stomping up the steps to my bedroom, I slammed the door open. Picking up a pair of sunglasses, my wallet, and trusty black leather jacket (placed at the end of my unmade bed).

Throwing some essentials in a back pack I stormed out the house quite dramatically.

_-Time Skip-_

I sat on the ground, up against the crème concrete wall, I pod plugged in. My foot was tapping away quite spastically.

Well, until a muscled and tanned hand, attached to a crouching figure, held them in place.

I looked up only to see a familiar pair of Caribbean blue eyes. I gave a smile. Let's get this show on the road.

I lifted an arm, which he pulled me up by. Putting an arm around me, I leant into his shoulder. I didn't really fit... Anyway, we started walking along the track.

"So Dylan, where exactly are we heading?" He chuckled at me. Oy Dilly!

"We are having a picnic in a park!" He stated with a grin.

My eyes lit up. A park! I aint been to one of those without Angel in Hades knows how long! Dylan laughed again, relied with a smirk from moi.

He revealed a medium sized backpack from behind his staunch back.

Grinning at each other like iddy biddy little kids, he raised an eyebrow.

"Race you there!" He yells before taking off at break neck speed.

In no time my long legs are pounding on the uneven gravel as I attempted to catch up with him.

So close... His figure was suddenly up close and personal as caught up with him. Take that!

Just as I was over taking him, he spotted me in the corner of his eyes and went even harder.

Chivalry is so dead.

But the thing is, footballers sprint, I have that whole stamina thing going on.

He was hard out panting by this time. I slowed down to Dylan's speed. He flicked his eyes to the backpack now on his back. I noticed that the scenery had changed quite drastically. Very green and leafy as we hard out sprinted.

Oops, back on topic Max. Ummm, back pack, right.

He must be claiming that it's slowing him down. The nerve. This running thing is far too easy. I should try out for track.

My legs were beginning to yell swear words at me. Breath coming in short pants. But hey! I was in better shape that Dyl who was an unattractive shade of puce.

Suddenly he grabbed me around the waist and we both tumbled to the ground. Almost in slow mo.

Guess we arrived.

I shot up funnily fast. I turned at Dylan and glare my little heart out. And watcha know? He winced. Point for me!

Scary thought! Maybe I am as immature as Fangs says!

Nah.

I awkwardly cough as realise we've just been staring at our (very pretty) surroundings. Dyl really went all out location wise.

Big, towering trees (very unusual for this area. Guess we thank the... Government for a huge ass park?) And even an iddy biddy pond. Best of all, it was completely empty.

A slight rustling catches my attention.

"Just getting up Max." Dylan reassures me and he pulls out a checked blanket and Tupperware boxes.

"Gotcha." I mutter awkwardly.

Without noticing, I look up and realise I've wandered off. Mental blip alert!

Trees, tree's and more tree's! Spinning in a fast circle I feel my arms get thrown out. A giggle rips out as the world becomes a green blue.

Wait! I'm Maximum Ride, hardass extradoinare, spinning in a park.

Oh hell no! Just before I pull a Dobby (punish myself) a familiar voice echoes.

"Max! Come here! Let's eat!"

"Coming!" I boom.

Legs pumping, I sprint the surprisingly long distance to the majorly yummy looking picnic. Long sentence alert!

I slam through the trees, only to bump into Dylan. Literally.

"Whoa Maxie!" He chuckled, spinning me around.

I admit, I laughed as he sat me down carefully.

"You are so trying to make up for that rolley polley gig of yours." I say with a smirk.

"Nuh uh! Am not!" I groan at his immaturity.

"Lunch my lady?" Dylan announces, trying a different tactic. What the hell?

"Of course sir, I am simply... Ravished!" I say with a new, warmer, smirk.

Dylan grins back and we sit on the cliché, red and white checked blanket thing. I raise an eyebrow at him, which he returns with a grin as he rummages through the pale wooden picnic basket.

"Soooo..." I was never good at small talk.

"Soooo... Prom in a few months..." Dylan replies just as awkwardly.

"A bit more than a few!"

"True. Well, I have potatoes salad, chicken, meat balls, pizza bread and cupcakes." He states proudly.

"Everything please!" I say, as he chuckles. I look up to find that he gathered what I was going to say, and already made up my plate. Gotta love him. He sorted his own plate, crossed his legs and turned to face me.

"So, what's the deal with Jeb?" He asks with curiosity evident in his voice. I let a small groan slip out. Woops.

"Same old, same old. Went to a party, got in a messy situation and then Jeb rats on me because Ella got her sorry ass drunk. I got in a fight over some silly word. It's just wearing me down." I say. Dylan is listening attentively. I tuck into my food. Soooo good!

"Tell you what. How about this. You, me and my aunts place in Florida sometime this semester?" He asks. A grin slips out.

"Definitely." I say. He grins back and we both tuck into our food.

_-Time skip to evening-_

"We should get home..." I say with a slight yawn. I'm nestled into his chest and we stare up at the stars. If I had been anybody else watching, everything would be vomit covered. _I'm _trying not to vomit.

But hey! Dylan made all that great food, he found a place, and got my sorry ass over here. I can at least give him some of my time!

Whoops thinking to myself again. I blame the over mushiness of the situation. Wait... Is Dylan talking? Probably should zone back in.

"-Do this again." He says, looking at me with expectant blue eyes.

I nod awkwardly. Imma assume I've been pencilled in for another picnic in the park.

He smiles and get up. He towers over my thinking frame. I guess. I look at his outstretched hand with my suspicious brown eyes.

"Just trying to help you up." He says sighing. I grin a bit, and let him help me up.

_-Time Skip-_

"So, Maximum. Where were you today?" Jeb asks, his eyes taking a suspicious turn.

Is it impossible for one, stress free dinner?

"Well?" I guess not.

"Hanging out in a park with Dylan." I mutter.

"Did you ask me permission?" He replies.

"Ummm, no." I say confused as I put a swirl of pasta into my mouth.

"Well, I guess I have no choice but to ground you." He says in a fake reasonable voice. I push my chair over. I've had it! I've bloody had it.

"What the hell! What unreasonable, untrue, piece of crap, do you believe that makes you think you think you have any right to ground me?" I scream fuming.

"Maximum Ride. You will not use that disrespectful tone on me. Your mother and I are grounding you for a fortnight. Now, please continue with your meal." He says in a fake calm tone. Everything about this bastard is fake.

I turn to face Val. She's been silent this whole time. Traitor.

"Is it true? Do _you _and Jeb ground me? Or is it just _Jeb? _Why you ever married that bastard is beyond me. He controls you. He ruined our lives. I'm surprised I'm still here!" I yelled.

Val just kept eating her bloody pasta. So I pulled a Max and stormed the hell out of there. Gotta love life.

I stomped outside to the pitch blackness. Popping my knuckles, I plugged in my I-pod. And ran.

My legs pumped faster than they ever have before. My eyes narrowed as music flooded, transforming into pure, liquid adrenalin.

My mouth slowly softening from a solid line to a wicked grin. I'd like to see Jeb take me now.

The world whipped me by like a rollercoaster. Tarmac left shredded under my feet. I could keep going forever. I could. I actually could.

But what about Angel? Dylan? Angel would miss me. Definitely. Dylan would get over it.

No. Just keep going Max. Keep going. Going and going. The world is at your fingers. Why would you go back to that hell hole?

Angel.

Angel also has Ella. Ella has Val. Val has Jeb. I have nobody.

Run. Run. And keep running.

Angel would be heartbroken.

I skid to a stop. The neighbourhood is far from sight.

Heartbroken.

I'm _not _letting anybody hurt her. Much less do it myself.

So I turn around. And go back with renewed focus.

I can take Jeb. He's no match. I'm Maximum Ride. I'm invincible. I can take the world and anybody on it.

I'm untouchable.

I'm invincible.

I'm Maximum bloody Ride.

_-Time Skip-_

I raise an eyebrow as I pull the latest letter from the envelope.

_To dearest, loveliest Maxie-Kins._

_Smidgen touchy aren't we? I'm not going to argue, because I have a feeling you'd rip my head straight off my neck. Is my hunch correct? Of course it is. I'm always right._

_Can't hold anything over your pretty little blonde head? Well, we'll have to see about that. Let's see... You went through my files that means you're interested in me. Your immature, you never talk about your boyfriend which signals it aint all roses. I'll add to the list another time._

_Hah! Now I get to have a sardonic take on your list. And it's not personal. It's revenge._

_Apparently, my boobs. (I've gotta see them to believe it Maxie dearest),_

_My boyfriend. (Read above paragraph. Yep, no laziness for you. You gotta refer to the last one!)._

_My round house, right hook, punch, groin kick etc. (aggressive little devil aren't we? Bet you could never take me. I'm that bloody awesome.) _

_My witty comments. (They don't rival mine. And they count as immature. Not witty. Wit takes brains. Catch my drift?)_

_My athelticalness (another depressing thing we have in common.) (It's not depressing if you noted it.)_

_My smarts. (*cough in your dreams cough*)_

_And my kickass death glare, (I guess I'll give you that one). All this hour too! (Little Maxie can tell the team! Wow!). That was fun!_

_You apologized. I'm going to die of shock. _

_I'm a bit worried about those poor guys in hospital. Wait? They tried to hurt your sister. Scratch that. They should be dead. _

_My question. Hmmm... If you were stuck in an elevator for six hours who would you want with you? Me personally? That Einstein guy. I figure he could work out how to get us out of there._

_Daddy dramas? Answering your question... My mate. See last letter for description. He's a mix of immaturity, pevertedness, and all around strangeness._

_Fang_

_Fly On._

_P.S- I'm awesome. Not you. Get it right._

_P.P.S- Not going to reply to that. _

**Last chapter's question... It depends on the day. Probably my sister's psychotic cat who enjoys drawing my blood.**

**New question! Dream date? (How it goes, not who with).**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	14. Awkaward Granny

**Hey Guys! (Hey Guys! In Lithuanian.)**

**I know! I know! Anyway! Shoutouts!**

**First, to Timmons1998! Flying Blue- D'awwwww! That means so much to me!  
>Wolf Warrior 1012- Thanks! It's my first for sure.<br>NHquae Waters- Really? That's huge to me!**

**Okay, so for those who have read The Hunger Games, go on YouTube and listen to Who am I Living For by Katy Perry. It's scarily spot on.**

**Del su Juo! (On with it! In Lithuanian)**

Fang POV

"Come on lad's! Time to get up and explore! No lying around all day!" Iggy's Grandma calls up the, dare I say it, dainty, staircase.

Me and Iggy groan in sync. No! I'm a teenage boy who was up very late last night partying. I refuse to get out of bed. Iggy will back me up.

I slip up to check Iggy's alive, and to my huge amazement, for the first time in his whole life, he was up and getting ready before 9am. This is a very, very weird trip.

"Watcha doing man..." I slur, half asleep at Iggy.

He looks at me apologetic.

"Sorry mate. But every guy knows not to disrespect the Grandma. You'd best get up. I'll go check what she's packed for us to bring." He says, slipping out of our room.

Who woulda known that Iggy's kryptonite is his...? Granny?

I let a sigh slip out as I pull off the knitted blanket. I need to wake up. I'm not being myself. Soon I'll want to watch My Little Stinking Pony.

"No Bubblegum Pony! They evil blob is around the Maple Berry Lane! Not the Crystal Palace!" I hear Iggy shriek. This is scary.

With a grunt I pull off the last bit of blanket and pop up. My black silk boxers, and muscle top have ridden up, so I hastily pull them down. Time to get this show on the road.

I walk down to the en suite bathroom, which is adorned with paintings. The walls of the small house are a nice creamy colour, completed with knitted blankets and worn in furniture. Iggy describes it as Fleur and Bills house by the sea.

I glance at the outfit that was set out for me. Tan dress pants, white button up shirt and shiny black shoes. Oh hell no! I open the door back up, and pull out my duffel bag.

Tan pant's replaced by black jeans. White button up shirt now a long sleeved black t-shirt. And the offensive dress shoes are gone, I pull on a pair of worn in sneakers. Good to go. Quickly I brushed my big ol' pearls before I ran down the stairs.

Iggy was sitting on a couch with his grandma. They were pouring over travel maps. I knocked on the door frame.

Iggy grinned at my compliance while Granny glared at me. Guess she noticed the outfit change. Strolling wordlessly to the kitchen glanced at the two of them, now murmuring again.

They looked similar, both had bright blue eyes. Although, Iggy had blonde hair and Granny had a white perm. I opened a cupboard door, only to find bran cereal. Gross.

Next cupboard dates and dried pasta, rice and other gross stuff. Last cupboard had tinned food and cat pellets. Guess we're eating out.

"Iggy! Let's go get some breakfast." I say.

"Sure. Uno Mento!" Says Iggy. I nod and look at the fruit options as he goes to get some shoes.

"Nickolas. I don't like that outfit. And why are you going out to eat? There is plenty of delectable cereal in the cupboards." She enquires.

"I feel like bacon." I mutter. She tut's.

"Kid's your age are so picky. When I was a young girl, you ate what you were given, and got a slap if we didn't."

I nodded noncommittally as Iggy rushed down the stairs.

"How about the mall? It's the sale season. Sale equals smexy ladies!" Iggy muttered as we strolled out of the living room, through the entrance room, and down the drive.

"I'm up for that." I mutter as we slip into the black mustang. The familiar scent of worn in leather hits my senses. Man, I love Iggy's car.

I lean back in the passenger seat as Iggy fiddles with the dials.

"And I said Romeo-"I quickly cut the volume. Historical songs? Nu-uh. I wordlessly turned on the rock station. Iggy looked at me, and smirked. My smirk!

"Drive you Eggiot." He nodded and gunned it. I held in a grin as I opened my window, the wind tunnelling into my face. Cars streamed past us as we turned into a fast moving highway a few streets away.

_-Time Skip to Mall-_

"I give the brunette a seven." Iggy stated.

We were seated in a small cafe inside a big mall. Giggling girls streamed past us. Most giggled even harder when they saw us. What? We have that effect.

I polished off the last of my chocolate cake before scoping out. I _will _find somebody hotter than Iggy did. If it's the last thing I do.

There were tall dark girls. Short blondes. Ummm. In the corner of my eye I spot a flash of red, and a flash a sort of brown blonde. Two of my favourite hair colours. I let the red head one come more into focus.

Tall, gorgeous hair, nice tits, fit body. Ding! We have a winner!

"Her. Red head. Definite 9." I say, punching Iggy on the shoulder. He follows my eyes. His open as he sees her. I swear drool is coming out of his mouth. I clock him around the head.

"Ahem?" I fake cough. He must of forgotten about our little bet.

"Fine. I'll go pay. It's seriously not fair though!" He mutters, wandering off.

I look in on the niner's face. Big green eyes, pouty lips, high cheeks bones, excessive amounts of make up... I swear I've seen that face before... Wait. Thumping lights. Hot girls. And... Lissa. Lissa!

Hot girl is clingy slut. Woops. Guess the spotlights didn't do wonders for her face. For some reason there's a blossoming bruise on her cheek. But, man, she's working it.

She turns to face me. A flirtatious smile comes on. I raise an eyebrow. She struts over. Wonder where Iggy is.

"So, you're Fang. You come out in the daytime?" She giggles. Her voice is nasally, and I keep my face blank at her lame attempt at humour. Now, if Max had said, I'd be chuckling.

Wait! There's a hot girl in front of me, talking to me, and I'm comparing her to my sarcastic pen pal?

"-a total biatch! Don't you agree?" She shrieks. I nod my head nonchalantly. She seems appeased. Just when I think her rating couldn't get any lower, Iggy comes to my rescue. What! She was boring me!

"Yo! Bro. Here's the mega cookie of doom, an extra large soda, and where'd this hot babe come from?" He asks. Suddenly side tracked.

Lissa, without hesitating in the slightest, she turns her predatorial gaze on Iggy.

"Hey!" She says with a giggle.

"Well, hello. I'm Iggy. And I seem to have lost my number. Can I have yours?"

"Hey Iggsie! I'm Lissa Slut'e! I really like your body." She giggles, handing him a pre prepared slip of paper with a few numbers on it.

"Thanks' doll. By the way, that bruise is sexy." He growls. Seriously, I wonder.

"Bruise? That biatch!" She screams, running off in the direction of the girls toilets. I turn on him.

"Food?" He grumbles something that I probably don't want to know.

"Here." He say's plopping it on the square table. I stick it in my rucksack, and sling that on my back.

"Let's roll."

_-Time Skip-_

"So, we're meant to walk around and smell... Roses?" Iggy asks.

"Actually, I think they're tulips." I mutter. We're strolling round in the Botanical Gardens, and we're dead bored.

Another patch of tulips, oh! Some poppies, that's new. Red roses, those mean romance and other girly stuff. White ones, loyalty and friendship or something? What! My eighth grade teacher was obsessed with flowers.

I saw Iggy checking out some girls. Nah, not my taste. Too... Flouncy. What! I'm bored.

"So, Iggy? How do you feel about the politics on anti Lesbos marriages?" Iggy just shakes his attempt at my sad attempt at starting a conversation.

"No man, there's a reason your silent."

_-Time Skip due to their boredom-_

This is more like it! A whole mall, dedicated to cheap cameras and such. I need a new camera.

I turn around to spout this information to Iggy, but naturally, he's disappeared.

I turn to see the most amazing camera in the history of cameras. It's placed on a small stand in the opening of a small shop. The camera itself is small, sleek, and compact and, you guessed it black. So you know what I did? I bought it!

Putting the box in my rucksack, along with the receipt, I looked around for Iggy.

So, moving on with the Iggy and Fang monologue of New York, we have... Ummm. Back to the house of doom I guess, judging by Iggy running towards me, security guards hot on his tail.

"I swear I didn't blow it up!" He shrieks. Well, shitofski.

I sigh, tense up, and brush my hair in front of my face. You know, so the cameras don't see my face. I checked my runners for loose laces. Nope. Here we go, just when I get out, he pulls me right back in.

So I do what best friends do, I hightail the hell out of there, Iggy with me, without a question.

As my blood pounds, the guards yelling insanities at us, I realise, that I _really _don't want to know what Iggy did.

_-Time Skip to the house of Doom-_

"So? What do you lad's think of the tripe. Iggy always loved it as a child." Iggy's grandma cooed. I smirked and looked at a shuddering Iggy. Good times.

I was smart, and had pushed the disgusting excuse for a food under a piece of wilted lettuce.

"It's nice." I muttered. Hey! Gotta be nice to the Granny!

"Thanks sweetie! Iggsie darling! You've been awful quiet! Anything the matter?" I suspect favouritism.

"Just feeling a bit funny. I'm very full, couldn't possibly eat another bite of your delicious tripe."

"What a shame darling." She says.

He said with a white face. I held in a snigger as we all returned to our... Meals.

The round table was very cramped, and the whole house stunk like rotten eggs. Apparently it was 'the fragrance from the quality cheese' Iggy's grandma has used.

My black shirt was tucked into my clean jeans, and my black trainers were de-mudded. Grandma insisted.

I had gotten off easy. Iggy was in a presses white shirt, tucked into black dress pants. His hair was slicked back, and a tie was strangling him. Poor, poor boy.

Grandma (as she insists I call her) is in a white cardigan over a long sleeved brown top, jeans, and a pair of small heeled shoes.

"Fang honey?" She says, out of the blue.

"Yup." I say back. Probably asking if I want seconds.

"A little blue bird tells me you're sexually active." She says, looking concerned.

I choke on my food. She is _so _Iggy's grandma.

"I guess." I mutter. Awkward.

I look over to Iggy, whose face is red from holding back shrieks of laughter. I give him a death glare, which sobers him.

"Well dearie. If you bring back any you lasses, that you plan to have sexual intercourse with, just go into the guest room. And hang up the buy sign. Just to avoid any awkwardness." She says, completely serious. I nod, cringing.

Iggy. Is. Dead.

"Now boys. It's getting a bit late. Fang, there's another letter for you in the kitchen, make sure to brush your teeth!" She orders, ushering us out of the room.

Iggy collapses. He rolls on his bed, laughter coming out of his ears.

"That! Was! Classic!" He wheezes. I give him a quick punch in the solar plexus before sprinting into the kitchen, and grabbing the crumpled up letter. Well, isn't Maxie in a bad mood?

Going back up to the bedroom, I find Iggy fast face is black and twitching. Must be dreaming his little perverted dreams.

I pull on a pair of sleep shorts, an over sized top. Stopping in the bathroom to apply paste to my mouth I brushed, and brushed, and brushed. This is. So. Boring!

Eventually finished, I hurried back to the bedroom. Only to be greeted by the blasting sound of droids being crushed.

Iggy, of course sitting at the controls.

"Die space blasteroid! Die by my sparklytastic blasteroid gun!" He shrieks.

"Weren't you asleep, like, five minutes ago?" I question. He looks at me. Perverted look on his face.

"You see Fangums. A lot can happen in the space of five minutes." He say's coyly. Before turning back to the screen. Rolling my typically dark eyes, I hopped onto my bed.

"Pen and paper?" I asked. Without looking he threw me a note book and black ink pen. I smirked. I'm too awesome to smile.

Ripping open the letter, it falls out. A smile slips out at the normality. Sweet Hades.

_Call me that and I will incapacitate you. But, anyhoo, Good Morrow Fangie!_

_It is the correct answer, I admit. But I hate to say it, well, actually, I enjoy it. Anyway! You aint always right, because you seem to think your hotlicious. Sorry hun!_

_None of that it true! Well, maybe the boyfriend bit... But! I'm still awesomer than you!_

_And now, Fang. My sardonic take, on your sardonic take, as payback for a sardonic on the original list. _

_Apparently, my boobs. (I've gotta see them to believe it Maxie dearest), (You would like that. Wouldn't you?)_

_My boyfriend. (Read above paragraph. Yep, no laziness for you. You gotta refer to the last one!). (If you're after laziness, look in a mirror. Woops, I bet it just cracked.)_

_My round house, right hook, punch, groin kick etc. (aggressive little devil aren't we? Bet you could never take me. I'm that bloody awesome.) (Awesome? Nope. About to be bloody? Hell yep!)_

_My witty comments. (They don't rival mine. And they count as immature. Not witty. Wit takes brains. Catch my drift?)(Wow! Fangie knows words!)_

_My athelticalness (another depressing thing we have in common.) (It's not depressing if you noted it.)(Well! Your face is depressing!_

_My smarts. (*cough in your dreams cough*) (At least my dreams are wholesome! And they aren't even about my smarts. WHICH ARE THERE!) _

_And my kickass death glare, (I guess I'll give you that one). All this hour too! (Little Maxie can tell the team! Wow!). That was fun!_

_Just go die anyway._

_Einstein! Noob. __**Obviously **__you want the elevator repair man!_

_Question time! Okay, so-. There's a person you've admired from afar for years. They suddenly they come to your house. Your Mum is bringing him/her up to your room. You have time to hide one thing. What is it? For me? My journal. _

_Lots of fake love, _

_Max._

I chuckled as I uncapped the pen. Time to get my reply on!

_Good Morrow Maxie!_

_I am so hot, mirrors faint in my presence-_

**There you go! **

**Dream date for me? Paint balling or a rock concert.**

**And the new question, just reply to Max's.**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	15. Getting a Start on Being Delinquents

**Bula! (Hello in Fijian).**

**Here's chapter 15! Yay, we're making progress! I estimate we're a bit under ½ way with this story. I have a few lined up, but I know, that if I don't do them one at a time, the update's will be like, once a year.**

**Okay, so a shout out to Ninja Robin, who is one of my mates, and is new. **

**By the way! I made a fiction press account, it's under Blue-Songbirds, and if anyone has a story, review with the link, and I'd LOVE to read it!**

**BYE! (Can't be bothered searching Bye! In Fijian! SORRY! It's late!)**

Max POV

"Max! We're going shopping!" Ella screams across the room.

"No were bloody not! I have plenty of clothes!" I thundered back.

"No! You have less clothes than a homeless person!" She screeched.

Angel looked at us amused. It was dinner. Val and Jeb had gone out for dinner with some friends, so I was babysitting. And for those wondering why we're still conscious, Ella cooked.

"Tomorrow morning. We are wagging. And you are coming the hell shopping!" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, little miss ignorant? Who's going to sort out Angel?" I asked, smugly.

"I will. But your coming." She says.

Crap.

Angel is giggling, but her eyes are suspicious looking. She must be forming a plan. And when Angela Ride forms a plan, you run and bloody hide.

_-Time Skip-_

"Yep Daddy! Max is driving me to school." Jeb nods his ugly, stupid, lying face to Ella, whose own face is the epitemy of innocence.

I've trained her so well.

Shame I didn't intend to. She walks over, when her back is turned to Jeb; she shoots me a thumb up. Which I respond to with a death glare.

Jeb is his usual ugly self. In a stained pair of trackies, and a matching wife beater, he's the epitome of sleazy looking. Back to the devil they call Ella.

She strolls over. Kitted out in a pair of short, short, shorts (made of frayed denim), and a sparkly singlet that showed her midriff when she lifted up her arms. And to top off the gross display, a pair of white kitten heels. Her hairs dead straight, and hits her shoulders. Not to mention the make-up.

Me! On the other hand, am in a pair of knee length denim shorts, which are mucho too biggio. A tank top (olive green) and a pair of black canvas shoes. Add a simple pony tail and a bit of chapstick. Done!

So anyway, we enter the car, me driving, and pull out of the driveway.

Ella plugs her Ipod in thank Neptune! I start off the way we usually head to school, then, when out of sight, do a quick U turn.

Why? You may be asking why the hell am I going along with this. Well, noob! Because I had a test that... Ummm... I didn't study for! Okay! Bad student. Yes. I probably won't get into college.

Nah, I'm too awesome for that!

The scenery zips past me, my head nodding along to the radio. Some song about Doctor Who or something. Pretty good.

I. Am. So. Bored!

_-Time Skip-_

"Okay, so, we'll start at Maceys, and then hit Target. I've got Dad's credit card!" Ella rambles.

The mall is huge! It reaches for storeys and storeys. There's dozens, probably hundreds of windows, and they're all glass. Wonder what the food courts like.

I pull into the near empty car underground car park, as I attempt to zone her out.

"Uh huh. Yeah, totally. This'll be so fun." I say in a monotone, distracted by pulling round a corner. Just as I start into a spot, some dude screeches in front of me.

"Go to hell you bastard!" I holler, pulling the brake a bit too hard, to avoid a crash. Me and Ella both slam forward in our seats. She screams, and I close my eyes.

"You okay?" I ask. Stopping in safety. She looks at me, a red mark on her neck.

"I'm driving on the way home." She mutters, groaning as I roll my eyes.

"You suck at driving!" A small voice yells from the back of the car.

Me and Ella both turn to face each other.

Well crap.

"Angel? Is that you?" I call suspiciously.

"Yes! Now, could somebody get me out of this boot?" She calls back in an exasperated tone.

I slam open the door and rush out. Opening the boot I see her small body, curled up amongst all my crap.

"Thanks!" She says with a grin.

"No problem. Now, why are you here?" I demand loudly. Her small face falls. In the corner of my eye I can see Ella pulling the car into an empty spot.

"Don't be mad! But, it sounded so fun! And I didn't want to go to school, so I hid in the boot of the car." She says slowly. I sigh. I am in deep, deep shit.

"Look Ange, you shouldn't have done that. It was silly, and now we'll all be in trouble." I say, taking the mum role again.

"Okay, but just one thing!" She says urgently, her big blue eyes pleading with me. Don't give in, don't give...

"What" I say, giving in. My body is tensed as cars go past us; Ella is sitting in the car. She's terrible at this stuff. Angela grins, making me more sure that we should have called Devlin. You know! Cause Angela and Angel, Devlin and... Never mind.

"Don't tell Mum." She concludes, knowing I won't say no. I am in so much trouble when we get home. I nod wearily.

"Ella! Come on, let's get this over with. We need to get Ange home before three!" I yell, she stomps out.

Let's get going.

"So, as I was saying, let's start with Maceys." She orders as me and Angel follow.

_-Time skip-_

"This! Oh my god! This!" Ella squeals, throwing some sparkly dish rag at me. I raise an eyebrow, and lift it up.

"Exactly what is it?" I ask, bored out of my mind.

"An off the shoulder top, complete with b-dazzled detailing. It sinches in at the waist, which will accentuate your figure." She recites.

"Eh?" I ask dumbly. Didn't get a word of that.

I tune into some giggling, looking down at Ange, I wink.

"No, just no." I say defiantly.

I march out of there Ange in tow. Pac man, Pac man. There it is!

Marching with more purpose I storm the brigade, I ninja my way through the evil villains, I ummm. I enter the shop?

"Stay." I demand at Angel. Placing her glaring body and face at the toy basket. Now, I need three tops, a couple jeans and maybe some socks. Shopping with purpose. Wonder where Ella is. Meh, she'll show up.

Tops! I locate the rows. Why are the assistants giving me weird looks?

Okay, a black top, some graphic one, Star Wars quotes and a white one with a tree on it. My size. Done.

Jeans! A black pair and a light blue pair, my size, done.

I spy an awesome hoodie. All dark blue with stars, my size, done.

Socks! Striped pair, black pair, and fluro orange pair. Done! I take them all, get to the counter.

"These please." I say to the cashier. She takes them, I pay, and we leave. Done! Why can't all shopping be that easy?

_-Time Skip-_

"Where on earth did you disappear?" Ella shrieks, causing a scene. She notes the bags, and then continues to glare at me. I calmly continue eating my burger.

"Ange, take some money and go get a burger." I say smiling. She grins back and skips off rather fast.

"Well!" Ella demands.

"Because, you were making me feel like an idiot. Anyway, I have all the clothes I need. We're leaving in twenty minutes." I say, still calm.

"No, you don't have a dress for prom." She says annoyed. Plopping down in her seat.

"Ella! Prom is months and months and months away!" I yell.

"No! Only like, five, or maybe six." She mutters.

"Exactly. Now, where Angel?" I question.

"I don't know! It was you who sent her off to get an ice cream." She states, placing the blame on me.

"It was your idea to come!" I say back, getting more pissed off by the second.

Just then, we hear a yell, and a cry. A cry from Angel. Bring it on.

I drop my food and sprint though the mall, where is she! No, no, no, no. Why are there so many kids here! Shouldn't they be at school?

Blonde head, Ange! Red head, Lissa. Catching up, I stop.

"What's going on!" I demand, shoving Ange behind me. My tone takes on of a mother bears. Lissa shoots daggers.

"She assaulted me!' She shrieks.

"Lissa, she's six." I say calmly, turning to Angel, I begin addressing her in a hushed tone.

"Angie, what really happened?" I say. She turns her big, adorable eyes up at me sadly. They brim with tears.

"I slipped, and she uhhh, was in my way. Then, my ice-cream fell on her top, so she... Shoved me!" She stutters out. My eyes grow flames. That cow!

"You bitch!" I holler!

"She's a little brat!" Lissa shrieks. So, I did what any sane person would do.

Clocked her in the face.

Her head swivelled comedically. A bruise was blossoming.

"You whore! You just hit me!" She screams, drawing yet more attention. I roll my eyes.

"No duh." I say bored. Grabbing Angels arm I stroll out, past Ella.

"You alright?" I ask a silent Angel. Looking at errs again, I make sure she nods. Home we go!

_-Time Skip-_

"Max! Mail!" Val yells. I jump up from the couch. Turning off the TV, I stroll (Max no skip) to the kitchen.

Val hands me the letter. For those wondering, we didn't get caught for... Wagging with our six year old singer.

Crashing up the steps, I slam open the bedroom door, all while tipping it open. What! Letters hate me!

Throwing myself back on the bed, I take out the paper, and forward thinking, grab a pen. So, what's Fangie been up to?

_Good morrow Maxie-Kins! I am so hot, mirrors faint in my presence. Yep, that blimmin sexy. _

_Mwahahah! Let's see you try incapacitating me! I'm too ninja awesome for my own good!_

_I am hotlicious! The girl sitting next to me in bed thinks so at least. Just ask her._

_Cough cough. You wish you were awesome than me! Maybe Santa is awesome than me... Nah._

_We need to find something more interesting to do with these letters than sardonic takes... How about... We say the most important thing that happened that day? Or a coupe, if it's awesome. Yeah, let's do that. Me first._

_Well, Iggy's grandma sat us down for dinner (which was disgusting, in case you were wondering), and starts planning what we all need to do if we have a girl over, and are having sex. Awkward or what!_

_Then, we got chased out of a mall by security guards (thanks to Iggy). I still aint asked why though._

_Hmmm, for the question... Maybe my princess dress collection? JOKING! How about... my clothing? You know how hot I apparently am naked? Very, very, very. Or so they say._

_Now, for my question... When you walk into the room, what's your theme tune? Mines probably... I'm too sexy for my clothes, too sexy or my clothes, too sexy! Etc. _

_What! I feel sexy today! I would say, you know the feeling, but you've never been sexy in your life. _

_Fang,_

_Fly On._

Rolling my eyes, I begin on my reply.

_To dearest Fangie Poo._

_I dislike you. A lot lot lot-_

**There we have it!**

**Hmmmm, maybe my writing journal? Or my sisters underwear (we share a room).**

**New question! Let's mix it up a bit. YOU AWSEOME GUY'S ASK A QUESTION, AND I WILL REPLY TO ALL OF THEM! That'll be cool!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	16. Attack of the Teenage Zombies

**Bonjour Mademoiselles, Madams, and Monsieur's! (Hello un-married women, married women and males!).**

**Yes! Yes I know! It's been ages! I feel terrible! But, I'm now on school holiday so I should update more often for a couple weeks!**

**Okay, a shout out to Wingz-and-a-Fez who's epically awesome!**

**Now, I believe that's all! **

**La Fin of this note! (The End of this note! What! I'm still learning French!)**

Winn gs and a fez get's a shout out.

Fang POV

"Dude! Get your stuff packed! We're leaving in a half hour!" Iggy yells across the house. Groaning I thwomp onto the floor, out of bed.

Yesterday, we just hung out around the house. But now it was Wednesday, so we had to go back to school. Something about out attendance. Yeah, not fun. Mum was rambling on about me and Dad having a "Father Son Day in the Park'. Now that was real fun! Sarcasm is a way of life.

I sprung off the floor, smoothing down my clothes. Feeling pretty positive. Yep, me, positive. Scary.

"Okay!" I yell back.

Clothes, that's first on the agenda. Pulling the black bag off the floor, I rummage through. Black jeans, a navy blue top, underwear, socks, all done!

"Too. Much. Mess." I grumble, carefully treading my way through the room. Well! This is what happens when you out two teenage boys in a small room!

Ugh, Iggy's undies. I shudder, kicking them aside.

Finally, I reach the empty bathroom. Opening the door, I turn on the light. It looks relatively clean. Pulling off the muscle sleeping tank, I apply deodorant, and pull on the fresh top. I swing my arms, getting a feel for the fabric. I slip out of the pants and boxers, pulling on new ones. I brush my teeth, shaggy up my hair, and comprend'e! Clean Fang!

I march back to the bedroom, which is now pretty bare. Iggy must've packed. I survey the room with uncanny precision. Slipping into action, I slip in the toothbrush and towel. PJ's go in next, followed by dirty socks, tops undies and pants. Sunnies, IPod. And I'm done.

I feel like I'm on fast forward today.

Shouldering the bag, I go downstairs to eat.

"Morning." I announce, entering the room. Iggy looks up from the kitchen. He tilts to look for my bag, once he catches sight of it, he looks up.

"I'm making brekkie, you hungry?" He asks voice normal due to the whole 'it be early in the morning' thing.

"Yeah." I say back, sitting down at the table.

"Hey boys!" Iggy's granny announces as she enters the room, obviously wide awake, and a bundle of joy, cue shudder.

"Hey Gran!" Iggy called back. I just nodded.

"You eating?" She asked.

We both rolled our eyes.

"Yep, but we're about to leave."

She kissed us both on the cheek, she smelt of talcum powder and perfume. Strange combination.

I smiled, and hugged her back. She let us in her house all week!

Iggy danced over to the table, holding stacked plates in his hands. He put them on the table with a loud 'clack'.

Smells. So. Good!

_-Time Skip-_

"Fang! You ready?" Mum yelled up the stairs.

"Yeah!" I yelled back. I sighed, low, long and deep sigh. Can't I have stayed in New York? I guess not.

Walking slowly down the stair case, Mum stops me on the last step.

"Behave." She orders in a hushed voice. I nod morosely. I hate family time. Even if it is only half of the family. In case you were wondering, I'm about to be sent out on a 'Father Son Day'. With the dad, may I add, who is rarely at home to start with.

I follow her through the door, to the living room. Dad is sitting on the couch, in a pair of jeans, and old top and a mobile phone. Surgically attached to his ear. Seriously. Can't you get cancer from that or something?

Mum, as if sensing my thoughts, coughed rather loudly. Not before send me a death glare.

"Honey. You need to leave with Fang now!" She says nicely.

Dad turns around, switching off the phone with a confused look on his face. I can see where I get the looks from. I'm a younger version of my dad.

"Fang? Who's Fang? We need to leave Nick." He says. Me and mum look at each other and roll our eyes in sync.

Shrugging I follow his retreating figure out of the house and into the garage. I open the door of the impeccably clean, silver car, and slip in silently. Dad is turning off his cell phone as we speak. Shocker.

"So son. Where we off to?" He asks, puzzled.

"Dunno. Something at the park." I mutter quietly.

"Park. Right." He mutters. Switching the car into drive, and clicking the dial to open the garage door.

_-Time Skip-_

"Right gentlemen! And beautiful accompanying ladies! Here's how this race is going down! You get in the sack, and hop to the finish line! Got it? Good!" A man boomed through the speaker phone. I rolled my eyes at his lame attempt at flirting. But yes, there are many girls in the audience. Suckers!

"Now, on your marks, get set, go!" He booms over the speakerphone.

I jump into action instantly. Tensing my legs, I bounce. Dad is luckily in sync with me. We both jumped, and jumped, and jumped.

Before we knew it, the sash was around our waists. Guess we won. I heard the cheering, but kept my face neutral. Dad lifted his hand for a high five. I raised an eyebrow at him just as the announcer guy came up.

From up close, I could see he only looked a couple years older than me. He looked very excited though. Uh oh! He's opening his mouth!

"That was fantastic! You totally won! So, how does it feel to be the supreme overlords?" He asks. I hold in a groan. Get me the hell out of here! He has shaggy brown hair, and big brown eyes. Average height, no competition.

I look at Dad. And Dad looks at me. I quirk an eyebrow, and he grins. This is just, strange.

"We're just getting started." I mutter into the microphone. All the girls swoon. All they boyfriends of the girls glare. What! Just having some fun!

"Cause we're all still alive! Now! Onto the water fight!" He yells excitedly.

Wait! What water fight? I get sucked into the sea of excited, moving people. Due to my height, I poke over the heads, and not that I'm being led to a large empty patch. Littered with brightly coloured buckets. And from the looks of it, encasing water balloons.

Eventually, the crowds draw to a stop. Fanning out, I quickly calculate the size of the pitch (big enough), the amount of people (around 100, give or take a dozen), and my biggest threats (trucker dude, two paces North East, and the gaggle of fan girls complete perimeter).

"On your marks! Get set! Go!" He hollers.

I flick my head around. My eyes dart to the oncoming hoard of zombies. Well, teenage girls, same thing.

Breathing in deep, I sprint to the nearest bucket. Arming myself, I duck a hot pink balloon, aimed for my abs. throwing a return shot; I squirm in the shrieking crowd. Going in overload, I throw balloons at every passing body.

Every single shot hits their mark. I allow myself a smirk, zombies attacking!

I raise an eyebrow at the semicircle or girls. Arming myself. I throw. At the three metre mark, I shoot one after the other. Sudden splodges of wet appear on their faces. They squeal about their make up and run off.

Max would have loved this. Bet she wouldn't have worn makeup.

No! Busy Fang! Think clearly!

I wish she was here!

No! No you don't! You are busy!

I think more clearly. The rush of bodies getting a bit overwhelming. I catch dad's eyes, and notice the horror in his. Looking around silently, I notice bunch of yummy mummies after him. This is the time to burst out laughing.

"Can we get out of here?" I mouth. He nods quickly. I hold in a chuckle as I begin working my way out of the wet and excited crowds. Passing a shed, I spot the car. No dad. Must still be getting out.

Two sharp nails suddenly dig into my back. I look around wildly. Struggling, I realise I'm being dragged into the shed.

What the Hades?

"Hello hunny." A female voice purrs. I sigh. Not again.

"Yeah, hi. Now, please, get the hell off me." I mutter annoyed. In the darkness, I can only see a curvy outline, with long, straight hair. Possibly red.

"Come on baby, I saw you looking at me. I want you!" She literally growled. I gulped. This is actually pretty scary.

"I was comparing you to a zombie." I admit, in an attempt to offend her.

"I'm a zombie for your abs." She shoots back immediately.

"Thanks. Now, I gotta go-"I say, trying to escape.

"No way." She growls.

Before I know it, her lips are on mine. Her body is pressed up against mine, hands tousling my hair. Okay, sue me, I'm a teenage guy. So yeah, I made out with her in a shed. And it was nice. Real nice.

_-Time Skip-_

"So Fang? Did you have fun with your dad?" Mum asks before tucking into her pasta.

I shrug. Ignoring her glare at my lack of response. My finished plate teases me, begging for thirds. What's the betting that she won't leave it?

"Did you make any friends? How's that project of that guy going?" She asks. Told you imaginary person!

"No, Max is a girl. I aint started on it yet." I mutter downing some water to pass the time.

"Hmm, I'm not sure I like her. What sort of parent names their girl Max? And you best get a start on it." She replies.

I grit my teeth. No, don't snap. Max is an amazing person, and I know it.

Wait! Hold up! Did I just call my sarcastic, snarky, hilarious, gorgeous, amazing pen pal amazing? Twice? And did I just call her all that other stuff? Seriously! What is wrong with me!

"Hm." I just mutter. Keeping a blank facade. When on the inside, I'm flipping out.

Okay, so I may or may not kind of like Max. Kind of. Okay, this is making no sense.

"Fang, if you are done, you can go reply to that Max girl." Mum suggests, in an amused voice. Wonder why.

I jump up, surprising myself. Why am I so excited to talk to this mad woman? Because, I think I really, actually...

"I'm home!" Nudge shrieks, slamming open the door. Completely ruining an important epiphany. Damn that girl.

Walking up the stairs, I note that mum has placed the letter on my rumpled up bed. Aint been here for a while, I muse.

Flopping back on the bed, I shred open the envelope. A few pieces of scribbled on paper fall out, just like all the other times. But they seem to be getting longer.

_To dearest Fangie Poo._

_I dislike you. A lot lot lot. And the only reason they faint, is because they're looking at all your personal stalkers! You need your cockiness taking down a notch._

_You! Ninja! I bet you don't even know the seventh dimensional secrecy statement. Noob._

_Your mummy thinks so? D'awwww! How cute!_

_Hmmm, decent idea. Well, today. I bunked with my sisters. And got in an argument with a tramp. What about you?_

_Awkward! Hahah! Sounds really funny! I hate grannies. They seem so... Creepy. Like sporks._

_If I were you, I would ask. Now, I have an uncle in Mexico. In the mail, there should be a phone number. Phone and you should be directed to Ralf. Say I sent you and he'll give you an address. GO to this address, and he'll set you up from there._

_Little question. Would you be willing to undergo a sex change?_

_Fang, I think somebody slipped something into your drink._

_The mission impossible theme song! Duh! Cause I'm a ninja/spy. Didn't you know?_

_I'm not going to comment on that last sentence. _

_Oh! My question. What's your favourite day you've ever had?_

_For me, maybe the time I took my sisters to the circus. I was about thirteen. Jeb was away, and mum gave me money. We had a blast. But I don't think any of them remember. Ella was twelve, Angel was only about two._

_Lots of Love,_

_Max_

_P.S- Crap! Forgot to write in sarcastic. Meh, I'll leave it. Don't want to re write this whole thing._

Something about the ending is making me feel funny. Meh. Pulling the pen and paper I begin to reply.

_To the lovely Max._

_You wish you disliked me that much-_

**Thanks! Now, a couple people had questions that I would have loved to answer! But they had disabled they're PM. So, sorry if I didn't reply!**

**Next question! What country are you from? (I'm running out of questions! Email me some! I love talking to people!)**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	17. Best Friends With a Wench

**Ahoj Chlapa! (Hey Guy's! In Czech).**

**I know I told you all that I would go on an updating spree. But my computer got a virus, and had to go to a menders. Which was a HUGE bugger.**

**I have a favour I'm going to ask all of you lovely people! One of my friends, Claire Ville (I've mentioned her a few times. Shout outs and birthdays.) has a fantastic story up! All who check it out (and tell me so) get a huge thanks sent through PM and a virtual hug!**

**I'm debating doing NaNoWriMo. Which would either mean even slower updates, or none for a month. Tell me what you think!**

**I believe that's all…**

**Na Psani se! (On with the writing! In Czech).**

Max POV

"Could Lissa Slut'e please report to the principal's office, repeat, Miss Slut'e to the principal's office? Thank you, that is all." A very bored sounding voice jolts me out of my daydream. No! The walking chocolate man was just about to hug me!

Anyway! Where is little old' Lissa? I scan my eyes around the room. Landing on her and her barely there outfit, I raise an eyebrow at her. She notices and shrugs, giving a half smile grudgingly.

Wait! That was an almost friendly interaction. What's happening! Wait, I'm thinking to myself.

"Maximum! How is your project on Fang going?" Ms Wilson asks. Huh! Oh, she's standing next o my desk. Since when?

"It's a working progress." I state with confidence. She merely rolls her eyes, and strolls over to her desk. Crap! The project. Meh, I'll get to it.

"Okay kid's! Pack up! Bell's about to go!" She calls half heartedly over the racket.

_-Time Skip-_

"Break it up! Break it up! Right now!" A teacher cries shrilly. But I'm Maximum Ride. So I didn't stop.

Dodging a flying fist, I returned one, only mine actually landed. The vibration ran up my arm. Flipping backwards, I skid to a stop (grazing the knee of my black skinny's in the process), and crack my knuckles again. Flicking a high kick at one of the offender's jaws, his head flies backwards, and he goes sprawling.

I cracked my neck, and looked at the remainders. The crowd was bobbing up and down, yelling they're hearts out. Some one had stuck and Ipod into a dock, and music was blasting. It was all like giving my adrenalin a shot of adrenalin.

The last of the Letterman Jackets were pushed into the large circle. When I was finished with these losers, it was onto the actual competition. Like, the ones who could actually throw a half decent punch.

A huge hulk of a teen was pushed at me. I yawned, and got into a stance. He came barrelling in my direction, at the final possible moment, I thrust out my fist.

It landed on his nose. Hard. He gave a groan, but kept coming on. Before I knew it, I was over his huge shoulder.

Unlike most, I didn't struggle, or scream. I just waited. The crowd was on its toes. When I felt his shoulder relax, I acted.

Jerking my leg, I kicked him in the crown jewels. He emitted another groan. Although this one was considerably louder. I shot off his back, and steadied myself. Taking his defencelessness into account, I shot a roundhouse, it landed its mark.

I spat at the body now sprawled on the ground. The crowd was going wild.

"Next!" I hollered. Nobody stepped foreword.

Cowards.

"And Maximum Ride remains the reigning champion! Was there ever any doubt?" Some guy shouts over a speaker phone.

The crowd charges foreword. Two people lift my almost scratch free body onto their shoulders. I let myself be re charged by the cheers. Allowing myself on grin.

"Hell yeah!" I holler.

Shrieks fill the air. I spin around, looking for the source. People melting away, I see the man of my nightmares. No, not Jeb.

The Principal.

"Miss Ride! What on earth happened here?" He yells, absolutely livid. I turn on my cocky, untouchable demeanour. Jutting out a hip and putting a hand on it, I raise an eyebrow. All in sync. Skill.

"I think you're aware. Making that question very, very redundant." I reply in a lilting, sarcastic tone. He's closer now. I can see every single hair on his head. He's breathing hard, face an unhealthy red for a face to be.

"We have been over this a million times. Fights are banned in this school." He says in an oddly strained tone.

"And hows that working out for you?" I say.

"My office. Wait outside. I'm discussing something with Ms Slut'e." He says with finality, marching off. Shrugging, I stroll in after him.

Passing through the halls I get many a high five. But, however, my happiness ends when I enter the hell hole of an office.

I smile at the usual suspects. Plopping down in my usual seat, I raise an eyebrow at the lad's excited expressions.

"What did you do this time?" One eventually blurts out.

"Fight club." I reply nonchalantly. They both grin at me. I zone in on the Principal and Lissa.

"Look! We have witnesses! Just tell me! Did you vandalise the janitor's closet at lunch yesterday!" He says very aggro.

"No! I didn't! I can prove it! But if I do, I'm off the cheer team! Just believe me!" She cries out. The Big P sighs loudly.

"Just wait outside. I'll call you back in a minute or two." He replies.

The secretary lady waves me in. I pass Lissa, who's obviously on the edge of tears. A thought pop's up in my head.

I'm the only one who can prove she's innocent.

Well, I'm royally screwed.

"Miss Ride! Today please!" The secretary says, getting annoyed. I simply roll my cow eyes at her. She glares at me. Well! Our sort of friendship didn't last long!

I walk in, shut the door, and plop down in the left seat. It's taller, making me look more imposing.

"Sup?" I ask nonchalantly. What! This is my 'bad girl persona'.

"Max. This is happening far too often. I'm not going to punish you. But, one more offence and I shall pick a suitable punishment." He states, haughtily.

Hell yeah!

"Got it! So, umm, what was the deal with Lissa?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"She was witnessed vandalising the janitor's closet at lunch yesterday. We have witnesses and everything. She could be expelled." He say's, shuffling through papers.

I freeze up. If I don't tell, then she's expelled. If I do tell, then I'm in deep crap. Not that I like Lissa, naw! I hate her guts! But expulsion… Standing up slowly, I leave the room. Big P doesn't notice.

Slowly shutting the door behind me. I nod at the secretary. Something catches my attention. A small red ball. A small red ball crying to be exact.

_-Time Skip-_

I picked at my lunch. It was a chicken burger. People were carefully avoiding me. This I the downside of fight day. Either they love you, or they're terrified you. Why can't somebody just realise I'm still gorky little Max.

Just like Fang does.

No! Bad thinking!

I frowned to myself as another nerd scuttled past me. Clutching his book to his chest, and avoiding eye contact. Dylie Boy was sitting with his friends. Leaving me to be all lonery. Yep, aint he lovely.

My mind is still mulling over the Slut'e predicament. I think I have an answer. Don't laugh imaginary person in my mind of which I address all my thoughts to. I think I'm going to go all innuendo. Like all anonymous letters.

I have it all written in front of me. I should stop thinking to myself.

_To The Principal, _

_Lissa Slut'e is completely innocent, I am defiant in this fact. I have information. She was actually occupied during lunch. I vouch for this._

_Anonymous. _

Good aye! Now, I'm going to do while the secretary is eating.

_-Time Skip-_

Mission Impossible theme tune playing in my head. Check. Letter? Check.

Let's get this show on the road.

I tumble roll past the desk. Secretary oblivious to me. Blame it on the imaginary spy/ninja genes. I stop in form of the large mahogany door.

Coast remains clear. Mission advance to stage two. Over.

Rodger that base. Over

Slipping my hand under the gap, letter intact, I check to leave. Clear.

Pulling a skate board out of my bag (it was in my locker for no apparent reason), I lay stomach down. Using my arms to silently slide me out.

Door in sight. Mission success. Over.

But, when I think I'm in the clear, the worst case scenario happens. Yes, that scenario.

"Miss Ride. Care to explain?" The Big P asks in a bored tone. I jump. Crap. So close.

"Nothing sir. Just passing through." I say, keeping my cool. Well, as cool as the sun cool. Did that make sense?

"Office. Now. And what's this note?" He says, once I'm seated.

"Oh, nothing!" I say, voice a bit too high.

"Now, I don't believe that one bit. Why Miss Ride, are you so adamant, that Lissa is innocent?" He demands.

Max! Think! Wing it? No. Lie? Possibility. Tell the truth? Oh, so not happening. Not in a million years-

"I saw her at a mall." I blurt. My small hands fly over to cover my mouth. Blonde hair flicking over the shoulders of the white v-neck at the action.

"Tell me the whole story." He says. I sigh. Guess I'm giving up. This is new for me.

"I saw her at a mall. During lunch. We were both bunking. We got in a fight." I say quietly. Why did I have to be nice?

"That changes things. Thank you for telling me. But you know bunking counts as an offence." He says.

"Yeh. What's the punishment?" I ask.

"The cheerleading team needs one more member. Welcome to the squad." He says, before making the universal 'leave' sign.

Umm, what just happened?

Walking out I bump into Lissa. Think of the red headed she wench and she shall appear. How joyous!

"I heard all of that. How dare you join the squad you bit-"

"Lissa! Get in here!" The Big P calls. Interrupting her snide remarks.

How dare that little wench speak to me like that! And after I stuck my neck out for her. There will be hell to pay. May all of Satan evil energy be harnessed and unleashed onto Lissa. May she rot in Hades, and I'm blocking up the hallway.

_-Time Slip-_

"So Max! Prom soon?" Val asks. Jeb's at a business meeting. Joyous occasion!

"Yep. Pretty soon." I reply in a monotone, mouth full of ravioli.

"Max! But you said it was like, six months away! And that is seriously gross!" She shrieks. Me and Val merely exchange a look.

"I exaggerated. Did I say I'm an official cheerleader? It's my punishment." I throw out. The effect is instantaneous. Knew it. Val and Angels mouths are wide open. Ella appears to be convulsing. I shrug and continue eating.

_-Time Skip-_

"I'm replying! Nobody bug me!" I holler through the house. I can vaguely hear muffled replied. I let a small smile grace my pale pink lips as I pull out the paper.

No! I don't get attached!

_To the Lovely Max._

_You wish you hated me that much! I'm seriously hurt though! That cut's pretty deep. Sarcasm. And a lot of it. _

_Actually I do! The seventh dimensional secrecy statement is as follows: A quick kill is a good kill. Take that! And the eighth is: Theatrics only lead to downfalls. Bam!_

_I am ANYTHING but cute! Hot, yeah. Not cute!_

_Sporks make the world go round! And the elderly aren't scary. I officially know what scares the invincible Max! I may now harness this power, and lead the downfall of modern society! Starting with Twitter!_

_I'll be sure to contact this uncle of yours! I've always wanted to go to Mexico! When I get married, that's where I want to honeymoon. _

_Sex change? Umm, no. I'll take my chances. _

_Max, I'm well aware of this. In fact, I am whole heartedly enjoying it. Wow! Why is Renaldo the squirrel making out with a flower pot? Joking. Yes, I did indeed just make a joke. I have a funny side!_

_Max, I don't think you're a ninja/spy. That takes subtly. You're as subtly as a hundred story skyscraper. Or the Statue of Liberty. That sort of lack of subtly. _

_Best day? If I was sentimental, maybe the day I was assigned to the Wonderful, Amazing, Smexy, and Funny Maximum Ride as a pen pal. Maybe the day we adopted my sister Monique (or Nudge, as everybody refers to her as. She talks. A lot)._

_D'awww. I've never been to a circus. The tightropes look pretty hot though. When I was about ten, I was adamant I was going to run away to join the circus that was visiting. Mum found out, and I got in trouble. She grounded me, and refused to let me go watch them._

_Today? Well, I got stuck going to a bonding day with my dad. I pounded ass at the water fight. Then got molested by a teenager. It was pretty hot, if not a bit disturbing…_

_Question time! Hmmm, first love? Mine would probably be a red head when I was nine. Her name was Abby; we sat next to each other in class. She always wore a flower in her hair. She moved away when we were thirteen. Not before she made out with my best friend at her leaving party though. Joyous times._

_Fang_

_Fly On_

_P.S- That wasn't a mistake! Maxie loves me! Admit it!_

I gritted my teeth at his accusation. How dare he misread a blooming typo! The nerve of that self centred, jack ass of a man. When I get my hands on him! Instead though, I began to reply.

_To the Devil they call Fang._

_I am very glad to have sarcastically hurt your feelings! In fact-_

**Finished Chapter 17! Yay!**

**Last chappies question: I'm in New Zealand (land of the sheep and hobbits). Which explains any oddities in wording/spelling.**

**New question! Answer Fang's. This'll be interesting!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	18. Disaster In The Form Of Iggy's Presents

**Hello my lovely, amazing people who have put up with the slowness and are reading this! **

**No language today! I want to say a huge thank you for sticking with the slowness! I've had school, and NaNoWriMo (basically, you write a full length novel in the month of November alone), and now I'm a beta! If anybody wants some help, or tips, talk to me!**

**This is my longest ever chapter I believe, around three thousand words. **

**So, I'll be a bit slow this month and maybe a bit after. No other comments. Schools almost over! Five more weeks for me! (Short term). **

**So, on with chapter 18! Tell me what you think!**

Fang POV

"Bro! Wake your fit ass up! Don't tell me you forget again?" I jolt awake.

"What!" I mutter. Right! Morning, Iggy, rude awakening!

"Forgot what?" I groan. Tousling my hair. I should really get a lock on this door.

"Man! It's your bloody birthday!" He yells. My… Birthday?

"What's the date?" I ask, curiously. I can't have forgotten my birthday!

"Does it matter? I'm right! Ask your mother! And you should really get a lock on your door!" He calls over his shoulder. Leaving me frowning and extremely confused.

_-Time Skip_

Stumbling down the stairs, I checked the clock in the hallway. I've got a few hours before school.

"Fang! Happy birthday! Oh! And good morning! I'm really happy today! I bet Paris Hilton is happy. I wish I was blonde! Although, it wouldn't look very good with my skin! Oh em gee! I have a pimple! It's right by my hairline, which is good! I wish I had straight hair! I love talking about hair! It's so fun!"

And just when my eardrums were about to explode, I was saved by the Mum.

"Fang darling! I have some breakfast for you! Happy birthday!" This is getting weird, I think, walking over to the kitchen.

Taking in the scene, I can't help but smile. The room is a huge mess, flour all over the walls, eggs on the floor, but the table itself was picturesque. Clean to a scary point, and covered with food, plated food.

"Thanks mum. " I mutter.

She smiles back, leaving me alone with muchos food.

Stuffing in as much as I can, I look at the time. It's already way too late. I shoot up. Knocking over the chair.

"See ya guy's!" I yell. Sprinting out of the room and into my car. I dive in, throwing my bag on the passenger seat.

I rev the engine, and am out onto the road like a bullet out of a gun.

However, I barely make it down the road, before I see flashing lights in my rear-view mirror. This is not happening! Ignoring them, I continue driving. Feeling much like a fugitive.

"Please pull over! I repeat! Pull over!" The cop guy calls into a microphone. I feel like I'm in an action movie, I think while grudgingly doing what he says.

Stopping on a small side part by the road, the cop swaggers over. He looks way too cocky, and like he'd eaten way too many donuts.

"Boy? Do you know what speed you were driving at?" He drawls.

"No." I say.

"You were twenty over the limit."

"Okay."

"And then you kept driving."

"Yep."

"Care to tell me why?"

"Late."

"Do you ever speak more than one word?" He says, getting aggravated.

"Rarely." I say. Just to piss him off.

"Kid, you are in a crap load of trouble. I recommend you speak." He says with a Texas twang. Holding in a smirk, I reply with an innocent look. Well, as innocent as I can look.

"Why?"

"Why I oughta- Officer Bush, Officer Bush, do you copy? Repeat, do you copy? Over." Shooting me a threatening look, he clicks a button on his walkie talkie.

"I copy. Over." He says clearly.

"Trouble on the two oh seven. Back up needed. Over."

"On my way. Over." He puts down the walkie talkie. And continues to glare daggers at me.

"Son. You are a very, very lucky boy. Now, if I ever catch you again, it's a bog old fine for you." He grumbles, marching off to his cop car. I breathe out a sigh of relief. Safe. Now, all I have to do is get to school. Which started five minutes ago!

Crap.

I'm once again a blur on the road. I'm a terrific driver. I wonder if Max can drive. Stop thinking about that damn girl Fang!

I finally pull into the car park, stopping at my usual spot. Right in front of the school. People know not to mess with me. I step out of my car, only to be bombarded by some girl.

"Hey hot stuff. Remember me?" The girl asks in a voice, which I think is meant to be hot. It just sound like she's got a cough, to be honest. I take her in. Where do I know her from? Hmmm, voice is unfamiliar, so is her face.

"And you are?" I ask, trying to get past her and into homeroom. Girl has a god damn strong grip. She looks annoyed for a second but then her face changes, and she gives a coy look. I'm worried by now. Please don't tell me I did something very stupid.

"Don't try playing hard to get honey. I know you want me. You certainly did when we made out in the shed yesterday." She says in her cough drop voice. Oh, that. I wince, and look around for an escape.

"Look I'm sure you're a lovely girl, but I'm not interested." I say, letting her down gently. I begin to push past her, but she pulls me back and smooshes her lips against mine.

I freeze, not sure what to do. She's pressed up against me, and her tongue is poking my lips, trying to get me to open my mouth. But I don't. I just stand there, mentally begging for help.

"Go dude! She's a goodie!" Iggy yells across the field. The girl snaps her head up, and smiles flirtatiously at Iggy, who instantly winks at her. Only to suddenly glare at me.

"Well?" She demands angrily, looking severely pissed about something.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Aren't you going to protect me? Beat him up for flirting with me? Fight over me?" She asks.

"Why would I do that?" I ask, even more confused.

"Because we're together idiot!" She suddenly yells. What in Hades!

"No we're not. I don't even know your name!" I protest. What is wrong with this girl?

"It's Pansy." She says, moving in closer.

"My name is Pansy Stripa, yours in Nicholas Jones, and we are madly in love." She says forcefully. Pansy Stripa? How fitting, I think dryly.

"Fang! Leave her alone! Teach is severely pissed!" Iggy calls, in an Australian accent.

"Look, Pansy. How about you go get a boyfriend who likes you for you?" I say, why won't she let me get past? Oh right, because she's a nut job.

"But I don't want anybody else. I want you." She literally purrs. I hold in a shudder.

"Fang! Come on!" Iggy calls. I sigh, and shove past Pansy. She falls theatrically to the ground. I march on. When we're out of her ear shot, Iggy nudges me with his shoulder.

"Can I have her?" He asks a sarcastic grin on his face.

"Sure. She's all yours." I mutter.

"Great, because I've set you up on a blind date." He says casually. I freeze, a blind… What?

"No." I merely say.

"You have no choice. I've talker to your mum, she's all for it." He says cockily. I fist up my hands so I won't be tempted to strangle his bloody neck.

"I'm not going." I say tersely.

"You want to bet?" He sings in a soprano tone.

"Yeah. I aint going." I mutter.

"We'll see." He says with a massive grin.

_-Time Skip-_

"Fang! Get the hell out of your room!" Mum yells, pounding on my door. It turns our Iggy wasn't lying when he said that mum was excited about me having a date.

"I've said no!" I yell back.

"I'm getting your dad!" She yells shrill.

"I don't care!" I holler.

Checking the bathroom lock, I look in the mirror. Nudge had tricked me into a shirt and dress pants. Saying she needed to size them for an art project. Me, being the sucker I am, let her.

Of course then mum barges in, telling me to get my butt into her car before she burns my books. A hushed voice at the door snaps me out of my reverie.

"Fang? You in there?" He whispers, ear and mouth pressed up to the door.

"Yeah." I reply.

"Okay. Your mum is determined to get you on this date. Remember that time in middle school when she was adamant that you would be class president?" I shudder.

"Uh huh."

"Yeah, it's like that. I recommend that you go, and if you don't like her, leave after a bit and disappear to the park or something." He says smartly. I think it over.

If it's like the time in middle school, I have no choice, but this time I can ditch.

"I'll do it." I say quietly.

"Honey! He's ready to go!" Dad yells. I hear mum and Nudge squeal.

"Thanks sweetie! Fang, get into my car!" She yells.

I grudgingly open the bathroom door. Dad mouths good luck, I roll my eyes. Dragging my feet down the stairs and into the car, I let mum ramble.

"Yay! My little boy going on a date! Iggy told me all about her. Very nice by the sound of it. Said she looks like… hotness personified, and very, very interested in you. Always a good sign. Now, I want you to act like a gentle man, you know pull-"I zone her out at this point.

I look out the window and watch the world go by. Due to the heat, all of the girls from toddlers to old ladies are either in bathing suits, bikinis or flowery dresses.

Disturbingly enough, all the old ladies seemed to have opted for the bikinis. I may never look at a hot girl in minimal clothing again.

Now, if that girl was Max. I would mind. Not one bit.

"-And then I want you to call the first grandchild Maggie and the other one-"

"-Mum!" I yell.

"What?" She says confused.

"It's only a first date. Nothing more! Got it?" I say, rather disturbed.

"Fine. But if you do have little babies, one has to be called Maggie, got-"

"-Got it!" I yell, rushing out the car while I still have some of my male dignity left.

I enter the place. It's very fancy, very posh. I begin girl hunting. Iggy said she was called… Umm… Claire? No… Bridgette? No… Brianna! That was it!

Just as I have the though cemented in my head, a purring erupts in my ears. Either Brianna is here, or somebody snuck a cat in.

"Hey Fangie." The voice says. I'm going to assume it's Brianna. Turning around, I'm greeted but a decently pretty girl, in very minimal clothing, but heavy make up.

I wonder what Max would wear if we had a first date. Probably old jeans and a grubby top.

"Well?" She demands in a nasally voice.

"What?" I ask.

"For a start, aren't you going to say how wonderful I look?" She hisses. I scan over the mini dress and high, high, high heels.

"Wasn't planning on it." I say casually. She looks ready to slap me. I wouldn't have minded. I could have left and told mum she was abusive and all.

"Hello, welcome to Falling Birds Restaurant. How may I help you?" A dude asks. He looks around thirty, maybe slightly younger.

"Yeah, reservation under Fang." I say quietly. He frowns at my choice of name, but begins to scan the reservation book.

"I'm very sorry. We have nobody under the name of Fang registered. I'm going to have to escort you out." He says in satisfaction. A though pops up in my head.

"Wait, check… His High Lord of Fangaliciouness." I say grudgingly. The guy gives me a strange look, but does as I say.

"How peculiar. You have a reservation. Right this way." He says annoyed. I smirk. Trust that little back of insanity called Iggy.

The guy leads us to a candle lit table, at the back of the place.

"Is there anywhere less secluded we could sit?" I ask worried. The guy shoots me a look.

"Of course! Don't worry! I'll just kick out Taylor Swift and give you her table! While I'm at it, how about I sing, and perform deadly stunts, merely for your entertainment." He says leaving us alone.

"So." I say, sitting down. Brianna stays standing, hand on hip.

"Well?" She says.

"Well what?" I ask.

"Aren't you going to pull out my chair for me?" She says.

"No." I reply bluntly.

"Ugh!" She cries, thankfully sitting down herself.

"So. Why are you here?" I ask, picking up a menu. She does the same.

"Oh, I've had my pretty little eye on you. All it took was giving your friend, Piggy? A little action in a closet for him to happily arrange this." She says all this looking very pleased with herself.

"Oh." I say. More worried than ever.

"Waiter!" She yells. She gets some pissed off looks. But sure enough, a block comes running up, check book in hand.

"What can I do for you?" He asks.

"Well, I'll have the ceaser salad, hold the dressing, and hold the chicken. Then I'll have a glass of diet water." She says in her nasally voice. I can't help but give a tiny chuckle. Diet water? Seriously? How dumb is she? I wonder what Max would say to that.

Actually, I can imagine what Max would say to that. But we're keeping it PG.

-_Time Skip-_

"And then I totally put her in her place for dropping me. Let's just say she didn't dare show her face for a very long time." She says with a laugh so high, Iggy's dolphin collection could hear it.

I hurriedly gesture to our seventh waiter for the bill. All the others either quit, or stormed out of there like a battling ram.

"Thanks! I say grateful to get out of there. Brianna pouted yet again I swear, one day the wind will change direction, and she'll be stuck like that forever.

"So Fangie! We have to do this again! Like! Oh my god! Then we can get married and all of that!" I squirm in my seat.

_-Time Skip-_

I pull open yet another letter from Max. Smiling at the writing, obviously, she's very annoyed with something.

_To the Devil they call Fang._

_I am very glad to have sarcastically hurt your feelings! In fact, I'd be extremely happy to do it again! And again! And what the hell? Again!_

_Well! I'm still a more badass ninja than you! So screw on that! And I bet you don't know the secret Cree! I'm so amazing, they let me invent it. So hah!_

_Hmm, if we're not going with cute, then we're going with ugly. Take your pick. Cute as a button, or ugly as a grandma's bottom. Hey! That kind of rhymed._

_Twitter? Why are you using the power of birds? And I'm still invincible. Just because I dislike Sporks, does not mean they are my downfall. I don't have a downfall. So hah!_

_Gross Fangums! Who would want to marry you? That's like… Marrying my dad. Insert shudder. _

_Fang, funny side? Nope, co comprende. Those words just don't fit together. Just like me and pink. Or Ella and niceness. Or Jeb and respect. Or, oops. I'm rambling._

_I have plenty of subtly! I'm positively oozing subtly!_

_Hmm, my day today? Oh! I got to be a spy! I went all out and everything. Or maybe when I stood up for somebody, who then was s total moody cow. Or is this meant to be nice things that happened? If so, then I'm going to go with the spy thing. _

_My first love? Well, umm, I've never… actually been in… Love. I like Dylan and all! But it's not the L word. I don't think at least… Curse you and your knack at making me think!_

_Yay! Time for me to ask a question! Oh… I can't think of one… How about… Favourite riddle? Mine, at the moment is: How many numbers have the letter A in them, form one to one hundred? The answer in none. Think about it! It's really weird!_

_Lots of Fake love,_

_Max_

_P.S- I, Maximum Ride, take an oath; to never love Fang I Don't Know His Last Name. There! Hah!_

I roll my eyes at her letter. Max like as always. Chuckling for real this time, a strange thought comes into my mind. One that makes me freeze in a second, and drop my pen.

I, Fang Jones, may just be falling for the indestructible, untouchable, utterly hilarious Maximum Ride. Sarcasm and all. My obsidian eyes wide a small bit.

Letting out a strained chuckle, my head is working overtime. Attempting to process this information.

I am in deep crap.

Shaking it off, I pick up the pen, and begin to reply. Keeping very normal. I have a feeling if Max found out, she'd run a mile.

_To the other Devil they call Max._

_Admit it! Fake hurting me caused you much pain. So much your-_

**So what did you think? I dropped some Fax in there! Enjoyed writing it way too much. My last answer, never been in love. **

**Question time… okay, this is a bit boring so I'll put two, please answer both! Especially the first.**

**When Linked by a Pen is over (sad thought), and I write another story, would you read it?**

**All time favourite book couple?**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	19. Robot's wWith Cheer

**Hey Guys! (Hey guys! In Danish).**

**Okay, to start off, I am honestly, really, really sorry! It's been an ongoing problem. I have WAY too much going on, and this was kind of pushed aside.**

**Second, if you haven't given up on me and are reading this, I love you to the bottom of my heart! Yay for mush! But honestly, it means a lot.**

**This story is starting to wrap up, not sure hoe much longer, but I'll gove you a warning when there's like, five chapters left. **

**And thirdly, I want to shout out to : Fluffy Bunnies Are So Cute (who I'm beta-ing for), and ****Amaya Calypso Yuumei who have been helping with the whole motivation.**

**Pa Med Kapitlet! (On with the chapter! In Danish).**

_Chapter 19_

Max POV

"Max! Come on, I need the bathroom! " Ella hollers, hammering her fists on the door. I squeeze my eyes shut, and breath in and out. Just like the Dali Lama.

"No way in Hades am I coming out in this!" I yell. An explanation is in sort I believe.

So, last week at school, I was punished. And this punishment involved doing something for extra credit or something. So I got signed up for, wait for it, it's hilarious.

I, Maximum Ride Queen of Badassery, and officially a cheerleader.

Yes, a cheerleader. It's both humiliating, and jaw clench worthy. And it doesn't help that the only cheerleading I've ever seen is when Ella watches a show called something like Happy, or was it Excited? Glee! No! It was Glee!

So, limited to none.

Not only that, but I have to wear the uniform around school.

Now, I understand that cheerleading is a hardcore sport, and all professional and such. But at my school, not so much. Also the uniform isn't my… cup of tea.

A scarlet miniskirt with pleating that hits upper thigh. Very upper thigh. A little back story behind the skirt. It was meant to go to mid thigh. But due to the whole "Max is abnormally tall for a girl' thing, I have one way to small.

Onto the top part. It's got the same back story as the skirt. Same red, but a singlet sort thing. Very formfitting, with the school logo on the front. It shows my belly button and stomach.

"Max! It isn't that bad!" Ella yells. She's all annoyed and bitter because she's not on the squad.

"You're only saying that so you can reapply your lip gloss." I say. I hear her stomp her foot, but she walks away. Popping open the door, I poke my head around.

Coast clear.

Slinking out like a cat, I manage to make it outside. Hiding in my car, I press my foot hot on the accelerator.

_-Time Skip to School-_

Pulling up, I groan at the amount of cars there. Couldn't there have been some big epidemic that wipes out the whole school? Why are there so many people here anyway?

Then it hits me. There's a game tonight that Dylan's. This would usually be fine. I'd make up some excuse about being ill and not go. But I'm a damn cheerleader. And cheerleaders tend to cheer at games.

In front of the whole school.

Yay.

Knowing I'll have to face it sooner or later, I get out of the car, and grab my bag. Breathing in deeply, I attempt to ignore the thudding in my chest.

I'm Max. I can take down men twice my size without getting a single scratch, and here I am, terrified of a little attention. Stop being silly. I tell myself. Nobodies going to notice.

With this in my head, I stand up tall. Pulling my long blonde-brown hair over my shoulder, I walk into the noisy hallways.

Well, they were noisy.

As I open the doors, it falls silent. Pin drop silent. All heads turn to face me, just like they would if this was a horror movie. I glare at the people who wolf whistle, and walk down the corridor to my locker, trying to ignore the whispers that follow like a bee.

"Who's the new girl?"

"Man, she's fine!"

"I just wanna get her in the boot of my car."

"Who's the slut?" I whip around and everybody looks at me again.

"Just shut up! I can hear you! One more comment and I will catastate the whole god damn lot of you." I yell.

"Max? She's Max! That's Maximum Ride!" Somebody yells. Hissing, I walk to my first class, locker forgotten.

"Hey babe. You, me and a whole lack of clothes. You in?" I turn to give a full death glare to some brown haired jock. He flinches, and I step foreword, all up in his grill.

"If you even think of me in that way, my god I will kick you so hard your manhood falls off." I hiss. He nods in a terrified manner, making me smirk.

"Terrific. Now get the hell out of my way." I say, pushing him aside. As I continue marching in my very intimidating way, somebody shoves into me.

Okay, I've officially had enough.

"What the hell?" I yell at her. Yes, I can guarantee it's a girl. Judging by the force of the shove, which wasn't very hard. You can imagine my complete, lack, of surprise when I see the mop of bright red hair, straight out of the bottle.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" She shrieks shrill. I raise an eyebrow at her, and she attempts to glare back at me with her green eyes. A vomit green, I decide.

"You heard me! What the hell do you think you're playing at?" I demand. She looks me up and down in a dismissive way.

"Me? What about you? Do you honestly think you can pull of this whole 'I'm Max and I'm going to be a cheerleader' thing? Well missy, I got news for you! You aint taking what's mine, and if I have to 'accidentally drop' you during practise, then so be it!" She snarls.

"You little cow. I don't give a flying damn about what you say! And if you try anything funny, I'll hurt you so bad you'll wish you were never born." I hiss, and march off.

That went well.

_-Time Skip-_

"And a one and a two and a three!" Some coach yells. I roll my eyes at her. Annoying little-

"Max! Focus!" She shouts in my direction. I purse my lips, but comply.

The too small skirt threatens to rip as I swing my leg up in time with all the other girls. They glare at me viciously. Guess I kick higher than them. Sad sacks, I scoff in my mind.

"Max! Smile!" The coach says. I place a bitter, fake smile on my rosy lips, and I can see her counting to ten in her head. I'm that good.

We all start marching on the spot with our arms swinging. Moving quickly into a diamond like we practiced, I roll my eyes as Lissa discreetly shoves a girl away from the front spot. When we have all sidled into place, we stop and wink. Cue vomit.

A few girls do handsprings in the front, while we do some routing that involves going on our knees and waving our arms in the air. Trying to clamber up gracefully, I spread my legs shoulder width apart.

Placing my hands theatrically on my hips, I swing my head and let it dip. Rhyme alert! Well, almost.

I peek through my eye lashes to make sure I'm in time with everybody else. They all look up in robotic like sync at the coach for approval.

I sigh and relax my stance, noticing with smugness how tall I am compared to the rest of them.

"Alright ladies! Lissa! Swap with Emily at the back; don't give me that look young lady! Now Max!" My head snaps up as she looks at me thoughtfully with hawklike grey eyes.

"Max, swap with Emily." She drawls with a smirk. My eyes widen. The head cheerleader goes at the front of formations, or so Lissa demands.

"What!" The devil herself shrieks unhappily. I smirk at the coach.

"Gladly." I say. Well, this'll be fun.

_-Time Skip-_

"And a one and a two and a one two three!" I yell. Yep, Coach said I have to do the count in because I'm at the front. It's like being head cheerleader without the title. Lucky me.

"Max! Concentrate!" The coach yells. Further investigation shows her name in Judith Iyer.

"Yeah, yeah Judith." I yell back. She rolls her eyes, obviously annoyed at the principal's decision to stick me on the squad. Well Miss Judith, I don't want to be here either.

"Now girls! Huddle round!" Like sheep, or robots, they form a circle. Robot sheep!

I look around, and making sure I'm the last one to conform, I walk over. Short skirt swishing with in time with my steps. Oh the joy to be had. Joining the circle, they reluctantly make room.

"Okay, great. Now, this game is important. It decides the fate of the team this season. And what do we do?" She asks. Some of the thicker ones look around confused.

"We cheer." I finally say.

"Thank you Max. Yes, we cheer our team to victory. I want no mistakes, no stumbles, and most importantly, I want cheeriness. You got me?" She yells, they all yell in response. Shrieking and jumping up and down, I roll my brown eyes, and walk out to get changed.

"Gotta love life." I mutter.

_-Time Skip-_

"The lights go down, so we come, out, out to play." One of the girls, Lilian I think, hums quietly. I can tell she's nervous. Being one of the new ones, this is her first really big game. Her fists are clenched and she's almost shaking.

Sighing, I walk over and tap on her shoulder. She shoots up, eyes wide. I sit down next to her, blonde hair bouncing in the high ponytail Val made Ella do before I left the house. I'm used to Angel getting anxiety and coming to me instead of Val.

"It'll be fine you know." I say in a low voice, like I was talking to an injured animal. She looks at me in confusion.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter really, this year and we're out. "

"I'm not following." I sigh, and look her in her sapphire eyes.

"If the team loses, oh well. If you fall, who cares? And if we all look like plonkers, then everybody who dares boo us, can go and just screw themselves." I whisper. Others look at us weird. I raise an eyebrow at them.

A small chuckle makes me avert my attention back to Lilian.

"You're really something, aren't you?"

"I try." I say with a satisfied smirk.

"Thanks. It's just this is the first time my mum has made time to come and watch us cheer. So I need it to be perfect." She says.

I shove her shoulder gently.

"You'll do great. Just relax." I say, and walk back to my bag. My own heart beginning to speed up as I hear the crowds.

No Max. Who gives a damn what they think. It's unimportant. You don't get stage fright. Your Maximum Ride the Invincible.

"Three minutes girls!" Judith informs up, popping her happy little head through the door. I wince at the squeals that follow. With my hands clammy, I rummage through my bag, looking for something to do. I frown as I feel an envelope.

Pulling it out, I smile as I see Fangs familiar writing. Doing something that oddly enough, I know will calm me down, I open it again.

_To the Lovely Max,_

_You wish you hated me that much! I'm seriously hurt though! That cut's pretty deep. Sarcasm. And a lot of it. _

_Actually I do! The seventh dimensional secrecy statement is as follows: A quick kill is a good kill. Take that! And the eighth is: Theatrics only lead to downfalls. Bam!_

_I am ANYTHING but cute! Hot, yeah. Not-_

"Show time girls!" I look up from the paper.

Walking out with an odd newfound confidence I stroll through the archway into the roaring crowds and the over lit stadium.

Curse that too hot to trot Fang.

_-Time Skip-_

"And a one, two one two three four!" I shriek. The brass bands start up and we all begin waving our pom poms. With out team in the lead, everybody is feeling pretty good.

With no patience for glitter spray or peppiness, I am seriously bored.

I begin to swing my arms and jump back as some of the tumblers spin past me.

The break ends and the match commences.

"I don't know what you're playing at, but your little Dylan seems to have his eyes elsewhere." Lissa hisses. I look up at her fiery eyes and matching hair, and I smirk.

"Oh darling. At least I have a boyfriend you jealous little-"

"Max! Come on!" Judith yells.

I look over my shoulder to wave at Dylan, who is now out of my sight in the confusion on the field, oh well. I can talk to him after the match. I think happily.

_-Time Skip-_

We won, by the way. Not sure about the score, but it was pretty close.

Everybody was happy, and excited, and there was a party. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Max! Party at Michaels!" Somebody yells. Shrugging, I follow, not really feeling like going home yet.

I walk around for a bit, now in a pair of skinny jeans and an old baggy t-shirt. It's not hard to find the place, with the thumping music and crowd's spilling out onto the pathways. The tang of liquor lingering in the air.

Shrieks fill the darkness as I slowly edge up the street towards the large house.

When I arrive at the doorway, I sigh, and wonder why I'm here in the first place. Strolling inside, I look out for Dylan, who hightailed after the match. People pat me on the back, completely drunk. While I debate leaving after half a minute.

I giggle, yes giggle as somebody starts dancing on the table, making a plonker out of themself.

Then I saw it.

And I saw him.

And I saw a girl.

And they were kissing.

_-Time Skip-_

I'm not proud of what I did afterwards. But I can assume you can guess the rest.

Heres the censored version of what I did afterwards.

I stormed over, and pulled them apart. Them being Dylan and none other than Lissa. I guess I may have punched them in the nose. And I may have flipped, and there's a possibility, a slight possibility, that Dylan has a broken arm.

Don't worry, I'm not heartbroken. I'm not going to go off the rails, and date some jock to make him jealous. No, I flipped because I was angry.

Angry because he had humiliated me. He made me look like a little doll he strung along, while he got his kicks off other girls.

But I'm over him. Over her, and over the whole damn thing.

Which totally explains why I'm burning all his pictures with a lighter. And why I'm grinning like a maniac. But this is how I deal. I move on.

I quit cheerleading, and handed in the uniform. It turns out I knew absolutely nothing about the sport. I broke up with Dylan, breaking him in the process.

"Max! Mail!" Val yells.

Unlocking the door, an excited Angel squirms in through the small gap the door has been opened.

"Hey Maxie! I lost a tooth!" She squeals, running out, and waving her prize. I look at the letter. Nothing special, quite short. I open it slowly.

_To the other Devil they call Max._

_Admit it! Fake hurting me caused you much pain. So much you're writhing on the ground in agony. I can picture it not. _

_Okay, Max. There is no Cree. They lied to you. You made it up. _

_Well, if I was picking for you, most defiantly ugly as a grandma's bottom. So, don't worry. You'll grow used to it!_

_Are you a hermit? You don't know what Twitter is? What about Facebook? Myspace? I swear, there's something wrong with you._

_Why marry your Dad when you could marry me? _

_Or Max and smartness. Or Max and dresses. Or Even Max and Fang. _

_My day… I got pulled over by a cop. That was pretty fun. Or maybe when I blew off a date. _

_Riddle? Well… There was a butcher's assistant. He wore size nine feet, and was six feet tall. What did he weigh? Meat. _

_Question? Saddest movie you've ever seen. The Notebook for me. I have a sister. Don't judge!_

_Until next time Maxie dearest._

_Fang,_

_Fly On._

_P.S- Sure Maxie. Sure._

That little twat!

Who I admit I am a bit fond of by now. Wait! Backtrack! No I'm not! That was the 'Dylan Just Cheated On Me' talking. I began penning a reply half heartedly.

_To Fang. _

_Oh well. Whatever floats your little emo boat-_

**And there we have it! I'm not sure it was the same as my other writing. My head's still in NaNoWriMo mode. **

**My all time favourite book couple… Wes and the main girl from The Truth About Forever (by Sarah Dessen). **

**New question… Favourite movie at the moment.**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	20. Oh The Fun To Be Had

**Shalom! (Hello in Hebrew)**

**Okay, so if I still have any readers, then I'm so, so, SO sorry! I just moved house, and area, and school, and all that stuff. So, I haven't had much time on the computer. **

**Second, there's only like, 5 chapters left! And I'm not doing a sequel. But I have a few stories that I want to write. But I'm not sure when I'll get those started.**

**So, I don't know 'On with the chapter!' In Hebrew, so… Enjoy!**

_**Edit- Sorry! There was a malfunction, I forgot to get the proper chapter off my memory stick. I'm really sorry. And The next chapter should be really soon.**_

Chapter 20

Fang POV

"Fangums! Let's go partying partying yeah! Partying partying- Oomph!" He squirms, trying to get out of reach of my hand, now placed over his god forsaken mouth.

"Iggy. I, am not, repeat not, going to some lame ass party with you." I say firmly. Removing my hand from his pale face, he glares at me. Shrugging, I pick up my backpack and walk off. Oh, the joy.

_-Time Skip-_

Whilst we enter the scary mind of Fang, can I just say, why am I always being a) Locked in a bathroom of some sort, b) Being ordered around by Iggy and mum?

Because, that's what happening right this moment.

Oh the irony.

"Fangtard! Get your ass out of that bathroom, and do what Iggy and mom say!" I guess Nudgie joined the party.

I can hear some rambling, so I put my ear to the door. This bathroom is getting far too familiar.

"No…"

"Come on…"

"Bet?"

"Fang! Listen to Nudge." Iggy orders.

"Fangie! I have a date to the party. So mum says you have come to supervise." She says shortly.

I freeze up.

"You aren't going on that date." I say. I hear a snort.

"You wanna bet?" I sigh, yet again.

"Okay, I'll go."

_-Time Skip-_

"Why doesn't she like me? I mean, seriously! What does Dylan have that I don't?" I ramble. Iggy groans, and pats my shoulder.

"Fang, dude! You've never met this chick! Just get over her already!" He says. I roll my eyes. He wouldn't know.

"Ugh! You're no help! How am I going to get her?" I mutter.

"Maybe, I don't know, meet her!" He flips. I glare at him, and pause. Pulling the car over, I look at his shadowed face. Marred with annoyance.

"What did you just say?" I ask slowly. He raises an eyebrow.

"You should meet her. Then woo her." He says.

Thoughtfully, I pull back onto the deserted road.

"Turn left." He says. Pulling left of the gravel fork, I wince at the sudden noise.

_-Time Skip-_

"I'm sexy and I know it!" The crowd yells. I look around for Iggy, only to remember the reason I actually agreed to come.

"Nudge." I say o myself. Wandering through the drunken crowds, I see every person I've ever known, except for little old Nudge.

Some dude slams into me, I slam him back and he look up at me. I take note of his features, a little habit I've developed. Blonde buzz cut, decent muscle tone.5'11. Not a problem.

"Oy! You that fang dude?" He slurs. I nod grudgingly, still scanning around.

"Hey bro! That sister of yours is hot man." I snap onto him, glaring swords, he flinches. I step foreword. I guess I'm just a smidgen over protective.

"Where is she?" I ground out. He looks shocked, but points up the stairs. I thunder in that direction.

Passing rooms, I don't hear her voice anywhere. The sound of dry heaving catches my attention. I cautiously walk into a brightly lit bathroom.

A white blonde head is over the lid of the toilet, the rest of her plonked on the floor. Holding up her hair is none other than a sighing Nudge. I pause, not sure wether or not to enter. It looks like a bit of a girl moment.

"Marlie. We've talked about this! You don't keep drinking when you feel pukey. Come on; let's go find a ride home." I cough, and they both turn to look at me. I raise an eyebrow at the amount of make up they both have on.

"In the car you two." I say. Nudge smiles at me. Her shorts are way too short, barely covering her bum, and her singlet is a bit too skimpy. The heels were too much though.

"Hey Fang! Meet Marlie! She got a bit carried away. Iggy told me she's in your year, but I can't get a straight sentence out of her. See! I told you it was a good idea to come. How long have you been here for? I hope your car isn't stuck because that would su-"

"Nudgie! Shhh!" Marlie hisses. Nudge slaps her own hand over her mouth, making me smirk. Nudge pulled up Marlie, and I showed them to my car. Marlie, obviously drunk off her bonnetfell to the ground. I rolled my eyes at Nudges doe ones, and swung the girl over my shoulder, fireman style.

"Thank you Fang! I really like Marlie! She isn't usually like this, but her boyfriend broke up with her, and she got asked out by some guy you know, and she had enough. So I brought her with me, but then she got really drunk, so I figured-"

"Fang Jones! You are a dead man!" A guy thunders. Venom obvious in his voice.

"Could this night get any worse?" I mutter to myself.

Turning around, my eyes widen considerably when I see a pissed off Iggy storming over.

"What the hell man" I ask confused. He takes one look at the unconscious girl n my shoulder.

"That man, that is low. You know I've like her forever! And now look at you! What did you do to her?" Iggy says. His voice a mixture of worry and anger.

"What's going on?" Nudge pipes up. We both look at her. I notice just how short she is compared to Iggy. Wait, off topic.

"Your brother here is making a move on the girl I like. After I gave him girl advice, not half an hour ago." He fills Nudge in, who takes one look at the situation, and bursts out laughing.

Not light giggling, not a tinkling sound or wind chimes. But gut clenching, can't breath, face red roars of hysteria. Me and Iggy look at her worriedly.

"Nudge? You feeling alright?" I say quietly. She swats my hand off her shoulder, tears streaming down her face. The party carries on, oblivious to our dramas.

"It's just… Iggy and… Marlie… and Max… And fang... and! Oh this is precious!" She wheezes out. Catching her breath at last, she corrects her posture and looks at Iggy smiling.

"Sorry! But you and Marlie! That's a match made in hell! She's all pyro, and I like having hair. But anyway! I brought Marls, and she got drunk off her rocket, I love rocket! But not the pollution kind! I like the kind you out on pizza! I want to see the leaning tower of Pisa! And-"

"Nudge!" We yell. Her face flushes red.

"Oopsies! Okay, so Marls got uber duber drunk, and she started to say she felt ill. But then her now ex boyfriend who cheated on her walked in, so we was all like nuh uh! And he was all like uh huh! So they argued and shiz! But then a girl walks up, and we had a bitch slap." She stops for breath, before lunging back in.

"Then Marlie is all like boo hoo! And she takes some dudes alcohol, and drinks that, and then mine, then she like, got big bottle of something, and was drinking that, but then she threw up outside, so I dragged her to the toilet, where Fang found us, then you, then here we are!" She giggles. And breathes heavily.

We all look at her with wide eyes, and she raises her eyebrow. I pointedly look at Iggy, to which he just smiles apologetically.

Well, hasn't thins been fun.

"Can we go?" Marlie pipes up. I turn too look at her, wincing at the green tinge her face has taken.

"Not in my car." I say. She giggles, which soon turns hysterical. As the tears start streaming down her face, I look at the others frantically.

"What?" I ask. As people look in our direction, I take the liberty of glaring at them.

"Let's just go Fangtard, let's just go." He says, humour in his voice.

-Time Skip-

"Nudge? I need help." I cautiously whisper to the neon pink door.

"Ooh! Can I finally give your closet that makeover?" She squeals. I glare at her through the door. Feeling pretty silly as I do it.

"Fang. Stop glaring at me through the door." She cries in a singsong voice.

"Okay. Sorry. About that help?" I question quietly. I can hear her giggling.

"Yeah? What about that?" She says.

"How do I make Max like me?" I say. To those wondering. Yes, it's a bit weird that I'm after a girl I've never met. But I really don't care.

"Come in." She says after a long pause.

Cautiously I swing open the hot pink door, wincing at the sheer amount of pinkness rampantly coating the walls of her room like a hot pink mouth swallowing me up.

"Okay she said thoughtfully here is what I want you to do".

_-time skip_-_

"Are you following it yet?" Nudge said impatiently.

Groaning, I put my head in my hands.

"No way am I going to wear guy liner" I exclaim. She raises her plucked eyebrows at me. I glare back at her.

"Look! You came into my lair; I'm giving you A+ advice! Speaking of plusses, there's a huge-osaurous sale at the mall! Like, omg! They over ordered, like that time when I bought three pizzas when I forgot to say I wanted them small and we like stuffed our faces like that kind of over ordered? But seriously there's this top and its like drool worthy and – " I slapped my hand hard over her gooey lips.

She huffs like a boxer dog through her nose. I raise a warning eyebrow at her and slowly remove my hand.

"You know what? I'm out of here" I say feeling annoyed.

Ignoring her giggled protests I slammed the lips of the mouth behind me and walk the walk of shame.

I am so whipped.

_-time skip-_

I pull the cap of the pen off with a tooth. Chewing on the end, I rip open the letter.

_To Fang._

_Oh well. What ever floats your little emo boat of sadness and blackness._

_It turns out they're not the only ones who lied to me. Crap! Didn't mean to write that! Umm, backtrack? I'm too lazy to start again._

_Well ain't you little Mr Sociable. Ha! Just pictured you in a sparkly pink ball gown, going to prom with some emo guy. Well I didn't. Thank the god's. That would have been pretty gruesome…_

_Trust me Fang. The way I'm going, I'm going to end up dying alone. What's that song? All by myself! Gotta love show tunes. Is that a show tune? Well, it is now._

_What happened in my day? Well, I got to cheer at the front of a game, then I went to a party. And found my backstabbing, two timing, rat of a boyfriend making out with a slut. Oh the joy to be had._

_Oh har-dee-hah hah. How funny._

_You saw the notebook? I have two sisters and I haven't seen the notebook! That Fang, SO takes away from your manliness points! For me, The Titanic. Being trapped like that would be… Horrible._

_My question. When's your senior prom? Mines in like... A week or so? Yay! Going solo!_

_Lot's of fake love,_

_Max_

That… Bastard! Who would cheat on Max! And right before prom as well! Ugh! And I can't do anything about it… Or can I? Feeling suddenly excited, I begin to write back.

_Hey Max!_

_Well what ever floats your ship of sarcasm and imaginary wit-_

**There it was! Not fantastic, but it's still something!**

**At the moment, my favourite movie is The Notebook. I saw it recently, and it's so sad!**

**Okay, what's one of your New Years Resolutions.**

**Oh! I wrote a one shot about Max and Fang on NYE. I would love it if you guy's could check it out, maybe review?**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	21. Max Meets A Wig Dude

**Wassup Homeys? (Hello guys! In cliché American movie gangsta.)**

**Okay, one of the last chapters ever! Sorry about the update speed. But I just moved house, and town, and my version of a state. Am going to a new school, and they thoroughly enjoy giving out homework. Yay!**

**Shout out to Architect Of Your Dreams for being really sweet. Maximum Melody for making me squeal. Black Hawk for making me laugh. Everyone who read chapter 20, even though I had technical difficulties, and everyone who reviewed, for making my day!**

**On with it dawgs! (On with it people! In cliché American movie gangsta).**

Max POV

Prom. Oh how I hate that word. And seriously, it's the only word I've been hearing.

On the way out of the bathroom-

"OMG! What if I get the runnies! That would be, OMG!"

In the lunch line-

"If you only eat the appetiser, and a cup of water at the dance, you won't like, totally bloat at the after party."

In PE-

"Yeah! Like, I've so just started the yeast-cardio diet. It's all the rage in Brazil."

Hell! Even is History!

"Is scoop neck too medieval? And sweetheart is like, so! Overdone!"

So you can imagine my utter… Joy! When Ella insists on my taking her dress shopping. Well, her exact words were-

"Maximum Ride! This is your prom, and you will wear a dress, and heels, and make up. No exceptions!" What a wonderful wake up call.

If I'm going to be honest, I was actually going to skip. With the whole 'Dylan and Lissa' being the hot couple. I'm not upset or mad and I haven't cried.

All I feel is betrayed. I told him all my thoughts, my dreams; I called him in the middle of the night when Jeb was on the phone with his 'Little Lady'.

Oh! Jeb! I almost forgot!

It turns out, he has a girlfriend. He had two jobs, to love lives. Two families! He'd go up there, lovie up with them, then come back here, and free load. And I'm Max, so I got mad.

Very mad.

Who wouldn't when they can hear their mum crying herself to sleep? Or your sister not being a cow to you. They both had a dead look. They relied on family too much. But you know, what are you gunna do?

So then next time he came home after work, he stayed for a few minutes.

And then left with bruised ribs, a broken nose, a black eye, and dislocated shoulder. Of course, he also left with some serious hurt in his, ahem, area.

But, not being satisfied, I got his mobile, called the other family, and filled them in. She sounded angry.

So all's well that ends well!

If only it were that simple.

Now I'm left with a verging on workaholic mum, and a sister whose making up for all the time she was relatively… Normal.

So that is how I, Maximum Ride, ended up in court. But I'm off topic, so let's just stick with how I got in court. We'll come back to the joy of senior dances soon.

_-Time Skip-_

"Max. Okay, just keep your cool. And whatever you do sweetie, just don't react to what ever they say. It'll only make more problems. Okay, sweetie?" I nod at Val. Confused at to why they're overreacting. This ain't my first rollercoaster.

But that's not important.

We walk into the large hall, and everybody directs their eyes to us. I raise an eyebrow in return as the others shrink behind, using me as their shield. Angel clings onto my wrist, freaked out by all the people.

Sometimes, I want somebody to be my shield. Just somebody to hide behind when I need it all to go away.

Head in the game Max! Don't go wasting your time on silly thoughts like that. You don't need anybody. Kapeesh? Good. We get to the front of the room, swear on the bible, and sit down with our supplied lawyer.

Turns out dad, I mean Jeb, is a big deal.

More like a big ass who would prosecute their own daughter.

What kind of sick bas- person does that? Oh right, the one in front of me.

"Miss Maximum Ride. You are summoned here today by Jebediah Ride, your father, on grounds of violent acts and hospitalisation. Please present your case to the jury." Some poncy dude with a diploma says to the crowd.

Yes crowd. Who knew the press were interested in some rich two timer who then gives his daughter a criminal record as payback for screwing up his happy little life.

Yay! Oh right, the jury.

Standing up, I wipe my hands on Val's pant suit. It's pinstripe, with tailored pants, a cami, and a fitted jacket. Of course, we mustn't forget the lime green converse. That raised some eyebrows.

Walking over the little podium, I waited for Wig Dude to give the okay to talk. HE nodded at me, and I launched into my tale.

"Hi, I'm Max. Look, the only reason we're here is because Jeb, had not only my mum Valerie, but also some blonde down in Michigan. When I found out, I snapped. He made my sisters cry, can you blame me? Not to mention-"Ella shoots me a look, saying to shut the hell up before I messed this all up.

"Thank you Miss Ride. Mr Jebediah please come up and present yourself to the court." Wig Dude say's in that annoyingly loud voice of his. Standing up smoothly, I manage to not slip over. As I pass Jeb, I shoot his a discreet glare.

Smirking, he sits in the seat I was in a second ago. I raise an eyebrow at him from my desk. Which he returns.

Game on.

_-Time Skip-_

"Maximum Ride leaves with no charges. While Jebediah Ride, is convicted with mental abuse. All in favour raise your hand and say 'I'. Wig guy says. I cross my fingers under my legs, and look around with a blank expression.

Slowly, a hand rises. Followed by another, followed by a large group. And eventually, almost every hand is raised. Smiling, I walk out, after the Wig Guy nods at us to go.

As I walk out, the door guy yanks open the huge… Doors… And I let out a sigh of relief as the wind whacks me in the face. Breathing in, I allow myself a second of peace before everybody catches up with me.

I yank of the jacket, and close my eyes.

Bliss.

_-Time Skip-_

Now that that's over, let's get back to the topic of Prom. And not by choice. In fact, I have as much choice, and I do right this second.

Where Ella's dragging me into my car to go, wait for it.

Prom shopping.

Kill me now.

"Come on Max! Mum said you have to! Capital H-A-V-E have to!" She says in her shrill voice, that never fails to burst my eardrums.

"No. I'm not going to prom. I don't have anybody to go with, and I hate dresses and dances and make up, and social occasions." I say, trying to be calm, while she practically tears my hand off like a zombie would a head.

"What's wrong with going solo?" She says. Who knew she was so strong. Oh, right. It's 7am on a Sunday. As in, I'm three quarters asleep.

"What's wrong is that I'd be standing in a corner, bored out of my mind." I state, injecting boredom into my tone. She smirks at me, and just continues dragging me into the car.

"I never thought I'd see the "Great Maximum Ride' scared of a little dancing!" She laughs, making me glare at her.

"You better watch you back." I hiss, causing her to laugh even more.

_-Time Skip-_

"Ugh! No way in Hades am I going out in this!" I yell from the dressing room. This is the… twelfth dress? Maybe the eleventh? And it's no better than the others.

As in, upper thigh, tight as skin, and far too low down in the upper region.

Oh the joy to be had.

"Max! Get out now, or I swear, I'll burn all your hoodies when we get home!" She threatens. Not doubting her one bit, I slowly pull back the drape. Glaring at her, she begins to laugh.

"Oh! You're so lucky! I wish I had that much-"

"Shut up!" I say loudly. Laughing, she hands me back all my clothes.

"I'm going home." I say grudgingly. I'm so, so not going to prom now. I decide with a vengeance.

_-Time Skip-_

"Oy! Noobface! Get over here! I found you a dress!" Ella yells up the stairs. Grumbling, I drag myself up from the letter that I was about to open. Cursing under my breath, I follow the sound of her squeals, only to be led to Val's closet.

Fun.

I can hear them all jumping up and down, clapping their hands. Well, maybe only Ella. And I'm getting off topic. In my head, and that isn't weird or anything.

Swinging open the door, Ella quickly shoves a mound of fabric behind her. Pink fabric, pink, sleek shin fabric. Kill me now?

"What are you doing?" I ask cautiously. Giggling, Ella pulled the Pink Pile of Death out from behind her.

"Try this on!" She exclaims. Raising an eyebrow, I slowly take it from her.

Holding in gags, I look at the blue meringue in front of me. It has frills, lace, and is a disgusting baby blue colour. Now, don't get me wrong, blue is one of my favourite colours. But think back to that day when you're finally a big kid at school.

Then remember that horrific, thick, knobbly sweater that your mum made you wear, because your great great something grandmother left it in her will for you.

Yeah, that sort of blue.

Looking up at their grinning faces, I raise an eyebrow.

"Uh. What is this?" I ask slowly. Trying to not hurt their feelings. They all frown in sync, only for Val to come out with yet another smile.

"It was my favourite dress at your age. I wore it to prom." She says dreamily. Sighing, I lift it up to the light, my brain whirring with ideas.

"Is it okay if I make some slight…? Alterations?" I ask. Val nods. I walk up to my bedroom, and get out the sewing kit.

_-Time skip-_

"Okay, this is officially hard." I grumble to myself, as I prick myself with yet another sewing pin. Lifting up the fabric, I examine my work so far.

Val is going to brutally murder me.

Once upon a year eight summer, Ella dragged me along to a sewing course with her. I sucked, she rocked. But I actually remembered some of the stuff we did. Which is why, the drab, motionless, one tone piece of icky is now… Kinda cool.

The hemline has been bunched up, moving it from calves to knees. And I added some tulle underneath that I found in the attic. I swapped the lilac bow in the wast for one of my leather, studded belts, and lobbed off the sleeves.

I took some paints, and splashed on some darker blues, making it look all watery colour. I changed the turtle neck for a sweetheart neckline. And the sleeves were spaghetti.

After adding some dark blue converse and taking my hair out, I looked pretty damn cool.

"Max! We're coming in!" Ella yells, from their position outside the door. I hastily added some studded leather bracelets, blue Lego piece earrings, and ripped fishnets.

"Okay!" I reply begrudgingly. As cool as the whole outfit looks, I seriously don't, want to go the hellhole they call prom. Or was it a ball? I can't remember.

The door slam open, and they all pile in, eyes wide.

"Max. What happened to the dress we gave you?" Ella asks quietly.

"Alterations." I reply confidently.

"Max, honey! You look… Nice?" Val says, not quite sure what to make of it. I feel my face falling as Angel wrinkles up her nose, but I catch it.

Show no weaknesses.

"Well! Thanks guys! But I best be off. Sleep and all that." I say chirpily.

"Max, its like, 6pm. And you haven't had dinner yet." Ella says, and my stomach grumbles in response.

The well timed ding of the doorbell nips my snarky comment in the bud.

"I'll get it." I say annoyed.

Ugh! I worked hard on this dress. They least they could do it be grateful that I'm going and making sure Ella comes back in one piece. And then they have the decency to totally diss the dress. Which looks rather damn awesome.

"Coming!" I holler, and the person at the door starts getting impatient. Swinging it open, I raise an eyebrow at the shocked looking Pizza Boy at the door. Recognition sparks as I note that he's from my fight club.

"Max! Gnarly outfit! You look like a total babe." He says confidently. Rolling my eyes, I point to the box of pizza in his hands.

"Oh, right. That'll be seven fifty nine." He says. Grudgingly, I take my wallet from my back pocket and give him some notes.

"Thanks." I say. He takes it, smiling at the tip.

"Hey Max! If you come to the dance, we should try dancing. Without the fists." HE says, adding the last part in an attempt at humour. Chuckling, I take my pizza and slam the door in his smirking face.

"Foods here!" I yell through the house. The sounds of footsteps being my reply.

Taking a few pieces, I begin to walk up to my room, and the forgotten letter, that had been discarded on my bed.

Putting the pizza to the side, I pick up the messy letter, and begin to read.

_Hey Max!_

_Well what ever floats your ship of sarcasm and imaginary wittiness. _

_Max, just tell me what happened. Please? I don't bite, contrary to what my name suggests. _

_Ugh! I'm SO much more a black satin cocktail dress. Ooh! One with little beaded detailing and a black feather boa. In some gritty night club, talking in a British accent. Oh, can we please ignore that last statement. Like, now?_

_I don't actually know if it's a show tune. Sorry to disappoint honey. And I'm sure, out there, there is some poor sap just dying to fall in love, get hitched, and have lot's of little Max's running around. Although, to be honest. I think I speak for many, many people when I say, one Max is one too many._

_Well, if he was willing to make out with a 'slut', then he wasn't worth it. And if you want, I can come over to New York and bash his face for you._

_My day… Well, I got dragged to a party, where my friend accused me of taking advantage of the girl he likes, who was stone cold drunk at the time, then I drove everyone home, and Iggy puked in my car. Yay._

_Oh Max. Sweet, naïve, innocent little Max. I'm so manly, in so very many areas, that nothing could take away my points. In fact, I'm in the top three in the country. In case you were wondering._

_My prom? Around the same. I think they're on the same day or something. _

_For my question. What are you wearing? Trust me; I would pay to see you in a dress. I'm going in a black tux. Fun._

_Fang,_

_Fly On_

Fang in a tux. Oh, that sounds rather… enjoyable.

Max! What's wrong with you? You don't fantasise anout how a pen pal you've never met would look in formal wear. No matter how nice it would look… Maximum Ride! Get your mind in place and reply!

Grudgingly, I do what my head tells me, and begin to reply. There might not be very many letters after this. Considering the school year ends really soon, and he probably wouldn't want to waste his time in collage writing to me. No matter how much I want to write to him.

Max! Focus!

_To Fang._

_My ship is so much bigger than your ship, it's-_

**Ta dah! Hope it was okay and in character. I couldn't picture Max's prom dress, so it's pretty vague. **

**My reply to last time. My New Years Resolution is to make at least one friend at my new school. I'm new, like, I started last week. So I'm to the point of eating lunch by myself! Yayness! **

**New question… What's the most amazing person you know like? It can be anyone!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	22. Wishful Thinkings Of The Emo

**Salve! (Hello! In Latin)**

**Okay, you have NO idea how sorry I am. Serious. I feel like utter crap. **

**I started a new school, the work is hard, the classes are hard, I have no free time any more. And then I look at my number (which have dropped dramtatically) and I feel pretty rubbish.**

**But! Enough about me, and my shiz. **

**How are you guy's? Anybody actually read these notes, drop a line saying so in a review. Only a few chapters to go. I'm thinking about adding in two little suprises at the end. When the story is finished as a thanks for sticking with it.**

**Now, I have a favour to ask. I love all my readers, but can we 'spread the word' as my teachers say, about this story? No huge thing, just ask a few people now and then to read it. I would CRY if my numbers increased. Serious.**

**Love you guys! (I don't know latin for one with it, or goodbye yet!)**

Fang POV

Chapter 22

Have you ever had that feeling that things could suddenly be bright, alright, and the world could be happy? That the streets would be lined with gold and random strangers would grin at you, happy to see you? Yeah, today? Not one of those days.

"Fangums! It's Monday! Yet your fit little bum out of that bed!" Somebody yells from the living room I imagine.

"Stupid family, stupid Monday and stupid effing-"

"Are you up?" Mum yells, breaking off my quiet mumbling.

"Yeh!" I holler back. Sliding out of bed, I put a top over my bare chest and hold back a yawn. Stumbling over to my wardrobe, I pull open the doors, and blindly grab a pair of jeans, and black top, that has some strange ass patter, topped off with a pair of converse. Nothing special.

Looking blindly at the wall planner on my… wall. I scan through to the day, and stop dead. In big neon, pink letters, placed on said planner by Nudge, is the obnoxious words' PROM!' Written on, you guessed it, tomorrow.

I'm screwed.

_-Time Skip-_

As I walk into school, I can feel the buzz of excitement in the air. The word prom floats around like a bee, flitting around from mouth to mouth.

Like a contagious disease, the symptoms being Orange- It is (the curious case of your skin going a luminous orange), Green-In-The-Face Syndrome (A case of which the male population looks oddly green, possible with nerves) and Spider-Epidemic (When fake eyelashes resemble tarantulas).

Even Iggy, who comes bounding over, looks excited.

"Guess what man! I've got you a date to prom!" He squeals, jumping on the spot. I raise an eyebrow.

"With who?" I ask slowly and cautiously. He's probably set me up with one of his cheerleader friends. Yep, Iggy joined the cheerleaders. It was a very grand occasion. His mother came to his first game and burst into tears, I think it was because she finally realised that no, Iggy will probably never move out.

It's amazing how fast senior year went. Feels like just yesterday that Nudge was waking me up, yelling how it was school. Or my teacher was giving me Max's address. And now look at us, applying for collage. About to go and do who knows what.

"The girl of your dreams. Thank me when we're older. Trust me." He says with a confident wink. Hah! He wishes. As whipped as it sounds, the girl of my dreams is the elusive Max. You get to know somebody after a year.

"Really now? Is she tall?"

"I think…"

"Is she sarcastic?"

"I'm pretty sure…"

"Is she sporty?"

"I guess..?" Iggy replies, unsure of himself. I glare at him, head in hands.

"You're not leaving me much room to work with!" I say annoyed.

"Trust me mate. She's a goodie!" He assures me with a self-assured smile, to which I grimace.

_-Time Skip-_

Me and Iggy. Sitting in a tree. Shopping for tuxes for Iggytard and me! I hate this. I'm so bored. Kill me now. I want to climb in a hole and die. I'm out of moronic phrases.

But serious, what's more boring than tuxedo shopping for a prom you don't want to attend, with a girl you don't know. Nothing, trust me.

"Fangie! What should I go with? 0.5 millimetres, or the 0.7 millimetres? Iggy asks me, worry in his voice. Raising an eyebrow, I look at the studs he's showing me. He got his ears pierced for the occasion. One is hot pink; the other slightly, very very slightly smaller, is neon red.

"The red one." I say annoyed. He shoots me a dirty look, knowing that I really don't care in the slightest.

Turning to face the rather pretty, but concerned looking attendant, he rolls his eyes. She shoot's me a 'Your So Hot I'm Going to Die!' faces, for unknown reasoning.

"Let's just go." Iggy says. I have to resist pumping the air.

_**-**__Time Skip-_

Standing in front of the full length mirror, I twist and turn in numerous directions, trying to get an idea what it looks like on me.

'It' being that thing of nightmares. The thing males joke about at lunchtime, teasing mates who are stuck going to prom in one, but secretly are eying up a girl, wishing he had the nerve to ask her out, and go in one with her.

It that thing that girls laugh about behind their hands. That you either look damn sexy in or like your mama dressed you. It brings a shudder to all normal guys, and is the most uncomfortable, itchy, tight thing in the world.

We call it 'The Thing'.

You call it a tuxedo.

"Mate! You look fine! Don't worry. "Iggy says impatiently. I look at him annoyed. He doesn't seem to understand the importance of the situation.

"Dude! Just hurry up! I already have mine." I look at myself in the mirror.

The shoulders make mine look broad, which is a plus. And the black sets off my eyes and hair.

And I sound like a girl.

"I'll take it!" I say, and more than just Iggy cheers.

_-Time Skip-_

"Fang! Take Nudge dress shopping!" Mum shrieks up the stairs. Groaning, I put down Max's letter.

"No!" I reply. Hearing them laugh, I know I'm done for.

"Hey, Fango! If you don't come, I'm going to go out and buy the sluttiest, most expensive dress I can find!" Nudge hollers. Making me freeze.

She wouldn't.

"Oh! But I would!" Did I just say that out loud…?

"Nope!" She yells. My eyes widen, and I look around, getting scared.

"Stop being a wuss and let's go!" She says. I begrudgingly gather up all of my stuff and begin to make my way down the stairs.

_-Time Skip-_

"How. About. This one!" Nudge says excitedly. I look her up and down.

The dress isn't quite modest but better than some of the others. It's a bright orange that suits her surprisingly well. The satin sheen of the material makes her skin look good. And the skirt is slinky and pleated reaching just above her knees.

The straps are about an inch wide, and the neckline is sweetheart. Not too low…

"It's fine." I say. She shoots me a glare at my lack of interest. So I shoot a glare back.

"I'll get this one." She tells mum, who discreetly checks the price tag. I cross my fingers that it's too expensive, and Nudgey has to buy something that makes her look like a nun. She shoots me a resigned look, and I shoot her a desperate one. But we're too late, as the tiller has already rang up the dress.

"Oh! Fang!" Nudge yells on the way to the car.

"What" I yell in reply, running to catch up.

"My date's coming over tonight. We're dating." She says. Making my body freeze. I officially hate being a brother.

_-Time Skip-_

The oh so wondrous sounds of Katy Perry singing about plastic bags fill my ears. I sit by the front door, feet tapping, and eyes glaring at the entrance, where Nudge is greeting her 'boyfriend'. Not that he'll live for much longer is he's at all a sleaze.

"Nudge! Bring him in." I say in my most threatening voice. I hear him putting up his coat. At least he isn't making Nudge do it. They walk into the living room, where I'm sitting comfortably on a big, imposing arm chair.

The punk is a smidgen taller than Nudge herself, and has dark skin, His hair is short, and spiked his eyes wide with fear, and he looks around.

Skittish.

As in he would run at any sign of commitment.

"Fang! Be nice!" Nudge hisses in my ear, sitting down on one of the couches. We can smell dinner cooking, while mum and dad potter around in the kitchen.

"So, what's your name?" I ask.

"Mike." He says confidently. So kid knows his own name. That's a start.

"Why are you taking my little sister to prom?" I ask.

"Because, I Uhm really like her." He says nervously. I roll my eyes, Rookie Mistake.

"Really now? And and why is that?" I ask, rasing an eyebrow. Nudge is shooting glares at me, of which I completely ignore.

"Uhm, she's really pretty, and nice and smart and funny…" He says self consciously. Nudge's ears go red, and I look at him intently.

"You commented on her looks first."

"Well, I'm looking at her right now, so it was the first thing that came to mind." I look at him, and smile.

"I like you kid." I say, strolling into the dining room.

_-Time Skip-_

Finally, I had managed to escape. My heart was already thudding at the thought of prom, tomorrow.

Max.

I wonder if she's going to prom.

I wonder who she's going with.

I wonder if she ever sits on her bed, thinking about me.

I wonder if I should go and.

No.

Stupid thinking.

She'd hate it.

She doesn't even know what I look like…

Her letter! I grab it from the bedroom floor and hastily finish opening it. It's the regular messy handwriting, only this time there's paint splatters all over it. Guess she was painting, Wow! Congrats Captain Obvious!

Your welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm.

I did not just have a sarcastic battle with myself!

This is a bad day for me. Oh! The letter, smiling ever so slightly, I begin to decipher the strange words.

_To Fang._

_My ship is so much bigger than yours, it_'s _not even funny. In fact, yours looks like a rubber duck next to mine. A boat shaped rubber duck. Yups. A boat shaped, rubber duck. Why not._

_Look. It doesn't matter. No biggie. Just some drama with my boyfriend hooking up with the school slut behind my back. And my parent's splitting up because my dad had another wife and life in Minnesoda, and I had to go to court because he prosecuted me for beating him up… It's been a long week._

_You wish you could pull of a cocktail sress! It's more for smaller, taller, skinnier GIRLS. Girls being the operative word. Not for some muscly, more developed, male. Crap. I probably just fed you already inflated ego. I'm screwed, oh well._

_No need to come and 'bash hos face for me'. Already done so! In public, in front of all his footie mates. And girls. And possibly his parents. It was a good moment._

_My day… Where to begin. Well, I got dragged to court for what, the third time now? Against my dad who prosectued me, he lost, in case you were wondering. Then I got taken to every slutty shop in the state, trying on equally slutty clothes. Then, it failed so I altered my mums old dress, rejected the pizza guy, and went to bed. It was quite exhausting._

_Top three what? Losers with no life? Hitting on people they've never met. If so, your number one Fangie. Number one._

_My proms tomorrow. Seriously dreading it._

_What am I waering? Well, I could try writing some drty little piece, explaining my undies, bra and lack of clothing… But that's boring. I'm in a pair of basketball shorts, with a plain white singlet. Slippers and the heating turned rather high. _

_My question. If you could go to prom with anyone in the whole, entir world. Who would you go with? And answer seriously. _

_Lot's of fake love, _

_Maximum Ride._

I close the etter with a huge smile on my face. Maximum Ride. Has a nice ring to it. Max-Imum. Ride. Miss Maximum Ride. And I can't help myself, Mrs Maximum Ride-Jones… Sounds rather...

Fang! Snap out of it! Your acting like some little, lovesick puppy.

I want to go to prom with you Max. But, alas. I'm going with some girl I don't know, while you prpabably hook up with your perfect dude.

Picking up the pen, I beign to reply.

_Dearest Maxie-Kins._

_My boat is the opposite of a rubber-_

**Hey! There we have it! Hope it wasn't boring… And that you actually read it to the end : )**

**Hmmm… I don't know who the most smazing person is… I'm goint to just say my mates back in QT. Miss you guy's!**

**New question… What are some ideas for future stories that you want to read, but don't want to write. I get them ALL the time, so frustrating!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	23. And Custard Is Made

**Gutentarg! (Hello! In german.)**

**Okay my pretties! Second last official chapter. Then I'm going to add two more fun things, and not what you'd think.**

**Second, I don't think I was too late this time? Not within the week, but within a fortnight, which is still crappy of me, but I've done worse.**

**Third, a serious thanks for all the support in school. If I have a rubbish day, I just go through the reviews from recent chapters, and I always leave smiling. No, but I adore each and every person who either reads or reviews my writing. **

**I think that's it… I love you guys! Amd I'm sorry my story went downhill at the end!**

**Oh! Thanks to everyone who reviewed saying they read the notes! I love that you guys do, because it feels more… Personal? This isn't scripted stuff, just whatever pops into my head!**

**Mit der Geschichte! (On with the story! In german!)**

Max POV

Gag.

Gag.

More gagging.

Vomiting behind the garbage cans.

It's that time of the year.

The time me and the whole male population dread and despise with a burning passion.

Prom.

Would you believe me if I told you that I used to look foreword to it? Giggle in the lunchrooms the weeks before. Bunk on the day to go get my nails done.

Except then shit went down. So I grew up. And I guess I'm still growing up. I don't want to go. Not in the slightest. But then there's Ella… My mind wanders.

What if I don't go and she gets into trouble.

What if I do go and Dylan causes a scene.

What if somebody hurts Ella?

What if I'm not there to protect her…?

Ugh! I hate all this worrying. Let's just blame Jeb, and get on with the story, before I drive myself criminally insane.

Well, more than I already am.

_-Time Skip-_

"Maximum! Come down here would you!" Val demands. I'm up in my bedroom, trying to read Fangs letter. Bit hard in this house.

"Two minutes!" I yell back.

"No! I want you here this instant!" She says, sounding hysterical. Sighing, I get up, before she completely flips. Recently she's been acting strange. I can't figure out why though, guess it's because Jeb left, which is a good thing. She was far too reliant though. And look where we are now.

"Coming!"

I run down the stairs, and find her in the kitchen.

"Cook lunch." She orders, grabbing her handbag.

"Why? I can't cook, and where are you going?" I ask, cautiously. She glares at me furiously.

"What? So now you dictate what I do with my life? Is that it! Why can't you just be grateful for once?" I raise an eyebrow as her voice goes higher and louder.

"Val! Chill!" I say, trying to calm her down. Not one of my strong points.

"No you little brat! I will not calm down! What do you ever do? Huh! You drove Jeb away from us! If it wasn't for you, we could be happy! Do you understand? You ruined everything!" She screams. I step back, wounded.

"What was that?" I say, trying to stay calm, but already failing dramatically.

"You heard me! You're a little slut! You come in, ruin things, and run away with your devil may care attitude! Why can't you just leave!" She shrieks.

"I am not a slut! And do you know why I act like that? Have you ever gotten over yourself for long enough to actually give a damn?" I yell. She glares.

"I don't want to live like this! I want a husband, with nice children! And what did I get? You!" She screams, hysterical. I step back, trying not to hit her. Her face is bright red, and hair askew, and mascara smudging. She looks more like the child than I do.

"How about you just act like mum for once? Instead of being so self involved!" I scream.

"Maxy?" A scared voice says, coming from the doorway. I spin around, seeing a distraught Angel.

"Come here bubba." I say softly. Angel runs up to me, and I easily pick her up in my arms. I can hear Val take a sharp breath. When I turn to face her, she glares at me.

"Come here Angie." She says, holding out her arms. Angel merely tightens her grip on my neck. I rub her back.

She looks at the two of us, and bursts into tears.

"It's not fair! My own daughter doesn't want to come to me. My other is a brat, and you just ruin everything!" She says, chocking on her breath.

"Get a reality check." I say. "Ange, go into Ella's room, I'll come to get you in a minute. 'Kay sweetie?" I set, setting her down gently, she nods, running off.

"Val. She doesn't come to you, because your not there for her. Everybody is scared, Not just you. But the thing is, you're the mom. You're supposed to look after them. Not just what you want." I hiss, poking her in the stomach.

She shoots me a dirty look, picks up her bag, and walks out. Guess I'm getting Ella ready for prom.

_-Time Skip-_

"Ella! For the love of sanity. Yes, that is too much make up." I say, groaning into my hands. Ella, however, is standing up in front of her full length mirror, appraising her view.

"Are you sure? Maybe if I just blot the lip gloss again…" Nodding, she picks up the tissue, and eats it. Well, I'm pretty sure she's isn't actually eating it. The things people do these days.

"Okay. I'm done!" She squeals, spinning on the spot. Her dress is a long, pale pink thing of doom. Sleeveless, with a frothy skirt. Val paid a small fortune for it. Her shoes are pretty high stilettos, in the same colour, and her makeup in very… Pink.

"When's your lift coming?" I ask. She pinks up her mobile with her perfectly manicured nails, and carefully types in a text.

"In… One minute." She says happily as her phone buzzes. Nodding, I go through her checklist.

"Money?"

"Yup."

"Deodorant?"

"Uh huh."

"Pepper spray?"

"Max!"

"Lip-gloss."

"And yes! There's my lift!" She squeals, picking her skirt and sprinting down the steps. I follow her to the door, make sure she gets in the car alright, and turn to face Ange.

"Maxie! Aren't you going to prom?" I look at her, and ruffle her hair.

"Nah sweetie. Cause then you'll be all alone." I say, picking her up.

"But you look pretty in your dress." She say confused. Laughing, I set her down on the stool in the kitchen.

"What do you want for dinner?" I ask, she pouts.

"I want to eat at Maggies!" She says, sounding horrified. Laughing again, I succumb and pick up the phone. Prom it is.

_-Time Skip-_

"Bye Ange! Have fun!" I yell as she climbs into the car.

"Thanks for this." I say to Maggies mum, she just gives me a small smile, and places her large hand on my shoulder. Here comes the pity party.

"It's alright dear. Not your fault your parents lost it, okay sweetie? If you ever need help, or somebody to talk to or anything, don't hesitate to ask. Okay hunny?" She says, I nod. Trying not to raise an eyebrow.

"Thanks', but I'll be fine." I say, trying to be polite. She gives me a 'knowing' look.

"Okay dear, have yourself a nice night!" She calls, clambering into the car.

Giving a fake smile, I walk back indoors. The lights are all off, giving everything a creepy look, despite the posh décor. Time to go marinade myself for the meat market. Oh what fun, it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh of doom!

Not one of my better jingles.

_-Time Skip-_

"It's all okay. You're not going to break the mirror." I whisper. Turing around slowly, I meet my eyes, and they drop.

I look like a Barbie doll.

No, I'm serious.

My skin looks too tan next to the blue of the dress, and my make up looks to pink and girly. My hair looks too blonde, and my legs abnormally long. Shuddering, I walk back into the bathroom, and scrub at my face. The make up doesn't want to budge. Worried, I pick up a few of the containers that I stole from Ella.

_Waterproof!_

_Won't streak, run, or budge! _

_24 hours!_

They all yell in bright, gross colours. Groaning, I give up on scrubbing, and just put a red lipstick over the pink stain, I think it's called. A bit better… maybe some black eye shadow? Putting that on, it's an improvement. Guess that'll have to do.

Aint it fun, getting ready for your senior prom!

I can't imagine putting myself through this by choice. Seriously, somebody explain it to me.

_-Time Skip-_

"Wake up in the morning feeling like p-diddy!"

"Make it stop!" I say in response. Please! I hurriedly turn off the radio. Damn Ella, and her damn disrespect for others. Oh, no, that's me.

I slide into the familiar seat, smiling ever so slightly as how cool the leather feels on my skin. Sighing, I shut the door, and begin to drive.

Wonder what Fang's doing…

Wait! No, I don't. I do not give a toss what he's doing. All he is, is a random, annoying, sarcastic, sweet, funny, caring, charming bloke.

What are you thinking Max! You may not crush on your pen pal. But if I were to… I look back towards the dark road.

Oh shit!

I pull to the left, throwing my whole body into the turn. But it's not enough, and my car screeches into the lamp post.

The sound of glass shattering fills my ears, and the car continues to move, the tail lights blowing as I go. My eyes are tight shut, screaming as loud as I can. White light flashes.

Heart thudding,

Hand shaking.

Silent.

It all stops as soon as it started. The silence is eerie. Too quiet. The world is still. Prying my eyes open, I take in the situation.

Face, fine. Body, fine. Car, should survive. Dress, fine but who really cares. The front and tail lights are long blown. But, I'm okay. I can see fine. No need to make a big deal. Breathing in deeply, I do what I always do. Suck it up and keep going, because if I stop. Who's going to pick up the pieces for me?

_-Time Skip-_

Breathe Max. Just breathe. Nobody's going to try and kill you. It's just prom. All that's going to happen is you're going to go inside, sit down quietly, draw no attention to yourself. Scare the people at your table away, eat food, come home, go to bed, pick up Angel, and graduate.

Okay, planned? All good. What's the worst that can happen?

Nothing.

Right?

"Stop being a wimp!" I yell. Passers look at me worried, before walking on faster as I glare samurai swords at them.

Breath.

One.

Two.

Three.

Open the door.

Cold air flushes my skin, and I look around worried. Nope, the parking lot is empty. I duck my head, blonde hair falling down in my face. Slyly, I slip off the high heels, and shuck on a pair of docs. My feet sigh in contentment as the cushion of leather replaces plastic death traps.

The wind pulls my dress in a million different directions as I set off towards the double doors.

Closer and closer the come.

I take note of the teenage boys standing by the doors as security, I half recognize them from fight club. Raising an eyebrow at them, they hastily lower their heads in respect.

Much better.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, meeting their gazes. The both blink fast, is there something on my face?

"We uhm… were having a rematch, and a teacher caught us. This or detention-"

"-And that was the last detention we could have gotten-"

"Before you got suspended?" I finish, the nod, looking at me in awe.

"Understandable." I say with a confident tone.

"Why are you going to prom?" They ask. I stop and think for a second. Millions of thoughts rush through my head.

"I'm not really sure. I just had a feeling…" I say. Smiling, the move aside.

"Good luck." They say in time. Grimacing, I go in past them.

People are shrieking, and flirting and dancing and making out. Nobody's going to notice me. It's a huge, old building. A ballroom from the look of it. Golden light strewn everywhere, and there's the school orchestra playing medieval tones.

Screams fill my eardrums, and testosterone is stronger than the overpowering perfumes girls are wearing. Catfights, hook ups, and from the look of it, cheating.

"You slu-"

"Eh Meh Gawd!"

"You look like-!"

"Get me a drin-"

Smiling to myself, I step out onto the antique double stairwell. Secure in the fact that I'll go in unnoticed.

Just my luck.

It goes silent.

A pin could be heard. I freeze as all eyes turn to me, one after the other. My blood goes cold as the girls snigger.

"Is that?"

"Omg! No way!"

"Dayum she's ho-"

"What a slu-"

"Who does she think she is?"

I feel tears pick at my eyes, and my breath hitch. The males look at me like a piece of meat, smirking as their eyes rake me up and down, despite the modest dress. The girls look at me like some alien intruder.

It's just me.

And I don't care.

I hold my head, and look them in the eye.

And I don't care.

Smirking, I walk down the stairs, not stumbling.

And I don't care.

I stand with a cocked hip, raised eyebrow, and a badass aura.

"What!" I yell sarcastically.

And I don't care.

I can't wait to bloody graduate from this hellhole.

Alone?

I don't blimming care.

Foot, foot, foot. Don't fall. There's my table.

Plonking down, rather ungracefully, I take out my purse to avoid all the stares and glares. Smiling ever so slightly as my fingers clasp on Fangs letter. As I pull it out, I half hear the music starting up again.

_Hello Little Miss Maxie!_

_First, I'm just going to apologize for the whole illegible part of this letter. I'm sitting in a car writing this. I'm going to post it in the next state we come to. _

_Boat shaped duck? Or duck shaped boat? Because let's all be perfectly honest, a duck shaped bat would just be a magical, magical thing._

_Max! Stop downplaying your life! It's why I'm here, mkay? Just, next time tell me. If you want, I can come and sort him out. And as for your dad, he didn't deserve you. Are we clear on that? No blaming yourself. Hell, I sound like a girl._

_Ego baby? Ego insinuates it's not real. I'm all real, real muscle that is! Nah, but let's be serious. I would very, very much like to see little old you in a cocktail dress. _

_I wouldn't expect any less of you Maxie! He sounds like a man slut._

_Why, may I ask, have you gone to court three times? Hell, do I even want to know? As if you'd let him win. Maximum Ride in slutty clothing… That's something I would love to see. I take back the cocktail dress. Minimal clothing galore. Poor pizza guy. I bet that hurt his ego._

_My day… Well, I was completely unaware as to the whole 'its prom! Yay!' aspect of the day, and then had to undergo major pain to my man points, and walk around a school of screaming, giggling girls. What else? Then it turned out my mate set me up with a date. Did you know my friend and your sister are pen pals? Small world. I got dragged around numerous shops for numerous reasons, bought a tux, interrogated a small person, got in a car, wrote this letter. _

_Pretty much my whole day…_

_As for prom? Knock them dead._

_Fly On,_

_Fang._

_P.S- Almost forgot to reply to your question. I'm in a black tuxedo with tails on the back, black dress pants and shoes, and if all goes to plan, holding up a sign._

Confused I put down the letter. Sign? I can hear sighs, and hitching breaths as somebody walks through the doors. Late. Why would he have a sign?

"Max?" A husky, masculine voice questions. I ready myself for taunting. Raising my head carefully, I look at the arrival that seems to have brought the female population to their knees . I gasp, is it? No, it can't be.

"Fang?"

**I know, I'm evil! Hope you liked it, and I'll have the last chapter up by next weekend, if not sooner. I promise! I never thought I'd be saying last chapter… Feels dream like!**

**Question time! Favourite fanfic of all time, and genre (as in I like Maximum Ride, and Maximum Ride crossovers, my sister is obsessed with Harry Potter ones).**

**I seriously love you guys!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


	24. Define 'Ending'

**Hey There Guys! **

**I hate to say it, but this is the last, ever, official Linked By A Pen chapter! Scary! **

**I've been working on this for longer than I care to say, and there's been highs, and lows, and complete rock bottoms. But the person I want to thank is the person whose eyes are reading this. Yep, everybody and anybody who's ever skimmed or read a chapter. Sent hate mail, death threats, long and rambly reviews. They got me through the rocks and everything I've had going on at the moment,  
>so thank you!<strong>

**But, before I bore everybody to death, if anything ever comes up on here, it'll be the bonuses I have planned for some point. No AN's or whatever's : ) **

**So, here's the last ever official LBAP chapter!**

**Max POV**

"Yeah… Hi?" He says with a smile.

My eyes widen considerably. Bloody hell I'm screwed.

He's hot.

Like, damn hot. With arms, and legs, and that face. That's a nice face. A damn nice face. And all that hair? What I wouldn't give to run my hands through all that black hair.

"What are you…? Why are…? Here. You live… Um. I like your hair?" I cough out. Going pink as I run through what my mouth just did.

"Thanks?" He says, holding in a laugh. As I look around, taking in my surroundings, I realise we have an audience.

"Mind your own bloody business!" I yell. Can't these people just give me a break? I glare at the girls who are just plain sneering at me. A quiet laugh catches my attention. I whip around, only to pause at Fang.

"You really are a piece of work. No wonder your solo. What am I going to do with you?" He says laughing at me. I look at him with a blank face. And heres me, getting my hopes up about a happy ending. His eyes widen as he takes in what he just said.

"Excuse me. I have to go. Sorry you drove so far to meet me." I say, charging off briskly.

He's just like everybody else. Insulting me, or controlling me. I pause. Stop over reacting Max! I turn to face him, ready to apologise. There's nobody there.

Swallowing my pride, I talk myself into walking back into the room. Only to come to the wonderful view of a red mound of hair, and a black mound of hair, making out like nobody's business.

Well then, I guess its cianara suckers!

And Fang? Yeah, screw you Fang.

**Fang POV**

It's decided. I'm crazy. What sort of person hijacks their friend's car, ties them up in the back, and drives across states? A lovesick person, that is.

"Fang! I'm not going to stop you, but seriously. I need to pee."

Groaning, I pull over. We won't get there till tomorrow. At least.

"Get out of the car then!" I say.

"Um. I'm kind of locked into the boot…" He says. Head palming, I unlock my door, and make my way over to the boot. Yep, the boot. I may have kind of locked the 'almighty Iggster' in the boot of his car… Whoops?

"Coming!" I call, unlocking the door. He clambers out, rather ungracefully. He raises an eyebrow, and I just shrug with half a smile.

"Sorry?" I say, a question in my voice. He glares, and walks off to the forest. I can hear him pee. Dude, please tell me I'm not blushing. A couple minutes later, he comes up, and walks to the driver's door.

"Iggy, what are you doing?" I say. He looks at me confused, and I just deadpan him in return.

"Driving…?"

"Nope, back in the boot." I order. Groaning, and grumbling under his breath, he obliges. Smirking, I lock the door, despite him pounding on the metal.

Pushing the pedal, I turn on the radio.

Foot tapping,

Head bobbing.

Here I come.

_-Time Skip-_

I pull over at a post office. I swear, Iggy has a bladder the size of a pea. But, I learnt it's painful to stand there while he… Goes. Walking in, I get strange looks from the tuxedo. Walking up, my heart is thudding with excitement.

I cant wait to see her face.

"Can I have a stamp…?" The old lady at the desk smiles at me.

"Sure honey." She says with a Texan accent.

"What class?"

"Air, or whichever can get there fastest."

"That'd be good old air sweetie. Now what style? We have oriental, Persian, Chinese, British, British American-"

"Just, plain normal." I barge in, getting impatient. She gives me a 'calming' smile. Not. Working. In a hurry here mam!

"Okay then. Now, what picture would you like?" Do I look like I care!

"Whichever you have on hand." She nods, and takes out a 2inch clear file, only to begin flipping through all the stamps.

"Oh! I remember when those were brand new to stock. Everybody wanted one. Even all the little boys began sending letters. Would you like to see honey?" She says her voice thick with melancholia.

"No thanks." I say.

"Really? They're splendid! They photography skill is right-"

"Fine then." I say in a hurried tone. Just get the message lady. She hands over her stamp book, kittens. Joy.

"The other page. Nobody wanted the kittens." She says. I let my eyes drift over, only to cough with shock. My eyes widen considerably.

The best-selling stamps were…

Playboy bunnies.

In stamp form.

No wonder the little pigs were sending letters all of a sudden.

"I'll just have the war admirals." I cough out awkwardly. She smiles, nods.

And page. By. Page. Begins to look for them.

Are you freaking kidding me! Just when I'm about to lose hope, she opens up to the page.

"How many?"

"Just the one."

"That's 75 cents sugar." Having learnt my lesson, I pull out the exact change, in big coins, and hightail out of there.

I bloody well hope Iggy's done on his 'loo'.

_-Time Skip-_

As me and Iggy drove on and on, I began to doubt my actions. Quite drastically. I mean, what if she doesn't like me? Or if she has a date after all? Or if she really is a creepy old lady with a fetish for 18 year old males. Sure, the last one is a bit farfetched, but still…?

But, what if she really wants you to be there? Or if she's as hot as you know she is (Iggy got me a picture of her from his pen pal, Ella, her sister oddly enough). And what if you meet, fall in love, dance the night away, get married, have lots of little you's and grow old together in a mountain top cabin, rambled my inner Nudge.

No, I'm totally serious, whenever I'm freaked out, a little mini Nudge pops into my head. It's kind of freaky.

"Achew!" A small sneeze catches my attention. A familiar sneeze, actually. I hastily put my foot on the break.

"Iggy." I say warningly, he looks up shyly from behind the map in the backseat.

"Please tell me you didn't." I grind out.

"Well, you see dawg. She threatened me! And she was all scary, and I was scared, and her eyes were glowing red with scariness, it was a scary moment for both me and Toto, so I-"

"James Iggenbert Lysander! You did not! Did not! Smuggle my little bloody sister into the car!" I all but scream, managing to keep my calm face on. Barely.

A shuffling behind my seat causes to turn around. A cliché blanket is covering up a small lump.

"Monique Jones. Get out here. Right. Now." I say, royally pissed off. A little black head pops out, to be followed by a nervous grin.

"Hey, bro! Fancy seeing you here! Come here, um often?" She squeaks. Closing my eyes, I breathe in deeply.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

_-Time Skip-_

"I can't believe you two." I say. Glaring ahead. I, to be honest, still have no idea how we got in this situation. The situation is as follows:

Iggy driving, Nudge shotgun, and me? Yep, you guessed it, sitting in the backseats.

Of. My. Own. Car.

"It's for the best Fangless! We wouldn't want you to crash due to reckless driving in your current state, it'd be pretty tragic. Imagine how Max would feel, she'd be all like, oh no! Fang, my dearest love! How I wish thee would just blink those huge eyes, once more, and smother my mouth with yours, and stick your slobbery pink tongue in my mouth like a labra doodle, and have little babies with me and-"

"Shut up!" I yell for the fifth time this ten minutes.

This isn't normal. I decide.

And it's just what I need when I'm trying to relax before I meet who, I'm pretty sure, is The One. Yep, I really need this right now.

Fang. Breathe.

In, out, in out, and open your eyes. They slowly flicker open, why's it so bright? Are we even-

"IGGY!" I roar desperately. No! I jerk to the side, seatbelt cutting into my neck viciously. The car pummels to a sudden stop, and I fly forwards, the world spinning.

Shit.

And then, it stops. My eyes re open, and I take note of how fast and hard I'm breathing.

"Everyone okay?" I rasp, worried. More about Nudge though, she's the smallest and if she was hurt-

"I'm fine!" She says quietly.

"Same." Iggy says in a low voice.

"I'm so sorry." He says worried. My eyebrow twitches up questioningly, we're all okay and-

"I hurt your car mat." He says, scared. Scoffing, I whack him on the back of the head.

"You're an idiot. Now, move your ass, and let me drive." I command, still shaken up. He does as I tell him and shuffles over.

Smart.

_-Time Skip-_

"Okay, now left here. There, there! Pull in!" Nudge squeals. I pull into a gravel driveway. Looks… Safe? Surely Max wouldn't live in such a cliché suburban type place. Well, she always says how she doesn't fit in with her family…

I can feel my usually chilled heart, race out of control, at the prospect of meeting Max. Slowly, and kind of surely, I walk up the driveway to the bright red door.

'Tap, tap, tap'. My fist bangs three times before I take the step back, just like the movies Iggy made me watch.

Squeals, and thundering footsteps sound towards the door.

3, 2, 1?

The door swings open, but nobody's there. Ghosts!

"Down here!" I sweet, innocent voice sound. I lower my gaze towards the smallest little girl I've ever seen stands tall and proud, bottom lip pushed out.

"Angela! Don't open the door!" I high strung voice screams from the kitchen.

Angela? That woman from the kitchen is most definitely not Max.

"Hey, are you Angel Ride?" I ask, kneeling down to her level. She squints suspiciously, looking me up and down.

This is so, Max's little prodigy.

Then, oddly enough, she gives me the biggest grin I have ever seen. Throwing her whole face into it. She even begins bobbing up and down on the spot.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew-"

"Knew what?" I interrupt. She looks up at me, except now with trusting eyes.

"I knew that Maxies prince would come." She says with a lisp. I give a low chuckle.

"I'm no prince. But I'm guessing you're her little sister?" She nods extravagantly, hair flying. "She's told me a lot about you. Where is-"

"Oh, hi there." Says a now husky voice. Standing up, I look at the girl in front of me. No older than seventeen, and yanking down her top furiously.

"Hi? My name's… Jackson." I lie quickly. She appears to take my quickness, as eagerness. Smirking, she pulls up her skirt.

"This is Lillian. She's my babysitter's daughter. I don't like her." Angel says, or rather states. I smile at her.

"Ignore the brat. Pleased to meet you Jacky." She says, lowering her voice with each word. She begins walking forward, so I walk backwards.

"It was really great meeting you Lillian. But I'm looking for Max." I say, trying desperately to get her to leave me alone. Why do I attract all the nut jobs? I mean, I ended up with Iggy for god's sake!

"Max! Max! Why does everybody give such a damn about the precious little Maximum Ride! What has she ever done? Cause fights? Ruin my little sister? Make me look insignificant? Why does everybody care so much about the little slu-"

"Um! Little kid behind you!" Angel sings. We both swing our heads to look at the little devil. And true enough, she's standing there with a skinny hand on her hip, looking pretty scary, despite the whole under four feet tall thing.

"Angel. Names Fang. Where's Max?" I ask hurriedly. She smiles, and looks at me. Proudly? Beckoning, she puts a hand on my shoulder. Bringing my ear up to her cherub like face.

"The prom. You can find it." She reassures me. Smiling, I stand up, and ruffle her hair. She shoots me a glare.

"Oh, and Fang?" She calls to my retreating figure. I stop, and turn to face her. Lillian's headed inside.

"You hurt her, I'll kill you!" She sings, skipping back inside. The door slams with a shut, despite her not touching it.

Scary child.

_-Time Skip-_

"No scary little kids?"

"Check."

"No creepy babysitters?"

"Check."

"Breath?"

"Check."

"Armpits?"

"Check, and mate, checkmate! I think you're ready." Iggy looks at me, then punches me on the shoulder.

"Go kick some ass."

Nodding, I head out of the car. How is it, that one girl can make me so jittery? I don't get scared. But Max, Max just makes me feel like a kid again. Which is why I'm crossing an empty parking lot, halfway across the country, to gate-crash some random prom.

Yep.

I'm officially whipped.

And I don't care!

This is me, officially taking my man points card, throwing it in a trash can, and burning it.

As I get to the large double doors, I'm stopped by two pretty large guys. Both look around my age. They stare me up and down. So I stare back.

"Well. What do we have here?"

"A little emo gate crasher." The other one taunts. Keep your cool Fang.

"I need to talk to Max." I say. Maybe they know her?

"Maximum Ride? She's not accepting any challenges until Monday. You're gonna have to wait punk."

"Challenges?"

"None. Any grudges gotta wait. What, you thick or sumin?" He says, with an oddly brummy accent. The other one is standing there silently.

"I aint got no grudge. But I gotta talk to her." I say. Don't they understand how urgent this is? She could be slow dancing with some loser by now!

"Name. We'll pencil you in for the club." He draws out a pad of paper, covered with graphs, and names. As I peer closer, I realise its marks.

_Max vs. Siren= M_

_Dome vs. Max= M_

_Dylan vs. Max=M_

_Tay vs. Max= Tie_

_Tay vs. Max (rematch) = M_

And it goes on and on. No way can Max be in alley fighting. Right?

"Fang. Fang Jones." I say. He pauses, pencil mid-air. The two thugs look at one another, then me.

"Jones?" He repeats. I raise a brow, but nod.

"We be awful sorry mate. We didn't realise you were…"

"THE Fang." Silent says. I look at them confused as they step aside. I take advantage however, and quickly walk through the doors into a lobby sort area.

"But Fang?" One yells. I turn and look at them again. The night makes them look pretty sinister. They wish.

"Hurt her, we hurt you." One says. I nod once. And begin to walk down the double stair case. The whole place is well lit, but not enough that you can see the cracks in the girls make up. I wonder just how many people want to protect Max.

My dress shoes make sharp clacks on the stairs, getting me some attention. All the girls openly gawk. Not that it boosts my ego or anything. I feel myself getting more, and more nervous with each and every passing second.

"Damn." I hear a particularly slutty girl whisper to her friend.

"Hey!" I squeaky voice… Squeaks. What now? I turn and face the confident girl. Her hair is long and red, but it's not natural. She's pretty, but it's not natural either. In fact, it's so maked up I wouldn't recognise her if I passed her on a deserted street.

And then there's her dress.

Or, what could be a dress with about another three metres of fabric.

Ignoring herm I try walking past, but she grabs onto my hand. Hers is oily, like she's used many a bottle of hand cream. Her hot pink nails dig into my skin.

"I say hey. Don't be so rude." She all but purrs. I swallow my fear, and remove my hand from hers.

"Excuse me." I say. A few people look at me in awe. She must be some queen bee around here. Shame.

And then I see her.

Would it be bad if I said my world stopped spinning?

She was sitting there, alone. And all I wanted to do was go over, sit next to her, and bring a smile to her lips.

Her hair's long, and blonde, but not prissy. She's beautiful, but not over the top or fake looking. But most of all, she sat with an air of 'fuck off'. It has to be her. I know it is.

Placing one foot in front of another, I try to stay upright. The room is a blur, and as horrifically cliché as it sounds, she's the only thing making sense in here.

"Max?" I ask. She looks up at me with the biggest brown eyes I've ever seen. But there's something harsh about them, like she's seen things, and knows things she shouldn't.

"Fang?" She replies, voice filling the air around us.

Crap! I just realised how weird this will be to her. Some random comes up to her, and know her name and- What? Did she say Fang?

"Yeah… Hi." I say with a smile. Dude, she is so out of my league.

Her eyes go blank as I assume she has a mental debate like I always seem to have.

"What are you…? Why? Here, you live… Um. I like your hair?" She says, going the most adorable shade of pink. What I wouldn't give to kiss her. If she was with someone, I'd be long dead.

"Thanks." I say with more than one meaning.

"Mind your own bloody business!" She suddenly yells.

That's it, we're getting married.

Looking around, I realise how many people are staring at us. I hadn't noticed…

"You really are a piece of work. No wonder you're solo. What am I going to do with you?" The words tumble out before I can check them. I know I've done something wrong as her face shuts down, hardening.

"Excuse me. I have to go. Sorry you drove so far to meet me." She hisses. I freeze, shit. What have I done now?

Walking off unnaturally fast, I can't help but smile at her guts. A set of guts I won't have access to unless I get my act together and make a move. A proper move. Looking over, I check where she's gone. The front door. If I go around the one that says exit, I should…

"Hey, hot stuff. We haven't been properly introduced. My names Lissa. What's yours?" The slutty girl from before whispers into my ear.

Don't have time! Gotta find Max! My head goes off, damn, this girl has a strong grip!

"I've gotta go." I say. Get the message!

"Afraid I can't let you do that. You see, when there's something I want, I get it." Her voice goes threatening. Where'd Max go?

"I've got to go." I repeat, keeping a neutral face. Trying to get her to leave me alone. What? I don't hit girls!

"Sure. We both do. To my house or yours?" Before I can register what's happening, her sticky lips are shoved against mine. And her claws, digging into my hair.

I'm screwed.

Her tongue sticks into my mouth, and she groans. My eyes widen, not again. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of blonde move quickly.

Having had enough, I relent and shove her off me. Her green eyes are blazing. But I've got more important things to do.

"Nice to meet you Lissa. I've got to go." I say.

Hissing, she tries to grab onto my arm, and what's left of her dignity. I shake her off, and run in the direction Max went. I hope I can get there in time.

**Max POV**

"How could he?" I all but sob. I'll admit, I'm curled up in a ball in a tree, trying to not let the tears flow.

I trusted him! I thought that maybe, just maybe, we'd have a shot. That it could go somewhere. But no, he had to go and screw it all up.

'Why's it affecting you so much Max?' My inner Angel asks. And not like the fluttery one, but my evil little sister one.

'It's not like you fell for him.' She taunts with a giggle. I'm going crazy. I really am.

'I did not!'

'Whatever you say Maxie.' And with that, she's gone. Leaving me more confused than ever, actually. I really hate that little sweetie pie.

"Max? Let me talk!" A masculine voice calls through the woods. The voice breaks me out of my trance, and it's one that I can easily identify as Fang. Sucking in my breathe, I wait for him to leave, but oddly enough, he smirks, and walks over to under my tree.

"Max, come down." He orders. My eyes widen. How'd he know I was here? He must be bluffing.

Right?

"Maximum Ride! I know you're up that tree. Come down." This time he tries to make eye contact, but I avoid it. Instead I look upwards. Now or never. I can't really stay up here forever.

Max! Why are you giving in so easily?

It can't be the way the moonlight is hitting his dark hair.

It definitely can't be the way his huge, onyx eyes are staring up at me. And my face, not under my dress.

And it absolutely, positutely can't be the way he's giving me a funny little half smile.

No. Way. In. Hell.

But before I can stop them however, my legs have gotten my out of the tree and easily onto the ground in front of him.

"Can we start again?" He asks immediately, eyes looking oddly worried. I appraise him. He seems sincere…

"Sure." I say, my voice guarded. I might be letting him in, but he isn't hurting me. Fangs face shows no emotion, his lips a blank line, a hot one, but blank.

The only part of his face that I can read, are his eyes. And I can read them pretty damn good.

"Will you go back to the dance with me?" He says.

"Aren't you gate crashing?" I ask smirking ever so slightly. This isn't his scene. But then again, it aint mine either.

"Sure." He copies me, but chuckling under his breath. I frown. Fang doesn't laugh.

_-Time Skip-_

We both laugh till we cry, drawing attention. But I don't care this time around.

"You-ha-ha- didn't!" I wheeze out.

"I so. Did!" He hisses, trying to draw breath. My cheeks go red from the exercise. My insides are churning, and the room is too hot. I stop, and draw breathe so I don't choke.

"In the boot?" I wheeze. Making eye contact, we both start off again.

I don't remember ever feeling this happy before.

Curious.

Fang wiped his eyes, then stops, and looks at me. I know there are mirrored tears rolling down my face. Carefully, he moves closer. Holding out his thumb, his eyes ask if it's okay. He seems to find the answer is my terrified eyes.

Max! Breathe! I order myself. He's moving closer, I can see every lash on his face. Gently, as if I'm fragile, he wipes the tears from under my eyes.

"Thanks." I rasp. He doesn't reply, but I can see the contentment.

The band, a bunch of scared juniors, begin to play a slow song. One with a strong melody. In sync, we both start humming it under our breath. Smiling, he stands up and holds out a work hardened hand.

"Maximum Ride. Please may I have this dance?" He whispers, bringing my hand to his lips. Biting my bottom lip, I nod my blonde head.

"Thank god." I barely hear him whisper under his breath.

I put my long arms around his neck, and his are suddenly around my waist.

"Relax." He mutters. My eyes drift shut, and I carefully place my head on his neck. We sway in time to the music. Occasionally, he spins me around. A small smile graces my lips as I hear him sigh happily.

"Max?" He asks. Nodding, I look up to face him. Yep, he's that tall.

"I have something for you." He says, almost sounding afraid. He slips a folded up piece of paper into my hand, and looks into my eyes. Confused, I look back to him. He nods.

Opening the paper, my eyes pop out of my head as I hold back a gasp. There, in black and white, for the world to see:

_I Love You,  
>Maximum Ride.<br>Want To Have An Adventure?_

I look up at him, and slowly, slowly, ever so slightly nod my head. Carefully, moves closer, and picks up my hand in his. A smile on his perfect face.

"Good." He whispers.

**3****rd**** Person POV**

"Max and Fang smile at one another, a new secret in their eyes. The world happier, fuller, and a lot less scary."

Laughing in an amused way, Ella swats at his head.

"Iggy! You're such a retard! Now, please, help me the hell down from this balcony." Ella orders, every bit of her sister. Bowing, with a blonde eyebrow raised, he lifts up a pale hand, which she takes with a small curtsy.

They're hidden in the balcony of the old hotel. Out of sight, and apparently, out of mind.

"Why, thank you kind sir." She says with a chuckle. Slinging an arm around her shoulders, he frowns.

"You know, there's one thing that annoys me." He says.

"And what's that honey?" She says. Looking happily into her trusting eyes, he laughs.

"Well, it's just after all this planning, and being locked in a boot for 6 hours, I'd hoped…" He trails off.

"Hoped what?" Ella asks with curiosity in her voice.

"Well, just that they'd do more than hold hands." He says sheepishly. Glaring, she swats his head. Again.

"Let's go Mr Cupid." She winks, as they climb into his car giggling.

"It is odd though, how we've all been linked by a pen." She mutters curiously.

Isn't it?

The End

**The End guys! Eek! Tell me what you thought, and I'm sorry it took SO long to write! **

**The last questions:**

**If your life was a movie, what would the movie be called?**

**Why did the chicken cross the road?**

**What should I write next (no sequels).**

**There we have it! I'll miss you guys!**

**Blue-Songbirds**


End file.
